The Amazing Pudding

Spike Lee Still a Better Director than Knic ks a Basketball Team

2006-03-31T11:54:00.000-06:00

Sorry, that was harsh, but whoever thought Larry Brown was the answer didn't read the question.

Spike Lee is one of my favorite directors. Not because I like every movie he releases, I don't (anybody see SUMMER OF SAM) but he feels so passionately about his art, and he's so confident, he's not afraid to go out there completely on limb. INSIDE MAN is as predictable a Spike Lee film as Match Point was a Woody ALlen film, but Lee succeeds where Allen failed, because he brought the skills he has at his dispossible and translated them to the new subject matter. And INSIDE MAN has it all, race relations, people caught in a job they can't control, unbeleivable ego and an amazing unstanding of the environment. And its a mystery. Its about twenty minutes into the movie that you realize that 'they got away with it' - you spend the rest of the movie trying to figure out what 'it' was and how they did it. And the depth of the ensemble cast, where every character is intriguing and even likable, only helps to cloud your judgement. ANd the details, the dialogue, its vintage SPike Lee, like I never expected.

Clive Owen takes a bank hostage, ostensibly to rob it. But yet he is concerned when one of the kids in the bank is play a violent game on his PSP. Denzel Washington is a first time lead detective trying to quell the hostage situation, and yet they is the matter of some $140,000 in missing checks back at the police station hanging over him. He is anxious to spar with Willem DeFoe, the grizzled cop and captain of the swat team, who is anxious to go in and shoot it up, but also like to solve a good riddle. And Christopher Plummer, the bank owner with a wall of community service plaques and something to hide. And he turns to Jodie Foster, who sparkles as a high class 'fixer,' and lives in a different world than Denzel. What a cast and Spike gets perfect performances out of each of them.

I seldom have been so satisfied coming out of a film... I dubbed it immediately a 'perfect film.' It accomplished everything it set out to do, and kept me guessing the whole time. Spike Lee is one of the truly great directors in a world of babysitters and niche specialists. And its his confidence that lets him tackle whatever appeals to him. I wonder if he just walks around New York looking for movie ideas, there must be very few inches left in Big Apple that he hasn't logged into a film... And when he gets tired of that he'll just film somewhere else (like in BAMBOOZLED or SCHOOL DAZE). Until Peter Jackson proves he can make a film set in one location with no digital effects, I'm going to praise Spike Lee as the best director working today.

INSIDE MAN is recommended for anyone who ever wanted to rob a bank, fans of great acting and directing, and people who haven't seen a movie since christmas. Rick's Rating: A

Indiana Hire New Coach that is Still Not Bobby Knight

2006-03-30T10:30:00.000-06:00

I am officially an IU alum. And I did search actively for www. firemikedavis. com And I don't believe Indiana has lived up to its legacy as one of the big four NCAA basketball programs (UCLA, Duke, Kentucky, Indiana) for several years. So I've been anxiously awaiting the end of the season to find out who they get to replace the coach who led IU to the final four and owns one of the best winning percentages in the big ten over the last five years.

The IU alumni have been clamoring for a return to the Bobby Knight era by hiring Steve Alford, a star from the Knight coached 1987 championship team and current coach of the Iowa Hawkeyes. FOr some reason, they prefer a coach with a lower winning percentage whose team got knocked out of the first round by Northwestern State, a 14 seed. Others felt Indiana should get Gonzaga coach Mark Few, whose teams, despite making the sweet sixteen this year, have failed to the last four years before that despite racking up the gaudiest winning percentages in the country. But Indiana seemed to shock all when it announced the hiring of Oklahoma coach Kelvin Sampson. Sampson has a final four appearance (2002, where he lost to a Mike Davis coached IU team) and nine straight twenty win seasons. But even OU seems anxious to get rid of him. His teams have accounted for more NCAA first round loses than any school save Penn and Murray State and this is despite normally having the higher seed. He's had a number of top recruits transfer out of the program. Guards Drew Lavender and Lawrence MacKenzie transfered just before the season, a year after big men Brandon Faust and Larry Turner. And before that De'Angelo Alexander who this year led the Charlotte 49ers in scoring in the Atlantic 10. And then there was All Big-12 freshman and McDonald's All American Ryan Humphrey who led Notre Dame in scoring and rebounding for two straight years and got drafted by the Utah Jazz (and immediately traded). And then there is attendance. WHich is down at OU for the fourth consecutive year. Now that probably won't happen at IU where the season ticket packages include only 6 games so everyone can get tickets who want them... but it is something to consider.

OU games are dull to watch. Because Sampson stresses defense and rebounding, they look like brawls and scores sit in the 40s and 50s. Why do you think people keep transfering? Now, I'm saying that style won't transfer well to the Big 10, it probably will, but its not going to look anything like the finesse teams of IU's legacy. And Sampson has often said that there is only time to teach a team one thing in the short season, so he teaches defense. Maybe there isn't enough time because he keeps losing players and has to rely on JUCO-Transfers. And IU has had enough of recruiting woes, having lost out on Indianapolis product and u.s.a. top prospect GREG ODEN to Ohio State. Ohio STate???? How is that possible. So Mike Davis wasn't able to recruit for shit and Kelvin Sampson isn't able to keep the recruits he does get. Actually, Oklahoma's recruiting class is one of the tops in the country for the upcoming year (we'll see if they all show after the latest news), but they is another concern. Sampson leaves OU amid scandal allegegations of some extra 500 illegal recruiting calls his staff made, 200 by Kelvin himself over a four year period. So Sampson may actually bring violations with him to Indiana (this just worse and worse).

Which brings us here, why was Mike Davis so bad? Sure his teams have underacheived, and he can't recruit instate talent, but this is not unrelated to the alumni's unfair expectations and culture of dissent that has arrisen around the IU program since Bobby Knight was ousted. The alumni want Knight back. THat's not going to happen. So they nitpick his successor and discuss very publically that Davis should be on the hotseat. Now who wants to go play for a coach in that position? And then there is the race factor. IU is full of racist KKK hicks who want a white guy coaching and white guys on the floor (spend some time reading the posts on www.firemikedavis.com and you'll see what I mean. So for that reason, I am glad Sampson is a person of color. Will he have any more luck with the alumni than Davis? Probably, because he is replacing Mike Davis, who they hate, instead of Bobby Knight, who they loved. Will he recruit better? Who knows. Will he recruit legally? Who knows.

I guess I'm just wondering is this the best they could do? I mean North Carolina got Roy WIlliams, who had already won a championship, and this Indiana University, the main program in the state of where they made a movie called Hoosiers. I'm sorry, but they obviously didn't throw enough money at whoever they really wanted, or they didn't even try.

p.s. special thanks to OU and IU alum Richard Ford for his insights on the issue.

V For Vendetta disappointedly NOT third part of the V mini-series

2006-03-29T09:38:00.000-06:00

Okay, once I got over the fact that there was nothing in V FOR VENDETTA to do with Aliens conquering the world and stealing our water supply, despite the fact that the spray-paint graphic V looks anawful like another spray-painted V from the 1984 mini-series, I settled in and enjoyed a great sci-fi mystery action-flick. Set in the not-so-distant and not-so-impossible repressively conservative future, V FOR VENDETTA finds a nation who have given up much of their basic freedoms in exchange for safety. The Lord High Chancellor uses fear tactics and the media to bully the citizens into believing what is politically appropriate at the time. It can't happen here right? And in fact, in one of the funniest things about the movie, it doesn't. It happens in England. America is referred to as in civil war with too many different 'undesirables' allowed to live inside its borders. England has avoided that by kicking out the jews, the muslims, you get the picture.

And then comes V, donning a Guy Fawkes mask and blowing up the Old Bailey. V sounds strangley like Elrond, lord of Rivendale, but since you never see his face or his elfen ears, I don't really know who was behind that mask. I guess it could have been Hugo Weaving. Or just a double the whole time and Hugo could have layed all his dialogue down during ADR looping. Anyway, on the fateful night (V doesn't beleive in coincidences) he stumbles across Evey (Natalie Portman) being sexually harrassed by the curfew patrol, and she becomes entangled in his plot to bring down the government.

V FOR VENDETTA is a satisfying sci-fi, a an exciting mystery and full of fighting and explosions to please those with limited attention spans. Natalie Portman is wonderful as usual. She appears to have come through the Star Wars debacle unscathed. The rest of the cast is also strong. John Hurt as the dictator Sutler somewhat reminiscent of an Ian McKellen Richard III is especially effective - he mainly appears on television screens throughout the movie. Stephen Rea and Stephen Fry seem to be a package deal in movies, though they have no scenes together, and acquit themselves nicely as Portman's co-worker and the detective investigating V. THe movie is, according to their own spin cycle, the first 'must-see' movie of the year, and it may be (for me, apparently, it was, as this is the first movie I saw this year). It also clears the pallete from any taste leftover from the the last two installments of the MATRIX trilogy. One of the main reasons for the movie's success may be that the Wachowski brothers only wrote and produced V FOR VENDETTA and give directing duties to James McTiegue, who served as first assistant director on the Matrix movies as well as Star Wars Attack of the CLones. It is rare now days that someone arrives at directing by that route, but he brought the perfect amount of menace to the film and kept me guessing at the mystery behind the mask for much of the film.

The one flaw of the film is its reliance on that mask. THis is the same issue I had for the SPIDERMAN movie and that is there is nothing less exciting than looking at an unmoving mask and hearing dialogue. THe Green Goblin is hardly a frightening villian with that ridiculous mask, and there is nothing less exciting than watching the rooftop 'dialogue' of Spidey and the Goblin when neither one has lips or mouths to movie. (the worst part is when the mask itself seems to be called WIllem Dafoe from the chair - but thats also just bad plotting as well). ANyway, what works in a comic book does not alays translate well to the big screen. V FOR VENDETTA avoids many of the pitfalls by keeping the shots of V alone on screen to a minimum, and Hugo (or his body double) gives V a flourish with hands, hat and head shifts that keep the screen from being static. But still, would it have been that hard to just create a mask with open lips for the mouth... My only other qualm is that they shave Natalie Portman's beautiful hair off (it is very important plotwise) and that, even though she has enough time in the film time to grow it back, she doesn't... I like my heroines with hair. Especially Natalie Portman who has been the cutest button on the jacket since she was 11 and in THE PROFESSIONAL.

V FOR VENDETTA is recommended from anyone who thinks it can't happen here, anyone thinks it can happen here and anyone who thinks it is happening here, fans of sci-fi, Natalie Portman, and the first Matrix movie, and historians of the James I reign. RICK'S RATING: A-

Much Anticipated Return of The Amazing Pudding

2006-03-27T13:06:00.000-06:00

Okay, I'm back.

And I come to direct from CALIFORNIA !!! That's right. I've moved.

"to see my own name on a screen five feet wide and luminous" - mike doughty.

I promise to start up with the movie reviews again ... in all honest, I saw pretty much nothing thoughout january and february, one of the main reasons being that hollywood usually releases crap after the oscar onslaught... so there wasn't a whole lot worth seeing. But I did see two good movies this weekend, so I'll hit those tuesday and thursday.

In the meantime, in getting ready for and enjoying my my move to the Bear State, I prepared the following list. It is by no means exhaustive, but since I had to pull together information from several sites all over the internet, I thought I'd post it here, in one place.

SONGS ABOUT CALIFORNIA, SONGS ABOUT LA

Classic division (pre 1986):

Going to California - Led Zeppelin
I Am I Said - Neil Diamond
Get Back - THe Beatles
California Dreaming - THe Mamas and the Papas
Hannukah In Santa Monica - Tom Lehr
Hotel California - THe Eagles
Gone Hollywood - Supertramp
To Live and Die in LA - Wang CHung
Walking in LA - Missing Persons
I Love LA - Randy Newman
California Man - THe Move
East LA - War
Born in East La - Cheech Marin
Hollywood Nights - Bob Seeger
LA Woman - the Doors
California Nights - The Sweet
Another Nice Day in LA - Eddie Money
Back to California - Carole King
California - Joni Mitchell
Little Old Lady From Pasadena - Jan and Dean
California GIrls - the Beach Boys (and pretty much every soon they ever wrote)
Los Angeles - X

Modern Division:

California - Dressy Bessy
Beverly Hills - Weezer
California Love - TuPac and Dr. Dre
Paradise City - Guns N Roses
One in a Million - Guns N ROses
Fuck California - THe Presidents of the United States of America
LA County - Lyle Lovett
LA Freeway - Jerry Jeff Walker
Staight Outta Compton - NWA
Electrolite - REM
City of Angels - 10,000 Maniacs
Hell Looks a Lot Like LA - Less than Jake
Los Angeles is Burning - Bad Religion
Burn Hollywood Burn - Public Enemy
California - Low
Malibu - Hole
LA - Elliot Smith
Goodnight Hollywood Boulevard - Ryan Adams
Unfair - Pavement
Going Back to Cali - L.L. Cool J
All I Wanna Do - Sheryl Crow
Los Angeles - Frank Black
Los Angeles I'm Yours - THe Decemebrists
Long December - Counting Crows
Naked and Famous - The Presidents of the United States of America
Hollywood - Madonna
HOllywood Cemetery - Cracker
Stanley Kubric - King Missile
California Stars - Billly Bragg and Wilco
I Remember California - REM
Hollywood Freaks - Beck
California - Tom Petty
Free Fallin - Tom Petty
Lullaby - Shawn Mullins
Come to California - Matthew Sweet
Screenwriter's Blues - Soul COughing
California - Phantom Planet (i.e. the fucking them from the OC)
California - Semisonic
Californication - Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Santa Monica - Everclear
No Peace, Los Angeles - Mike DOughty
Why You'd Want to Live Here - Death Cab for Cutie
California King - Everclear

Feel free to sugest additions... my only rules were that the song has to be about La/California, being there, living there, being from there, wanting to live there, not wanting to live there, etc. and not just a name check (note: almost all westcoast rappers mention they're from compton or watts etc, but NWA's song Straight Outta Compton is specifically about being from compton). Also, no covers of songs already on the list.

Also, there are a bunch of songs about San Francisco as well, but I didn't move there, so they are not part of the list.

Now I've Got Another Movie to Wait a Year For: HARRY POTTER IV

2005-12-02T18:01:00.000-06:00

After much bemoaning that the years were feeling empty and hollow without a Lord of the Rings installment to cap them off, and since my petition Peter Jackson to make the Silmarrilion endeavor doesn't seem to be gaining any traction, I contented myself that the holidays would never be same as they were for those three glorious years I had anxiously rushed to the theater for the debut of each hobbitt filled fantasy. But bubbling under the whole time, HARRY POTTER boils over in attention with this fourth movie, THE GOBLET OF FIRE. For the record, I never read the HP books until after the movie comes out, that way I am given complete enjoyment of each as individual arts without having to moan and whine about what was left out. And I have enjoyed all three prior movies and books (each book I read sheds more light on the movie I just saw, giving me fuller enjoyment). But without a doubt, the FOURTH MOVIE is the best so far.

Chris Columbus knows how to work with child actors, and he picked an amazing cast back five years ago, and it has a been a pleasure to watch them grow up and grow as actors under different directors. The pay off has got to be in GOBLET OF FIRE, when they have finally reached the age where they begin to notice each other as attractive human beings (or wizards and muggles). Nev er before has the series offered such opportunity for character development as the horrors of having to go to your first formal dance. Add to this the final visual/physical representation of the evil Voldemort and the influx of whole new set of characters from wizardy schools elsewhere in the world and you have the make up of an exciting movie.

THE GOBLET OF FIRE revolves around a wizarding competition between the three schools, and Harry somehow is chosen to represent his school despite being vastly underaged. And unlike the past movies, where this feels oh, he's just a special wizard, this time it's really a mess. Everyone is mad at him and it is very dangerous. Meanwhile, the Death Eaters, the cloaked followers of the Dark Lord seem to be everywhere proclaiming their master's return. And even scarrier, Harry blows it with the girl he likes and Ron is too clueless to make the move on Hermoine.

At the director's helm this time is British director Mike Newell (Four Weddings and a Funeral, Mona Lisa Smile), who gives the emotional and social turmoil as much depth as the normal scare and tear of the other Potter films. Everyone's favorite trio of students turn in their best performances. Daniel Radcliffe (Harry) has finally grown into the stoic hero he needs to be and Rupert Grint (Ron) injects humor into an often dark film. The true star of the film is Emma Watson (Hermoine) who finds herself caught between the boy she likes who's too stupid to realize it and the boy who like her who is just plain stupid. I am anxious to see what she can do outside of the Potter world in the years to come and I hereby tag her it girl of the future as I did Kirsten Dunst after Jumanji and Anna Paquin after the Piano (before you comment I'm jumping on the band wagon a little late on this one I will report that I so labelled her after the first movie, I just didn't have a blog to write about it). Alan Rickman is excellent as ever as the morally questionable Snape and it's fun to see Robbie Coltrane (Hagrid) get a love interest.

And since this is fantasy, a word about the effects. They rule. And they are so much better than the earlier films (which I recently watched to brace up for the film). It is always interesting to see what a director will do with already predesigned sets and costumes and how they will add their own touches. ANd where as the prior director Alfonso Cuaron added much to the moodiness of the serious and the third film is still the best shot... Newell has done what others have so failed to do, made these characters lovable and made me love them. Even the minor characters... the most emotional moment of the film for me involved two new characters, Cedric Diggory and his father.

HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE is recommended for anyone who enjoyed the first movies or misses Lord of the Rings, anyone who still has nightmares of the Sophomore year Homecoming Dance, parents who want to scare the crap out of their kids, and if you haven't seen the other three movies, rent them, watch them, and then go see this one, then you two can anxiously await 2007 and the Order of the Phoenix. Rick's Rating: A

Rock Hall Finally Gets Some Balls

2005-11-30T08:24:00.000-06:00

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame finally addressed two of its most glaring (conscious) oversites Monday by inducting BLACK SABBATH and the SEX PISTOLS into its honorees. I have been a critic of the Rock Hall's selections since around 1995, when they moved out of the easy to agree upon sixties into the seventies (a band's first album must be 25 years old to be eligible). THe seventies began the fragmentation of rock music, where all sorts of genres, country-rock, heavy metal, progressive rock, southern rock, funk, disco, punk, pub, and countless sub genres began to appear. It also covers the era when Rolling Stone Magazine and other such publications appointed themselves arbiters of our musical taste, and decided what was good and what was merely popular. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has been, unfortunately, guided by those initial prejudices.

Critical darlings like The Ramones and Clash get in on their first year of eligibility whereas the band that has come to represent punk rock, and truly did represent it 1976-78 in its heydey, The Sex Pistols, has to wait several years for entrance. The lone true Sex Pistols album, Never Mind the Bullocks, is one of the best selling of all time and is consistently listed in top albums lists and artists favorites. Punk rock is THE MOST IMPORTANT development in music in the second half of the seveties, and no one can dispute that its two most important bands were the Sex Pistols and the Clash. The Clash may have been better musicians, but that's where Rolling Stone and the Rock Hall never get it, Punk is not about the music so much as the IMAGE and the Sex Pistols were all about image. And there was a badge of honor in punk in not really being able to play your instruments, and Sid Vicious never even really learned to play the bass (his parts on the album were all recorded by original bassist Glen Matlock).

Far worse than dishonor done the Sex Pistols has been the BLACK SABBATH, who should have been inducted with fellow heavy metal trailblazer Led Zeppelin back in 1995. Critics have never liked Ozzy Osbourne's band with their satanic undertones and their simple blues based riffing (no simpler than already inducted AC/DC). THe band itself had even gotten tired of hearing about their snubbing, saying with guitarist Tommy Iommi saying that the nomination was meaningless because it was not voted in by the fans. Sabbath sold millions of records and recorded classic songs such as Paranoid, War Pigs and Iron Man. The hand of the Rock Hall may have been forced with the upstart UK Rock Hall inducting Sabbath two weeks ago in their 2nd induction, and certainly there have been many fans, petitions and well-rounded critics making the case for Sabbath (and the Sex Pistols) for the last several years, so maybe they just caved into the pressure. Fine. Whatever it takes. If people like Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers and Brenda Lee can be in the ROCK and roll hall of fame than there is certainly room for Black Sabbath. I mean come on, the DELLS? They had one hit. One hit. My only qualm with the induction I guess will have to be that they are only inducting the original line up, despite there being several prominent names attached to the band in later years, who are certainly more deserving of being in the rock and roll hall of fame than half the people that came in as the Grateful Dead (including the person primarily played tamborine and marracas). Ronnie James Dio, Vinnie Appice, and Geoff Nicholls are all important parts of the Sabbath story, albeit later one.

Other inductees are less controversial. Lynyrd Skynyrd finally made it in, another fan favorite and certainly an prime influnce on all these new southern rockers (My Morning Jacket being my favorite). Certainly writing the song Freebird, the number two most played song on classic rock radio (after stairway to heaven) helps. And then Sweet Home Alabama. Solid song, despite its racist politics. Anyway, they're fine. Let em in I say. And then there is Miles Davis, whose connection to Rock Music is questionable at best. THe Rock Hall does this, putting in so-called influences... but that doesn't really seem to make since. You don't see prominent cricket players in the Baseball hall of fame. Miles Davis would never consider himself a rock and roll artist. But fine, he's great. He's certainly more important than Frankie Lyman and the Teenagers. And then there is Blondie. I like Blondie, everyone has a blondie greatest hits cd or tape in their collection. But would anyone really argue they are deserving on the Hall of fame in their second year of eligibility? Can anyone even really argue they belong amongst the Beatles and David Bowie? I mean there isn't really anything they did that three other bands at the same time were'nt doing better, and there main influential claim to fames seems to be name checking Grand Master Flash before anyone who wasn't in New York knew who he was in Rapture (Flash is Fast. Flash is cool.). Why not just induct Flash himself?

So now we come to the bitch and moan section... Certainly the Rock Hall has reached the time when rap music can be inducted and the first members should be without a doubt, Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five. Flashreleased his first single in 1979, and had a profound influence on the first six years of Rap music, especially with the first rap crossover hit, the Message, a serious-minded piece that was years ahead of Public Enemy and NWA for its description of ghetto life.

Another critically-influenced oversite is ALICE COOPER, one of the best selling artists of all time and the leading american contributor to the Glam movement. I swear if KISS gets in before Alice I am boycotting the ROck Hall forever (and there is definitely a move to get KISS in). Alice Cooper began his career in the late sixties as a pioneer of theatrical shock rock. His early band the SPiders are referenced by David Bowie's Ziggy Stardust album (Alice is actually a big influence on Bowie's glam period). He recorded several top ten US hit singles and several platinum albums. His influence on modern day shock masters like Marilyn Manson cannot be questioned. Oh and he wrote great catchy songs.

ANd then there is the category of PROGRESSIVE ROCK. Critics hate prog rock. Fans love it. It was, much to their chagrin, the most popular music from 1971-76. After Zeppelin, no one sold more albums or filled more stadiums than YES. Yes is actually probably the most successful band not in the Hall of Fame. Roundabout is the third most played song on classic rock radio (right after Freebird) and the album FRAGILE is an essential element to any classic rock collection. Their personel changes are legendary, as is their 80's comeback with Owner of a Lonely Heart, a number one hit song. Yes is one of the more influential bands of all time, inspiring countless imitators for years, and spwaning several successful side-projects. They brough science fiction into the rock iconography with their obscure lyrics and gorgeous album covers and created the 20 minute epic. A lot of critics say that alone should keep them out. But last year Yes released a five disk box set and toured the world, selling out shows from here to India. Obviously I am a Yes fan, but the Rock and ROll Hall of Fame needs to serve all kinds of Rock music and the lack of Yes is comparable to not having the Who (indeed, Yes have sold more albums than the Who).

Two Men and a Bomb: PARADISE NOW

2005-11-28T09:55:00.000-06:00

What better way to celebrate thanksgiving than to watch something that makes you truly thankful that you live in America. And though there is much messed up with this country (that I am wont to complain about) we don't have to deal with members of our family joining up to become suicide bombers to battle the oppression as we are held hostage in our own land. That is precisely the situation in the excellent PARADISE NOW, a movie that could and would never be made in hollywood, but can, through the amazing collaborative spirit of the continental film market, be made by a Palestinian director and a Dutch, two Germans, an Israeli and a French Producer.

Director Hany Abu-Assad studied the interrogation transcripts of suicide bombers who had failed, read Israeli official reports and spoke to people who personally knew bombers who died -- the friends and families and mothers to find out exactly what makes someone sign up to die for Allah. He of course discoved that every stary is unique and so he gives us a movie three distinct view points: two friends who sign up to be martyrs and the female friend of one of them, herself the daughter of a famous martyr. Said and Khaled work dead end auto mechanic jobs under the oppression of the Israeli occupation of Palestine. Their mission is simple, go into Tel Aviv and blow something up, the more soldiers you get the better. They are strapped into their bomb suits (which can not be removed without be detonated) and head over the border, only to be instantly spotted. After they are seperated the confusion begins and second act is given over to wether the men will go through with their task on their own or give up. I don't want to give anything away because that is part of the joy of PARADISE NOW, really getting into the minds of a suicide bombers...

But I've made the movie sound far more serious than it actually is. There are tremendous moments of comedy and tender moments of romance. The cinematagrophy is gritty and direct and performances are excellent. I especially liked Said's mother (Hiam Abbass) one of the most conflicted characters every filmed who sparkles in every scene she is on screen. There is also a great Last Supper visual referrence than was amusing. In all PARADISE NOW will make you think. It is a movie that challenges without preaching and offeres several viewpoints to take or leave. It is ambiguous, but has to be, it is not one story, but rather a story of an entire people, living in horrendous conditions that we in America can only imagine (this movie can help you do that)

PARADISE NOW is recommended to lovers of Political topics, anyone whose ever been to Morrocco in Epcot, people scouting this year's foreign language oscar field, and anyone with a big beard considering shaving. Rick's Rating: A-

4 Days in the Desert: JARHEAD

2005-11-23T09:23:00.000-06:00

Let's start by saying just because a movie is about war does not make it intrinsically political. ANd just because this war we are in looks strangely like our last one, does not make this movie 'calculated.' JARHEAD is based off the personal and funny memoirs of Anthony Swofford, and follows swoff's through boot camp to the minefields of Iraq and back home again. It is harrowing to say the least and I walked out saying to our wife that our hypothetical son is never joining the marines. I tend to have that feeling after most war movies, I have so much respect for what these soldiers go through, especially those who don't have a whole lot of other options for advancement. And I understand the faceless mentallity that combat requires from its participants, unquestionably following orders, etc. But it is not a life I would want for myself or anybody I loved. And as you watch Jake Gylenhaal is a sure to be oscar-nominated performance, you will love him too. He's a kid, like all these guys, given a gun and taught to hate (as the old Jethro Tull song gos), he didn't ask for all this mess. And the group think is so frightening, for example, the harrowing scene where they watch Apocalypse Now to rev themselves up for combat???

The entire ensemble is brilliant. Peter Saarsgard, morally questionable as usual, plays Swoff's sniper siter, a man born to be a marine. And Jamie Foxx is the squad sergeant, one of those who drank the kool-aid, he's a lifer and everyone had better be as miserable as he is, but he'll never let you know he's miserable. And then there is CHris Cooper the man at the head of the whole battalion I guess, who is only in the movie a couple of times but always makes the scenes swirl around himself while fires up his troops. But those are just the names. THe real stars are all the soldiers, adding to story with their little idiosyncrocies and personal story lines (like the marine whose wife is pregnant) or the one whose wife dumps him via videotape...ouch!

Sam Mendes (American Beauty, Road to Perdition) turns in another masterful job as director, with great help from cinematographer Roger Deakins (The VIllage, SHawshank) - the film is tight and intense, and looks amazing. THe adaptation is flawless, capturing a forgetten war that basically lasted four days through the eyes of one man who could only think about whether or not he was going to get to shoot his gun. WIlliam Broyles, writer/creator of CHina Beach, lets just enough of swoff's voice come through in the voice over but leaves us plenty of time to be amazed buy the images, especially the long trek across the desert.

JARHEAD is a powerful important film that should be well-represented at the Oscars. What's really irratating is the number of critics who want it to be either an indictment of war, or a supportive missive for the current administration's 'nation' building. It's not either and it never intends to be. They are frightened by the movie's lack of meaning, its ambivalence and ambiguity. I wonder if they even watched the movie? It's one man's experience, and based on his experience, draw your own fucking conclusions. WHy do you need everything so nicely packaged?

JARHEAD is recommended for war movie fans, anyone with someone serving overseas currently, anyone who loves their country, anyone who hates their country, anyone who just wants to seee a good movie, and anyone who wants to watch Jake Gylenhaal run around in his undies and a Santa cap. Rick's Rating: A.

The Aids Movie Without Singing? THE DYING GAUL

2005-11-22T07:54:00.000-06:00

I thought I'd take a moment to review this movie that most people probably won't see anyway and just let them know that that's okay... THE DYING GAUL is based on writer/director Craig Lucas's play about young screenwriter who writes a screenplay about his lover who died of AIDS and then must decide whether or not he will allow the studio to change the sex of the character to make it more audience friendly. Sounds like a good premise for a movie right? It is. In fact, the first twenty minutes of this movie are amazing, a perfectly acting tense dialogue between writer Peter Sarsgaard and Studio exec Campbell Scott. And then, Lucas basically forgets what his movie is about. He gets entangeled in a love triangle with Scott's wife, played by Patricia Clarkson. I have rarely been so frustrated with a director ... and so bored with the film that features several scenes of people talking on the phone, reading their email and chatting online. You know, the scene in CLOSER is so good, any other attempt to do that on film is just going to look like a bad copy. The music in the film, I have to mention, is recycled Steven Reich, and while its good to hear Reich's music get some exposure, I couldn't help but think the drag and drop style of sound design (rather than hiring a composer to do a score) is typical of the lack of thought put into this movie. They really dropped the ball on it, and this time there is no one to blame than the writer himself. He got the movie deal he wanted ... is this really the story he wanted to tell and if so why?

THE DYING GAUL is recommended for people who like to watch people talk on the phone, people who want to catch the first twenty minutes of a movie and then go somewhere, anywhere, people who want to see Campbell Scott's ass, and, well, Craig Lucas, cause I guess this is the movie he wanted to make. Rick's Rating: D

This Business Can Kill You: KISS KISS BANG BANG

2005-11-21T09:03:00.000-06:00

Once upon a time I stumbled into a film that I had never seen a trailer for. It was Geena Davis as a housewife with amnesia, remembering bit by bit that she was a hitman and then kicked ass for the rest of the movie. It was Long Kiss Goodnight and one of my favorite movies of the year, and unfoturtanely for Writer Shane Black, I was one of the only ones who saw it. That's right, the largest spec script sale in the history of hollywood, 3 million dollars, flopped. And Shane Black was personan non gratis is la la land. Or so the story goes. It's amazing that the man who created the Lethal Weapon franchise had to take work as the Cafe Manager in As Good As it Gets in the long dry spell. But then he did what got him into the business in the first place, wrote a great script. And he got them to let him produce it.

KISS KISS BANG BANG is great fun, flick. Robert Downey Jr., in his latest (3rd?) career renaissance, plays a petty criminal who accidentally walks into an audition and gets whisked off to LA. There he is teamed up Val Kilmer, a P.I. who must give him on the job 'cop' training and goes by the catchy moniker of Gay Perry. He also runs into his first love, Harmony, played by fresh face Michelle Monaghan (NORTH COUNTRY) who I think we are going to see much from in the future (she is slated to appear in MI:3). The characters are tight and dialogue is funny and the directing, is perfect! K2B2 features one of the classic devices of literature, a suspect narrator, as Downey often must revise his story, jump back in flashback to explain something he missed or simply lie.... it's brilliant in the context of the film noir story, where the connections between the characters become deeper than originally thought. ANd of course, it;s funny.

I have to admit that it took about 10 minutes for the movie to find its stride because it jumps around so much right at the beginning, but once it found it, it danced straight on to the end. I have rarely had this much fun in the movie and I hope this is the first of many such films from writer/now-director Shane Black.

K2B2 is recommended to fans of buddy action film, people who like parodies of buddy action films, people who to support the latest bid for Robert Downey Jr's sobriety, and any one who wants to have a good time. RIck's Rating: A-

And Now, Like the Galapagos Turtles, We Wait...

2005-11-17T09:28:00.000-06:00

Thought we'de check in over in Dover PA - a lot has happened since closing arguments were given in the first intelligent design trial. If you remember, the 9 member school board had instituting the teaching of I.D. in biology, with a short statement read before any discussion of evolution. Parents of eleven students brought the school district to court for teaching religion in the classroom. The trial featured many expert witnesses and included the original text of the supposed religion-free statement, which used the word God several times. The six-week tial came to an end November 4th, but that was when it got truly interesting.

In last week's election, the voters spoke - replacing 8 of the 9 members of the school board with candidates who ran specifically on an anti-I.D. platform. Then Pat Robertson spoke, and the best way to show what an utter idiot and asshole he is is to print his words verbatim: "I’d like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don’t turn to God, you just rejected him from your city." He told them that "God is tolerant and loving, but we can't keep sticking our finger in his eye forever." Robertson said. "If they have future problems in Dover, I recommend they call on Charles Darwin. Maybe he can help them." So wait, God is tolerant and loving... but apparentally, you are not. This is the same man who called for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, suggested that the State Department be blown up with a nuclear device, and said that feminism encourages women to "kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians."

Monday night was the final meeting of the LAME-DUCK school board in Dover, PA. Newly-elected members looked on without a voice as the departing board discussed air-conditioning units. But one of the new members did have a response to Robertson, saying “What he said was extremely irresponsible, but you have to consider the source,” said Judy McIlvaine, one of the eight recently elected board members, whose tenure will begin next month. “I think our community is sensible enough not to take him too seriously.” Even the local religious leaders are shrugging off 700 Club leader's posturing. A pastor at Salem Lutheran Church in Dover, said he wasn't surprised to hear that sentiment from Robertson, whom he called a "war monger" who is out of touch with mainstream Christians. But the best response, of course, came from a student. Seventeen-year-old Meghan Hilbert, a junior at Dover High School and one of two student representatives to the board, said Robertson’s remarks pissed her off. “I think it’s morally wrong for him to say when God’s going to help someone and when he’s not. I don’t believe anything he says,” she added. “He owes Dover a big apology, especially our churches.” SO THERE! For me, I can't understand why this person is still on the air... Let's look at it the other way, if there was someone in another country, like lets say, Venezuala, calling for the assassination of our president... I don't think that person would be on television for that much longer.

Anyway, the final battle on I.D. for this particular incarnation of the school board was rather unexciting. One of the out-going ousted members, David Napiersky, proposed dropping the school's policy on Intelligent Design in light of last week’s election. He said, “it would be good of us to recognize the voters have spoken and now we can serve them by not wasting anymore resources on the lawsuit.” He offered paying the plaitiffs $1. No one on the current board seconded the opinion and board president Sheila Harkins quickly pronounced it dead. After the meeting he reiterated his comments, saying that although he personally agrees with I.D., he could see that it didn't serve the public interest to continue the debate when the new school board would obviously overturn the policy anyway, saying "We can’t defend it. It’s gone."

It is quite possible that he was encouraged to push this tactic by the Discovery Institute, a pro-I.D. 'think' tank (sorry I have to put quotes around think if they are going to be 'thinking' about I.D.). Knowing full well that the case for the Dover School Board looks pretty bad, the forces of creationism don't want to give evolution such an easy victory in court, and have to appeal a case that would be hard to win in front of the supreme court... for a decisive take on evolution in the classroom. New members of the school board, on the other hand, seem very confident in the case, saying they were looking forward to hearing what the judge had to say.

Judge John E. Jones III said he hopes to reach a decision by the end of the year in the non-jury trial. It is ironic, as the attorney for the Plaitiff pointed out in court that the story of Kitzmiller v. Dover played out, ironically, in a state founded on the principles of religious liberty. For now, we will just have to be satisfied that in the court of public opinion, and in the minds of voters, Intelligent Design has been dealt a crushing blow.

FOR MY EARLIER PIECE on the Dover Trial (and the wonderful comment posted on it, please click here.

Boldly Going Where No Woman Has Gone Before: NORTH COUNTRY

2005-11-16T09:13:00.000-06:00

NORTH COUNTRY is one of those movies you go to because you feel like you should. Nobody really looks forward to sitting through The Accused or Shindler's List. Kind of like none of the women in this story really looked forward to going to work in mines, where only one in thirty workers were female and the industry wide sexual harrassment went right up to corporate. NORTH COUNTRY is a fictionalized account of a real class action lawsuit that changed the way these type of companies had to do business, a 1984 case in the Northern Minnesota Eveleth Mines. The movie is set in 1989, againstt the backdrop of the Anita Hill hearings in congress, and though that touch-up is not the only the story receives, it is one of the most inspired.

Director Niki Cairo (WHALE RIDER) a New Zealand native, faithfully delivers a strong case for the women, led by CHarlize Theron (in yet another role where they have to cover her in gunk so she is less pretty) and the always outstanding Francis McDormand. The sense of dread rises each day on the job as incidents build. And then comes the third act, the trial scene, which really kind of blows it for the whole film. My lawyer wife says that on the top of their being some unrealistic witness badgering and twists in the courtroom, the hollywoodization of the case forced them to concentrate on the issues of sexual promiscuity in the plaintiff rather than what the case was really about, sexual harrassment in the workpalce, and right when the movie should be brac ing up to make its point, it dives back into a flashback that has very little to do with what the story was about. I have to fully agree with her. I left the movie partially moved, but not nearly as much as I felt I should have been. There are changes of character than just happen, for no reason. There are big 'moments' that in the long run would mean nothing. And there are entire characters in the film that seeem to have nothing to do with the story it is trying to tell. So its clunky to summarize. And the real trial it is based on went for 10 years. It seems to me that the story created this central character to hang its theme on, and then they were kind of stuck with her, and it is in the third act where her story began to superceed that of the woman vs. mine, and became a referrendum on her teenage pregnancy. Yeah, its that far-removed. But that doesn't kill the moving completely. The performances are great, especially Sissy Spacek as Theron's mother (I could watch her read the phone book) and the ensemble of women at the mine, including Michelle Monaghan (fresh off the role of Harmony in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang) and Rusty Schwimmer as Big Betty. And the filming of the mine and the work done in it is world that you never get to see perfectly captured.

NORTH COUNTRY is recommended for women miners, people who want to catch the first two-thirds of a film, fans of Sissy Spacek, and anyone who ever thought their job was shit. Rick's Rathing: B.

Baby Bears Say Please Help Us

2005-11-15T16:04:00.000-06:00

Okay, so I am not a crazy environmental freak, but Herr President and his cronies have such a bad record on protecting out furry friends that I feel myself speaking up more and more. Today they have put forth a proposal to to delist the Grizzly Bear from the nation's endangered species list. They would like to 'upgrade' their status from endangered to threatened. On the surface, this would seem to be an item for celebration: since 1982, the number of Grizzly Bears in Yellowstone park has risen from the frightening 200 to about 600. But removing the Grizzly Bear from the endangered species list opens it up to a whole lot of, well, danger, such as the potential for Idaho, Wyoming, and Montana to legalize the hunting of the bears. Although the population would be tightly monitored for 5 years after the change, this would only cover the 6 million acres under the proposal, even though the Grizzly Bear's natural range is nearer to 9 million. One-third of the bears' current habitat could be opened to drilling, logging and human development under the agency's plan. Proponents of the delisting point to the recent revival sparking between elk hunters and bears. This is in part because the whitebark pine seeds grizzlies need are in shorter supply now from a beetle infestation induced by warming climate. OKAY WAIT - so we are supposed to let bears die in foavor of people who shoot animals for fun, because bears have go out looking for a seed closely linked to female bears ability to have children because we've fucked up the environment enough to cause climate change ?!?!?!? Does that seem fair? And who gives a shit about elk hunters. These people want to SHOOT BEARS. THat's what they want. Defenseless elk are not enough. They want to kill bears. And the reason the bear population dwinded in the first place was do to hunting and the destruction of habitat. Isn't that what Herr President is proposing again?

Grizzly Bears are considered a keystone species to an ecosystem, that means you can tell if the ecosystem is healthy by the number of bears that it can sustain. And just a reminder, Bear Attacks on humans are extremely rare. A person is 180 times more likely to be killed by a bee than a bear and 160,000 times more likely to die in a car accident.

If you love bears like I do, please check this blog for updates as the public will have 90 days to comment on the proposal and I will include links to where you can do that. If you want to help the bears right now, you can ADOPT-A-BEAR like Erin and I have. It only cost $25 and it will make a great christmas gift for someone who cares about their world.

It Can't Happen Here: GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD LUCK

2005-11-14T08:48:00.000-06:00

I have always thought that the McCarthy hearings would make a for a great movie. Unfortunately, GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD LUCK is not that movie. It's barely even a movie. The George Clooney directed film follows Edward R. Murrow as he decides to take on Senator Joe McCarthy with his weekly investigative news program. And that's basically the entire movie. Clooney relies on a lot of original source material (McCarthy only appears in actual footage from the program) to let the audience experience the story as the original television audience might have. It is an intersting tactic, but it hardly makes for entertaining cinema. There are giant chunks of the film that were essentially watching the original show and I couldn't help but think if I was watching the History Channel I might actually be able to just watch the original show. David Straitharn turns in a spotless portrayal of Murrow, what there is to the character. Clooney never bothers to let us inside the main character, we know nothing about him other than his show. Does he have a wife? Is he conflicted about taking on a senator? Is he a nice guy? We never know. And the only conflict in the film, McCarthy, doesn't actually appear in the film as a character. So what Clooney gives us is a pretty one sided account of a tv newsman who pursues a story and and puts it on. Yeah, that's exciting. Not to mention, historically, Murrow was not all that responsible for the end of McCarthy's reign. This is not Woodward and Bernstein taking down Nixon. Many people had already turned on McCarthy and began speaking out, in the Senate itself in fact. Murrow was just the first to put it on prime time. The movie looks great, filmed in black and white. The story itself is black and white too, and clocking in at 90 minutes, Clooney gives us no room for thought or investigation, i.e. why did people follow McCarthy, how did TV perpetuate him, etc. Not to mention all the time given over to rather bland jazz music performed in the CBS studio - a glaring inacuracy if there ever was one - the battle over live vs. recorded music had occured years earlier over the radio waves. So yeah, the movie is a little dull, and little heavy-handed. Not to say that McCarthy was doing a good thing, but if you are going to make such an overt comparison to the PATRIOT ACT, I would prefer if it was a little more subtle and less speechafying. GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD LUCK is getting a lot of Oscar buzz, which I hope is more for the content than the quality of the film. This is Clooney's second film, the first CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND was horribly flawed in its tone, so I can't but help think maybe George ought to stick to acting and producing.

GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD LUCK is recommended to history fans, people who want to see actors smoke like a case of cigarrettes over the course of the film, anyone who sided their house with alcoa aluminum, and well, I can't think of anyone else. Rick's Rating: C -

What's this on my Locker? THE SQUID AND THE WHALE

2005-11-11T08:30:00.000-06:00

What a great movie. Totally biased walking in as Noah Baumbach wrote and directed my favorite comedy of all time KICKING AND SCREAMING, and no, that's not the Will Ferrell soccer movie. Since then, Baumbach has managed one flawed gem MR. JEALOUSY, one just flawed HIGHBALL, and one screenplay for someone one else THE LIFE AQUATIC. THE SQUID AND THE WHALE is far simpler and more immediate than any of those projects, mostly because its ripped right out of Baumbach's own life. Who is the Squid and WHo is the Whale? He leaves those choices up to the audience as Walt and Frank must struggle the first couple months of their parents divorce. With sparking performances from every cast member, this movie really feels like it has oscar wings. And its limited release roll out has kept in peoples minds for much longer than a movie of this nature normally get. Jeff Daniels and Laura Linney play the parents, flawed to the core, but with the best intentions (for themselves) for their children, played by Jesse Eisenberg and Owen Kline, who both have their own way dealing with the divorce. Walt, the older child, wins a talent contest singing a song he wrote, which is really Pink Floyd's Hey You, and Frank, well, he gives up using tissues to dispose of, well, you know. Its funny, its honest, its uncomfortable and its far too short. At 81 minutes, just as I am fully invested in the film it ends. Its not as if it hasn't wrapped itself up, it has. Its not as if I felt like there was any thing missing, there isn't. But... I wanted more. It was too good to only give me 81 minutes. So that keeps it from being perfect, but its the only thing. THis movie is pure joy. A funny movie about one of the most serious issues that ever happen to a kid... Oh, did I mention the stand out performances of supporting actors William Baldwin as a Tennis Pro giving lessons to Frank and giving his mother, well, something else, and Anna Paquin as Daniel's student who moves in with him in his new bachelor pad.

THE SQUID AND THE WHALE is recommended to anyone whose parents got a diviorce or who ever thought they were going to, fans of sharp witty writing, people scouting oscars, and people who want catch a quick move. Rick's Rating: A-

Songs of Hope, Songs of Despair

2005-11-10T10:43:00.000-06:00

I have a lot on my mind this morning, too much in fact. Bits and pieces of news items that are tugging me this way and that way so I thought I had better put them down in one place. Without further freddie adu, here are some reason I am filled with hope.

1)Today the house struck part of energy bill that allowed for drilling in the Alaskan Wildlife Refuge. That means, maybe, the polar bears are safe once again. Oil Company Special Interest Groups have been pushing the republicans to open the Artic Preserves for their own profit for years now, despite the fact that there is no formidible knowledge about just how much oil is actually there. The Arctic Refuge's coastal tundra provides America's only land denning habitat for polar bears. According to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service biologists, between 1981 and 2000, 42 percent of the on-land polar bear dens were dug within the Arctic Refuge's Coastal Plain. Polar bears with newborn cubs are especially sensitive to human activity, and can be prematurely displaced from their winter dens by the noise, vibration, and human disturbance created by seismic oil exploration. Current seismic exploration methods require numerous vehicles to move in a tight grid pattern across the tundra, discharging explosives or creating shock waves with large "thumper trucks." Early den abandonment can be fatal to cubs unable to fend for themselves, withstand the winter temperatures, or travel with their mother. Then of course there is the "incidental take" permit apllied for and received from the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. Incidental take, in federal parlance, means to kill. The permit allowed oil companies working along the edge of the Beaufort Sea to harrass and kill polar bear and walrus in the course of their extraction and exploration activities. This permit expired in March, 2003, then was renewed until March 28, 2005. So essentially, people voting for drilling are ANTI-BABY POLAR BEAR. Special thanks to the wildlife.org website for much of the above info.

But today the house dropped the controversial oil drilling rider from the energy bill. 25 Republican Moderates, led by Charles Bass of New Hampshire, signed a letter to GOP leaders asking for the change in the much larger $54 billion budget cut bill. The senate budget included the measure, so the two versions will have to be reconciled before it goes into effect. YEAH POLAR BEARS!!!

2) Another reason I am full of hope is the recent appearance on several different talk shows by one SENATOR JOHN McCAIN. McCain, one of the sanest men left in the Republican party, appeared on Steven A. Smith's sports talk show QUITE FRANKLEY and on the comedy central fake news program THE DAILY SHOW. In both interviews he was humorous, personable and smart. He is behind the the steriod legislation making its way through the senate, and the anti-torture bill (which Chaney and Herr President didn't want passed). He is becoming a more outspoken critic of the current administration and must have mentioned Colin Powell three times on the Daily Show, along the lines of 'I've spoken with Colin about this and he is in complete agreement.' I know it is early, but I don't think I can hold back my excitement for a McCAIN-POWELL presidential bid... Two moderates, two war heros, two men who have been critical of the current administration (Even while he was a part of it, Powell always seemed to be the voice of reason). McCain has a new book out, character studies of historical heros, looks pretty interesting. And the fact that he has been on the Daily Show three times now and can hold his own with John Stewart... it bodes well for the future.

3). Why else am I full of hope? How about the fact that Scooter Libby appears to want to fight his indictment. The less he rolls over, the more information will come out, the more we might get to see what was really going on. And how depraved is this guy? Anyone read this book he wrote in 1996? “The young samurai‘s mother had the child sold to a brothel where she swept the floors and oiled the women. At age 10, the madame put the child in a cage with a bear trained to couple with young girls so the girls would be frigid and not fall in love with their patrons. They fed her through the bars and aroused the bear with a stick when it seemed to lose interest. Groups of men paid to watch. Like other girls who had been trained this way, she learned to handle many men in a single night and her skin turned a milky white.” WHAT?!?!?! And I'm worried about the polar bears. Yeah, this guy is going to exonerate the administration.

4) Oh, and maybe, just maybe Judicial Nominee Alito would not vote to overturn Roe v. Wade, but he makes no promises.

OKAY, REASONS TO DESPAIR......

1) This is almost painful to write about. But on Tuesday, 76% of the Texans who bothered to vote (which is something like 18%) voted for HATRED, DISCRIMINATION, and INTOLERANCE. That's right, Prop 2 another of these so-called defense of marriage acts passed in Texas on Tuesday. I am sick of this FUCKING STATE on its high horse thinking these god damn churchies sitting in their pews judging everyone else are somehow more MORAL then people who want nothing more to spend the rest of their lives in a COMMITTED and LOVING relationship. Which is more than I can say for most of these evangelical shits, who have some of the highest divorce rates in the country. Not to mention incidents of spousal abuse and alcoholism. Who are you to judge how a person should live their life? And this doesn't even get into the CONSTITUTION of America which guarantees equal right to everyone... If the gov't wants to have an institution such as marriage, it cannot arbitrarily withhold that designation from one group of people. It could as easily say that blondes should not marry blondes, they should only marry brunnettes. Or how about a law that says Evangelicals can only marry Jews. That's just as ridiculous. I am really really realy disappointed in this state. At least I live in the ONLY COUNTY that voted against the ban. But that's little consolation today. As the number of states in which I feel it is acceptable to live gets smaller, I can only hope that a massive plague will some day come to wipe out all the intolerant people who are out of step with progress. YOU DO NOT REPRESENT ME! In texas, you are 76% of of the 18% of the registered voters which are only 60% of the state (not including illegals or students registered in other states). What is that? THat's right, 8%. 8% of the entire state is a biggot. And they are deciding for the rest of us.

2) How do I follow that? I guess with two bits from Keith Obermann's COUNTDOWN that may have flown under your radar. You looking for more corruption in the administration? Anyone heard of Tamiflu? The supposed best defense if the bird flu breaks out? Herr President‘s new $7 billion bird flu plan calls for up to $1 billion to be spent buying Tamiflu. That‘s driven the stock price of Gilead Sciences, which makes Tamiflu, from $35 a share to $47 a share. Do you know who used to be the chairman of Gilead Sciences? Who, though he has recused himself from decisions involving it, still owns between $5 million and $25 million worth of the company. DONALD RUMSFELD. Or how about this for independence of the media. The Web Site Political Money Line posts congressional ethics documents that indicate that a month ago, just after his indictment, Tom DeLay accepted a free trip to reach a previously scheduled speaking engagement. The cost of a round trip ticket from Houston to Washington and night in a hotel, $13,995.55. And the compant that sponsored that speaking engagement and put up the money for DeLay to trek back, FOX News. $14,000 for a round trip airfare? I can go on priceline right now and get a cheaper rate to Yemen.

3) Okay one last bit of outrage. Here's a little 1984 for you. Do you realize that every page that comes out of your color printer is encoded with hidden information that the government could use to track it back to you? That's right, an article in PC World magazine pointed out that printouts from many color laser printers contained yellow dots scattered across the page, viewable only with a special kind of flashlight. The article quoted a senior researcher at Xerox Corp. as saying the dots contain information useful to law-enforcement authorities, a secret digital "license tag" for tracking down criminals. It was supposed to be a secret, but the Electronic Frontier Foundation, a San Francisco consumer privacy group, said it had cracked the code used in a widely used line of Xerox printers. The EFF said it has identified similar coding on pages printed from nearly every major printer manufacturer, including Hewlett-Packard, which makes my printer. And Seth Schoen, the EFF technologist who led the organization's research, said he had seen the coding on documents produced by printers that were at least 10 years old. The U.S. Secret Service acknowledged yesterday that the markings, which are not visible to the human eye, are there, but claims they are to track and prosecuting counterfeiters. As much as I beleive that intent, they are still INVADING MY PRIVACY. Schoen said that the existence of the encoded information could be a threat to people who live in repressive governments or those who have a legitimate need for privacy. It reminds him, he said, of a program the Soviet Union once had in place to record sample typewriter printouts in hopes of tracking the origins of underground, self-published literature. The original article which I have liberally copied and reposted her is available on the Washington Post.

Math Can Make You Cry: PROOF

2005-11-09T08:47:00.000-06:00

Everyone loves a good movie about mathematical proofs. Don't they? Anyone? Okay, so the topic is not the most exciting premise for a movie, but PROOF is not really about math. It is about the idea of proof, and whether you can really prove anything. Director John Madden (Shakespeare in Love) brings the 2001 Pulitzer Prize winning play to the screen, a story of the daughter of a math genius who in the wake of her father's death, reveals a new proof of her own devising that may or may not actually be hers. Playwright David Auburn does a good job transfering the story to the screen (with a cowriter), though it never quite shakes the pacing of a play. But there is a lot of thought in the film, and great performances, and dense dialogue that you rarely get in a studio initiated project. Paltrow reprises the role the she played in the Donmar Warehouse production in London for director Sam Mendes (not the director of this film), though apparently a few people felt that the origianl broadway actress Mary-Luise Parker should have gotten the role for the screen. I don't understand the issues people have with Paltrow. She has been one of my favorite actresses since the Pallbearer, and she tugs me emotionally like very few can. The rest of the cast is packed, Anthony Hopkins, Hope Davis, and Jake Gyllenhaal who seems to be in every movie that comes out these days, and all turn in great performances. In fact, there is very little wrong with PROOF, which is almost its problem. Its is a story of a messy chaotic groudbreaking proof, one that will change mathematics for ever, but the story and its cinematic expression is pretty standard. The girl cries, the boy looks strong and then doesn't trust her, the sister tries to run her life... its just a little too neat. For me, the highlight was seeing the University of Chicago on film and my old neighborhood. But if that was what I was looking at, you can't help but wonder why... And its the same problem these plays as movies always have - unless you drastically rethink it, it will always be a play and a play is not a movie. I don't need car chases or anything but... ANyway, its a great story and as permenent reflection of the story, it will be solid for years (I never saw the play, so if you didn't either, then do see the movie) because its a story that should be told. I enjoyed it, I even cried, I just couldn't help but feel sad that I was not watching it on Broadway or the West End where the same presentation would have had that much more power.

Proof is recommended for former mathletes, residents and former residents of Hyde Park, fans of Gwyneth, and ANYONE who didn't get to see the play. Rick's Rating: B+

Finally Beating the Patriots in Foxborough: Priceless

2005-11-08T11:51:00.000-06:00

I gotta give a shout out to my boy Peyton Manning who lead an onslaught on the defending super bowl champs on monday night football in the most anticipated game of the season. After dropping the first seven (7!!!) straight games to Patriots in New England over his career, Peyton finally grabbed the monkey off his back and slapped it silly, leading the 8-0 Colts to a 40-21 victory and throwing for 321 yards and 3 touchdowns. Peyton is one of the smartest active players in football, and with his audible play calling he probably has more responsibility on the field than any one else, so its always going to be his burden to make or break a game, and last night he looked like an MVP candidate. But he wasn't the only hero. Edgerrin James rushed for over a hundred yards and both Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne caught touchdowns passes and had over 100 yards receiving. Which is why the team finally beat the Pats in Patland - it may have been Peyton's monkey, but he has never had the support he has this year. And I haven't even mentioned the defense. That's right, the defense, which limited the Pats to 46 yards TOTAL rushing and several 3 downs and punt possessions. And the former super bowl studs fall to 4-4 and look questionable for a playoff appearance. I've been a Colts fan since my days in Bloomington getting my MFA and I've been waiting for this day for a while. And it's not that I hate the Patriots, I'm just sick of them. I can't imagine a duller end to two superbowls than they have given us. And Tom Brady with his smug interviews men's magazine covers... America's team is and always has been the Colts. Back in the days of Johnny Unitas and Baltimore they were rugged and steamrolled over their opponents. THese days are much the same, its just that the steamrollers are going 80 miles an hour and resulting in amazing feats like last year's 49 touchdown passes for Manning (a new record). The Colts have been my preseason pick to win the superbowl for the last three years and this year it looks like they may just have enough to do it. THey are just going to have to get past my other boy Big Ben Roethlisberger and the Steelers to do it... we'll see a little preview of that in three weeks from yesterday on another banner Monday Night Football match up.

In other football news - the Terrell Owens soap opera has been cancelled. Thank god. SHut him up please and if the media stopped covering every time he farted in public maybe he wouldn't have morphed into the egomaniacal monster that he has become. My advice to the Eagles would have been to keep him for the whole length of his contract and never play him but I guess that's a little much money for five years of nothing so they are going to release him at the end of the season and he'll have to find a new team to undermine and destroy. The Eagles look even more done than the Pats, unless they find another receiver to catch McNabb's bombs... hey, maybe they can trade for Randy Moss.

And how about a few props for the team of my youth, the Chicago Bears, or the baby bears as Michael Wilbon of PTI has been calling them (since he spent all last season referring to the Bulls as the baby bulls), sitting atop their division with lucky win after lucky win... Maybe they had to go to a training camp to give chicago an NFC North champ.

I almost don't even miss baseball (146 days till opening)... vote Johan for Cy Young! Trade Kyle and Liriano to the Yankees for Robinson Cano.

The Sound of Settling: SHOPGIRL

2005-11-07T09:23:00.000-06:00

One could make a pretty legitimate debate out of who is having a bigger career renaissance right now, Steve Martin or Bill Murray. The answer is certainly not Chevy Chase. After watching the excellent SHOPGIRL, I'd have to go with Martin, who wrote and starred in this character comedy about a LA sales clerk (Claire Danes) who must choose between the old rich guy who is emotionally unavailable (Martin) and the young clueless slob who is emotionally retarded (Jason Schwartzman in his best performance ever). Based on Martin's novella, SHOPGIRL is smart, funny and emotionally engaging. Every performance sparkles and the director lets the scenes take the time they need to breath. My favorite moment in the movie is Martin's visit to Dane's tiny apartment. As she leaves to get 'wine' which is obviously so old it smells like vinegar, Martin has to sit on a futon in couch form, and anyone who has a little bit of a belly know how unflattering that is. He negotiates his posture for few seconds, and then a few seconds more. It is moment of brillance that captures the whole character, it's completely visual and cinematic, and is completely the result of the LOST IN TRANSLATION effect. Filmmakers feel free to let their stories breath, to sit and to grow. A good character based film is not a rush from scene to scene. It takes as long as it needs to. Remember all those scenes in BROKEN FLOWERS when Bill Murray just drives his car? And isn't it interesting I've listed to Murray movies after positing my debate question. Bill Murray may be getting the best roles of his career, but Steve Martin is writing them. He is making his own work. I think its only a matter of time before he begins directing as well.

The director of SHOPGIRL, Anand Tucker, is a unknown brit (HILLARY AND JACKIE his only other major credit), and he described the film as a classic Romance like the days of old. And though the movie feels well-directed, he really has a major misconception with what it is about. This is a movie about settiling. There is nothing less romantic than that. And its not a comfortable subject. It hurts to watch people lower expectations and just get by. But its what actually happens. And that is why the music Tucker chose for the film is so off. Lush strings, like the movies of old, lifting the characters up. Its really hokey. Not to mention dull, the same six notes over and over, until I'm begging for some Steve Reich (review for Dying Gaul upcoming). Anyway, it would be a minor problem with the film, if it wasn't so loud and constant... as it is now, the music really undercuts the tone and success of the film. Fortunately, this occcurs mostly during transitions, so you can tune it out a bit and focus on the imagery, which is always successful.

But the performances alone are worth going for (have to make a brief shout out here for supporting actress Bridgette Wilson-Sampras, the once 1st grade teacher in Billy Madison, who seems to have finally found her stride as a comic flusie ... and I guess she married Pete Sampras somewhere along the line). And the writing is amazing. SHOPGIRL is recommended for fans of Steve Martin, people who wish there was a My So Called Life after College, anyone who has ever worked retail, and anyone who goes through life passively (isn't that us all every once in a while). Rick's Rating: B+

Where there's a Bunch of Crazy Fans, there's a Way: SERENITY

2005-10-25T08:43:00.000-05:00

A couple years ago there was a show on Fox called FIREFLY. Despite being the latest project by the emmy award winning creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly's episodes were shown out of order and on unpredictable days of the week, and the show was cancelled after only 11 of the 14 episodes aired. But the rabid fans mobilized and got FOX to release the series on DVD and then, based on sales and internet presence, universal decided to make a movie based on the failed TV series. THis history lesson is mentioned just to get you acclimated with where SERENITY comes from, a story that is based on FIREFLY, but stands alone. I never saw Firefly. I hadn't even heard about the series until it had been off the air for a year. And I never watched Buffy. I try not to watch things where the fans plan their weekly schedule around the episodes and are inspired to write fan fiction in which certain characters fall in love with each other... whatever. THis seems more prominent in Sci-Fi. And despite the fact that Star Trek the Next Generation was the one show my entire family could agree on growing up, when I went out into the real world, I found these die hard fans, well, rather frightening. There was a special interest house at Carleton College organized around watching science fiction, They referred to it as BORG house. I still have never seen an episode of X-Files, despite the fact that I dated a girl (for like 2 weeks) in college who died and cut her hair specifically to look like Scully. And I have on ly recently come to terms with one of my best friends being someone who regularly goes to Star Wars conferences (at least he doesn't dress up). I don't know what it is about Sci-Fi that creates this allegiance. And Buffy fans are the worst. It seems that as soon as one Buffy fan discovers another, they must go into their little buffy world and discuss favorite episodes, which DVD features are their favorite, the cancellation of Angel, and eventually break into those really awful 'songs' from the so-called 'musical' episode.

But that being said, SERENITY was a really great movie. Not only did I not feel like I was missing out not having watched the series, I am now anxious to buy it on DVD and watch it. There were onle or two hokey dialogue moments in the third scene (the first on the starship Serenity, a firefly class (see where te names came from ?)) that felt out ofTV and out of place in a movie, as soon as we got through that, the movie was pure sci-fi glory. The universe writer/director Joss Whedon has created (his feature debut) is very complete, it has tons of history, but he never bored us with it, and everything we found out as the story progressed, I felt like it had been perfectly planted earlier. The story follows a rag tag group of space pirates led by captain Mal Reynolds (Nathan Fillion) who is not unlike a Han Solo type. Their passenger River (Summer Glau), an esapee from a government program for telepaths, is a one-woman wrecking crew. The government has sent an assassin after her to eliminate the knowledge buried in her mind. It's a great story and its easy to cheer for the pirates who unfortunately have a conscience and decide to protect River. Not to mention there is a strong brother-sister bond (River's brother broke her out of the government institution) that hit me hard, as I have a little sister. Actually, every relationship in this movie is well-drawn. Whedon has learned a lot from his time in television, creatin really full characters and managing to tell us almost everything we need to know about them in a few minutes (obviously distilling the series down) and then building from there.

It is Sci-Fi so I would be reluctant to not talk about the visual elements. Whedon's universe helps him a bit as there are no aliens (other than the creepy cannibal human Reavers, if you can consider them that). But there are ships and battles and cities and they all look great. THe effects were done by the same studio that's been working on the new Battlestar Galactica series (which I must admit addiction to... oh, did I fail to mention that before - in my defense, however, it is my wife who travels more to the sci-fi channel website). Its only 500 years into the future, so there are guns, and knives, and the clothing looks fairly recognizable but that becomes an asset here. The design has a real unity and completeness (of course, it has the benefit of a three year preparation that few movies have).

The movie is funny and action packed and probably most comparable to, should I say it, STAR WARS. SERENITY is recommended for all fans of science-fiction, people who love ensemble-based films, anyone who likes to see Fox kick themselves in the ass, and people who generally don't like science fiction because "they're all full of aliens and stuff." Rick's Rating: A.

My Children Will Be Handcuffed to Me At All Times: FLIGHTPLAN

2005-10-21T08:35:00.000-05:00

Number one movie in the america for two weeks, so I figured I ought to see it. Not to mention people were boycotting it, which is a surefire way to get me interested in going. FLIGHTPLAN stars Jodie Foster (in a role originally written for a man) as a movie flying her husband's coffin back to america who falls a sleep and has her daughter stolen from her - though no one on the plane even remembers her being there. Its a solid film, though I can't help but compare it to the near perfect RED EYE. Unlike that film, where everything is planted and paid off, this screenplay by Billy Ray (Suspect Zero, the excellent Shattered Glass) is full of red herrings, like the always excellent Erika Christenson making a comment about always finding her nieces and nephews in hide and seek, and then not finding anyone in this movie - in fact not even really being used in the movie, so much so that you are like, why did she take that part? Or several nearby passengers who end up not being involved in the storyline, despite several appearances on screen early. Then there is captain borimir (Sean Bean) who does very little in the story at all and could have been anybody. And then there's Jodie Foster, who I quite like, in anything. And I especially like to see her kick ass. Like a good action star. And she does that quite well. But Steven Segall never won the academy award for his acting and Foster just doesn't have enough to work with to really make a full character. But since no one else is doing that either, its not really that much of a fault. The finest performance is turned in by the always morally questionable Peter Sarsgaard (didn't I just say that - by the way, Peter Sarsgaard is not related to Stellen Scarsgaard- and William and John Hurt are not brothers - just figured that out). Sarsgaard plays the air marshall who doesn't believe Foster really had a daughter and then, well, I don't want to ruin it. Anyway, he's quite good.

You know, it's not a bad movie, but it's not a great movie. There are so many things that could have been improved, and each step of the movie proceeded so slowly, I was always a step ahead (I knew where the girl was about five minutes into the search - and you will too). And then there is the trailer, which basically gave away most of the movie. The best moment of the whole movie probab ly would have been the shot in the trailer where the Jodie breathes on the window and sees where her daughter drew a little heart with her finger. But it was ruined. Because I saw it. In every preview. And I kept waiting for it to happen. There are so many movies that are crippled by a show-all trailer - I really wish they would figure out that less is more. That's why teasers are almost universally more exciting than trailers. Anyone remember the teaser for Godzilla (bad movie, great trailer). I am glad they changed the character to a female - I think it added an emotional aspect that would not have been present otherwise. And also made the story a lot more believable as far as people pushing her around.

FLIGHTPLAN is recommended for fans of Jodie Foster, people who see any movie that's set in an airplane, people anxious for another morally questionable role from Peter Sarsgaard, and those of you with a closet stewardess fetish. Rick's Rating: B

You Remind Me of the Film (What Film?): MIRRORMASK

2005-10-20T08:19:00.000-05:00

This is the most gorgeous film you will see this year. It stretches its measely budget to epic proportions and is so full of ideas and freshness that it is almost unbelievable that everyone in the world is not talking about this film like the did of say Moulin Rouge. The movie is MIRRORMASK and it comes from the minds of Neil Gaiman (screenwriter) and Dave McKeon (director, design) who the astute pop culture student will know form the SANDMAN comics and several graphic novels. I first came into contact with McKeon's artwork in illustrations for Stephan King's DARK TOWER series and have been dying to see him get into film since. And I was not disappointed. This is the most amazing looking film I've seen in years. Locations, creatures, film styles, costumes, make up design, if this doesn't get a nomination for every visual academy award then I don't know what's wrong. It is breathtaking.

The story is hard to explain. A young circus performer enters a fantastical world divided into the kingdoms of light and darkness, where the balance has been altered. She must hunt down a charm to right the land. But really its about a girl growing up and making piece with her mother. Most of the characters double from her real life in the fantasy world (kind of like Wizard of Oz) and the whole fantasy sequence plays out like a metaphor... only its real ... or is it? Which is part of the genius of the movie - you are never really sure if it's all in her head or if is actually happening. Tonally, the nearest comparison I can make is Labyrinth, the mid-eighties jim henson-david bowie spectacular. It has some of the look (though obviously aged 20 years) and feel but it is a children's movie. Mirrormask, although it would appeal to kids, is certainly only going to be fully appreciated by adults. There are also no musical numbers. Or actors of any stature. So the comparison, though apt, only prepares you for what you will see, not what you will experience.

The cast, a group of unknowns (unless you consider the role of "Tommy Ryan" in Titanic memorable - do you even remember Tommy Ryan? Yeah I thought not) give adequate performances - they kind of hit one-note throughout and hold it. It's an effective note, but this is not the place to search for future oscar winners. I also have to go right and blame the director, who probably does not the experience of working with actors to get varied performances out of them. In fact, I'd have to say this would probably be a better movie if the two artists had gotten a third one to direct it and just focused on story and design. But that is only a minor knock against this movie, actually. Its like the recent Star Wars movies - no one went expecting great performances or directing. You went to SEE it and watch the STORY. And MIRRORMASK satisfies in every way on that.

MIRRORMASK is recommended for fans of the DARK CRYSTAL, anyone interested in visual art/design, anyone who ever wanted to run off and join the circus and people who want more out of their movies than just to laugh. Rick's Rating" A-

The Idiot Box Draws Me Back In

2005-10-19T09:12:00.000-05:00

So I've been watching more and more television and it seems to me in this age of reality shows and carbon copy crime dramas, the writing has gotten millions better in the other shows, in order to get through. Now, this is the same person who went 4 years without cable because there was nothing worth watching who is now got a regular regimen of shows DVRing. Yes the miracle solution is DVR (Or TIVO) - you don't have to remember to record these shows, go searching for a tape, label a tape or watch commercials (or the 'boring parts' as the Tivo commercials go). So I thought I would let you in on what I've been watching lately, in the name of keeping good programs on (and letting shows like the SIMPLE LIFE go off the air).

Tonight is the season debut of the brilliant comedy central reality show parody DRAWN TOGETHER. The show follows eight different style cartoon characters (a superhero, a disneyesque princess, an video game elf like creature, a josie and the pussy cat type hottie, an internet download, a ren-like non-sequitor, a 1920's black and white booplike character, and a pokemon type creature) all stuck in a house together and forced to talk to the 'producer' through the p.a. system. Its a hilarious show that goes where you would never expect (first season highlights include a full-on disney ballad by Princess Clara about her first lesbian experience "Some Black Chick's Tongue in My Mouth," the entire house getting addicted to licking Ling-Ling because he secretes some acid like substance when they make him sad, and the apperance of Bucky Bucks, and DOnald Trump character, to take them through a series of challenges for a job that he doesn't have (i.e. Apprentice meets Joe Millionaire).

Another hilarious show is NBC's THE OFFICE. Based on the hit BBC show, it is shot documentry style with interviews and little snippets of office life caught on camera. Now I know there are a lot of people who will want to swear by the original, but they are just wrong. THe US version is much better, first of all the ensemble is much more balanced and we are really getting to know everyone in the office. Second of all, Steve Carrill (40 Year Old Virgin) is a hilarious in a way the Ricky Gervis is not, as I think he is completely incompetent, but I still feel sorry for him. He is at heart a nice guy, not an ego-maniac. The Office has tackled such common issues as Diversity Training, Office Parties, and someone getting fired, almost at random. It's hilarious and the relationship between Pam and Jim is so cute... yes, I'm boy and I just said that. You'll have to watch it to understand.

To switch genres, I must admit that Erin and I were both outraged when the new 'season' of Battlestar Galactica turned out to only be 10 episodes, so we have to wait until January for more, but it looks like ABC's INVASION is going to fill in nicely. THis is one creepy show and it it is lead by another one of those actors I can never trust, William "It's confederated products, its an entirely different product" Fichtner (Perfect Storm, Black Hawk Down, Go) as the local sherif who may or may not actually be an ALIEN. The rest of the cast is also great (including the Broken Flowers' Lolita Alexis Dziena) and the story in unshakeable. Really sharp and creepy. And brought to you by Shaun Cassidy. Yeah that Shaun Cassidy. Strange, huh?

And then there is my daily standby for sports ESPN's PARDON THE INTERUPTION. If you've never watched the afternoon show, you are really missing out. Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon argue through the top sports headlines, dress up as cops for good cop/bad cop, use cut-out heads on sticks for role play and interview great athletes and journalists. Its really all the sports you need in a half an hour, and they are really entertaining. The show is so good they've incorporated it into sportscenter for a few minutes everday and almost every one of the ESPN team has made a guest appearance (Dan Lebatard is the best guest host IMO).

And while we are on news, I have to give a shout out to my new favorite news program. Now I love The Daily Show as much as the next out-raged anti-Bushie, but sometimes, I do want a little actual news with my laughter. THe solution is COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN. Olbermann was the ESPN new anchor 1992-97 and has been doing this show on MSNBC for the last two years in which he looks at the top stories of the day in order and does actual news. In between he has segments like 'worst person alive,' the story 'my producers made me cover' and 'Oddball' - sort of a news of the weird on TV. He's really funny and he pulls no punches. When he does the 'real' stories he always pushes them places that other people just don't go. Because he looks at news as a common man would. He's not a political pundit, he's a guy who interviewed Dennis DeYoung of Styx on Monday becasue he was the only 'famous' white sox fan he could find. And he hates Bill O'Reilly, so that's gotta be worth something. Give it a try.

Don't Open Closed Doors, Duh: THE SKELETON KEY

2005-10-18T08:46:00.000-05:00

Before you say anything, I had to see this movie. I have a screenplay, 9 drafts of one actually, a ghost story set in Louisiana with a voodoo influence. So figured I oughtta see THE SKELETON KEY, a movie about hospice worker (Kate Hudson) who helps a superstitious woman (Gena Rowlands) care for her dying husband (John Hurt). WHile there, she goes through doors that she's not supposed to and unravels a voodoo plot. Its kind of prepostorous but it is solidly acted throughout. Hudson is almost too cute for the role - I never really believed that she was strong enough to take on these powers. And John Hurt spends most of the movie babbling incoherently. The best performance, actually, is given by family estate lawyer Peter Sarsgaard who manages to excel in yet another morally questionable role. He's like James Cromwell for me - you can't trust him. Anyway, the setting is great, the locations manager should be commended - Louisiana just looks creepy. The screenplay is only so so. There is some dialogue that is plain embarrassing and some plot points that are never questioned and just accepted. The story is actually about hoodoo and not voodoo (a fine distinction) and there is entirely too much time spent on the intricacies of the belief system. The director falls back on several cat-jumps-out-of-closet type scares rather anything truly frightening. Also too much of Kate Hudson on her own. I don't think she is strong enough to carry so much screen time where she is alone and just doing things. She is at her best in dialogue. But this movie is short on that, and what there is of it, is not really the stuff great movies are made of. In general, THE SKELETON KEY is more the idea of a movie rather than the movie itself. And I hope it will be little remembered by the time someone is reading my screenplay.

The Skeleton Key is recommended for people who like scary movies, any scary movies, i.e. people who paid to see Bride of Chucky, anyone who's been considering living with superstitious elderly people in the Louisiana bayou, people who can't get enough of Kate Hudson's ever excited nipples, and people who wander confusedly into the theater and stumble into any doorway. Rick's Rating: C+

South Siders Suceed

2005-10-17T08:53:00.000-05:00

Congrats to the Chicago White Sox, team of my youth, and proud American League Central Rival. Back when I was in junior high we got free white sox tickets for straight a's and perfect attendance - I had to get my straight a's (perfect attendance was never an option). But the funny thing in retrospect is that they basically did have to give tickets away to get people to the game. The white sox have always been the poor stepchild of CHicago sports... and its about time they get respect. Every ten years or so they get it together and make a run, this year's squad has something that those earlier teams didn't have - veterans from those earlier runs. Joey COra at the third base from the early nineties and manager Ozzie Guillen and bench coad Harold Baines from the eighties. And the WHite SOx are in the world series for the first time since 1959.

I am totally biased, but I have to give credit where its due. Everyone can't stop talking about chicago's pitching, but you have to notice that all those starting pitchers (that all just threw complete games) were in CHicago last year. Did they all just get magically better? How did that happen? The catcher's name is A.J. Pierzynski. Before he called the best series in american league championship history from behind the plate, A.J. was the starting catcher for the MInnesota Twins and chicago fans hated him. He always hit well in Comiskey, and guided hacks like Kyle Lohse to shut out the WHite Sox. THen, fast forward two years later and he finds himself a white sox. And in the middle of every controversy in the playoffs. WHy does that happen? Because he never quits. He runs out every out, argues every call and plays like its the most important ame of his life. And he is the unsung hero of this squad (although I have to say that I've heard Ozzie Guillen give him a lot of credit).

So congratulations Chicago White Sox, and A.J. Good luck in the World Series, where the White Sox haven't won since 1917 - a drought two years longer than last year's much celebrated Red Sox.

Coffee and a Side of Shotgun: A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE

2005-10-14T09:08:00.000-05:00

You can forgive me for waiting for something to crawl out of Viggo Mortenson's skull at the end of A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE, but it is a David Cronenberg film (Naked Lunch, Scanners, Shivers, eXistenZ) and I kept expecting it to be weirder (more disgusting) than it was. But actually, it is just a quality thriller that once again examines the nature versus nurture question. Mortenson, in his first star turn, plays small town cafe owner Tom Stall, who, in a moment of confrontation with hoodlums, goes balistic in a surprise fit of violence not seen since Geena Davis in LONG KISS GOODNIGHT. When the story makes the national news, thugs from distant states begin to poke their noses around town looking for one Joey Cusack, and convinced that Mortenson is him.

Viggo is so good in the movie, playing a roller coaster of emotions, that he demands a serious look for the lead oscar nomination. Ed Harris plays the main thug, and is creepy in a way that only Ed Harris can be. And Mario Bello plays Mortenson's wife, mother of two, and small town lawyer. It is one of the strongest written female characters in a movie the last five years. And she shines. Again, look for oscar buzz. And then comes the third act, which is basically stolen by William Hurt as a mafia kingpin. One of the things that is great about this movie is that just when you've got it figured out, and you think it is tying up, it keeps going and finds an entirely new tone. And it is here that Hurt takes over, putting a comic last chapter on the end of a serious movie. If he doesn't get a supporting actor nomination for an Oscar, he's been robbed.

Yeah, it's that solid of a movie. Cronenberg (like a few other directors before him) has learned his trade in the world of horror and suspense, and it makes a surprisingly easy transition into drama. I wouldn't be surprised if HE got a directing nomination (Hollywood loves to welcome those B movie makers who make good). So I guess you can tell I liked this movie. It is rare that a movie manages to be so 'conventional' but continually surprises. Or that you get true depth in every character on the screen. Or that you have sex scenes that are actually hot. (I actually really dislike sex scenes in movies, they rarely feel necessary to tell the story). Or has sharp tight writing (the screenplay is based on a graphic novel) that always forwards the story without being machine-like.

A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE is recommended for readers of Rousseau, people who still feel dirty from Crash (Cronenberg's movie, not the recent one), anyone tired of all mafia bosses acting like al pachino, and anyone who's ever considered shucking it all and moving to Indiana (unless it's for grad school). Rick's Rating: A

Yes (beat) I think that. (pause) I do think that (beat) What do you think?

2005-10-13T09:18:00.000-05:00

Jerry: Well...
Emma: How are you?
Jerry: All right.
Emma: You look well.
Jerry: Well, I'm not all that well, really.
Emma: Why? What's the matter?
Jerry: Hangover. (raises his glass) Cheers. (drinks) How are you?
Emma: I'm fine. (looks round the bar, back at him) Just like old times.
Jerry: Mmn. It's been a long time.
Emma: Yes. (pause) I thought of you the other day.
Jerry: Good god. Why? (laughs) Why?
Emma: Well, it's nice, sometimes, to think back. Isn't it?
Jerry: Absolutely. (pause) How's everything?
Emma: Oh, not too bad. (pause) Do you know how long it is since we met?

It's dialogue like that that has driven audiences (and directors and actors) mad for years. And for good reason. Harold Pinter stripped the theatre of the artifices of language it had built up over the years and returned it to the way people actually talked. He gives artists so little to work with, and yet so much. His plays can be interpreted countless ways, and performances seldom answer all the questions. He is the most influential playwright of the second half of the twentieth century (playwrights like David Mamet, Carol Churchill and Patrick Marber (Closer) have acknowledged his influence) and today he was awarded the NOBEL PRIZE in literature. Pinter has been a favorite of mine since I first saw his work performed (at Carleton College in 1994). I consider him an influence on my writing and even more so on my directing. His attention to details such as punctuation and stage direction opened my eyes to clues you can find, use or ignore in a script. And then there is the discussion of the difference between a beat, a pause and a silence.

Pinter's first play (The Room) debuted in 1957, when he was 27 and shook the foundations of the theatre world. This original review shows exactly how fully formed the pinteresque style arrived into the world: "It is a brief excursion, in a slum room, into the nightmare world of insecurity and uncertainty. It has touches of Ionesco and echoes of Beckett; and somewhere not far distant is the disturbing ghost of that Henry James who turned the screw. What exactly the plot is, where the elusive landlord really lived, who are the unexplained couple seeking lodgings, why the lorry-driver husband is so long mute, what it the parentage of the woman who clings so desperately to shabby respectability, are questions that do not admit of precise solutions. They do not need to. " WHAT??? And all his plays are like that. He defies explanation and simple solutions. His plays have been performed by Donald Pleasance, Vivienne Merchant, Ian Holm, Terrence Rigby, Peggy Ashcroft, Michael Gambon, Judi Dench, Miranda Richardson, Steven Rea, Jason Robards, Blythe Danner, Liev Schrieber, Jean Stapleton, Raul Julia, Roy Schnieder, Juilette Binoche, John Gielgood, Ralph Richardson, Christopher Plummer, Julia Ormond, Anthony Hopkins, Ian Hart, Pete Postlethwaite, John Hurt, Colin Firth and directed by Sir Peter Hall, Trevor Nunn, and Pinter himself. Pinter has also written screenplays (such as The French Lieutenant's Woman) and acted (most recently in Mansfield Park and The Tailor of Panama).

"Pinter restored theater to its basic elements: an enclosed space and unpredictable dialogue where people are at the mercy of each other and pretense crumbles," the academy said on their website. The nobel prize come with a 10 million swedish crown prize (about 1.25 million dollars). His last play (Rembrance of Things Past, based on the Proust novel) was written in 2000 (I had the good fortune to see it at the National Theatre in London). Recently he has been focusing on poetry and on politics - he has been a very outspoken critic of British Prime Minister Tony Blair and of Britian's involvement in the war in Iraq. In a recent forum of writers on the war in Iraq he opened his statement with the line "Freedom, democracy and liberation. These terms, as enunciated by Bush and Blair essentially mean death, destruction and chaos." He considers them both terrorists and suggests they should go on trial as war criminals. Whatever you think of his politics, his skill as a theatre artist cannot be denied. He had won every other award given and this prize will sit rightfully on his shelf.

Let Me Roll It: ROLL BOUNCE

2005-10-11T11:40:00.000-05:00

THIS IS MY 50th POST !!! Congrats to me ... think of all the time I've wasted. I've actually quit that job I had when I started, and I should have the final draft of the screenplay (about the guy who blogs) entered into my cmputer today. This blog has taken me across the country, let me track my movie viewing 9god I see a lot) and let me air opinions that offend my family :). So, to carry on...

It would probably take an awful lot to get me in the movie theatre to watch a film about roller skating, but ROLL BOUNCE had one sure fire thing going for it. It was FILMED at the ROLLER RINK I WENT TO IN JUNIOR HIGH!!! That's right, good old Lynwood Sport Center makes it feature film debut as Sweetwater Roller Rink, home of the Skate championships of the summer of 1978. Now, I'm no Rink Rat like some of my friends, but I did spend several evenings and days off there ... including a date with a girl that my father and I picked up from a trailer park ... can't even remember her name now... but enough about my exploits as a thirteen year old.

ROLL BOUNCE is a funny and touching coming of age story about a group of teens growing up on Chicago's south side who's main passion is roller skating. When their local rink closes, they have to traipse up north to the fancy rink where they get showed up by the local superstars. They have to compete in a dance like challenge to save their face as their leader X (Bow Wow, 'lil no more) rebuilds his relationship with his father after his mothers death. Its a hell of a story, with great moments of comedy and drama intertwined throughout. The ensemble cast is well-utilized and everyone gets their little moment to shine. Especially good is Chi McBride as Xavier's father and Jurnee Smollett as Tori, X's quick tongued neighbor who goes from brace face to hottie during the course of the movie (I have similar memories of my friends back in my life as a thirteen year old at the roller rink).

The movie has one of the best soundtracks in recent memory, perfectly capturing the mood of the time. And it is really well paced. It just flew by ... until the end sequence where we have to watch several roller skate routines (5 actually) - which were all good, but as they each were a whole song long, it made the end a little tedious. At least I was really invested in the story at the time, so I enjoyed it, but I couldn't help but think there could have been a better way to do that. Its a minor point though, a ROLL BOUNCE is an easy recommendation.

ROLL BOUNCE is recommended for 13 year olds, people who actually remember roller skating when they were thirteen years old, fans of soul/funk of the 70's, and anyone who wants a non-offensive non-violent movie that's not animated. Rick's Rating: A-

'Solitary Man' performs with massive band

2005-10-10T09:36:00.000-05:00

Last night I had the great priviledge of watching a true entertainer hawk his craft in front of a PACKED HOUSE (that's right, packed) at the SBC center. How often do you get to see someone with 12 top ten hits (38 top 40's) whose chart success actually ranks him the #19 artist of all time. That man is NEIL DIAMOND. He rolled into San Antonio with his 14 member backing band (many of them who have been with him for 30 years) and the most elaborate lighting and hydraulic stage system I've ever seen and rocked that house. He opened the show with "Crunchy Granola Suite" and closed with "Brother Love's Travelling Salvation Show," two songs immortallized by his HOT AUGUST NIGHT live albums back in the seventies that still sound amazing with the almost big band treatment. In between he pleased the part-geriatric, part-hip swinger crowd with old favorites like "Cherry, Cherry," "Thank the Lord For the Nighttime," "Kentucky Woman" and "Sweet Caroline," which the crowd was very happy to sing along with the horn section. He tapped into his extensive catalog for more obscure tracks like "Shilo," the African influenced "Soolaimon," the late seventies almost disconess of "Desiree" and "Be" from the movie JONATHAN LIVINGSTON SEAGAL. A personal favorite was "America" from the 1980 film THE JAZZ SINGER, preceeded by the schlocky ballad "Love on the Rocks." Neil also brought it down a little with a number of ballads like "Play Me," "You Don't Bring Me Flowers," and the lyrical atrocity "I Am...I Said" Two of the highlights were songs he wrote but certainly didn't make famous: the big Monkees hit "I'm a Believer" and "Red Red Wine" which he even reggae'ed up and mocked UB40's number one hit song with new lyrics that amounted to 'it's nice to make money of them anyway.' His penultimate song, "Cracklin' Rosie" inspired much audience sing along Neil knows how to play to his crowd and it was great to see he could still 'shake it.' While I am sure he could do very well in Vegas, it's nice to see he doesn't have to. He played 2 and half hours and still missed several popular songs (such as "Solitary Man," "Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon," and the number one hit "Song Sung Blue" - oh and "Heartlight" from the E.T. soundtrack). Great show, if you have a chance to see him, don't miss it.

Of Meercats and Men: JUNEBUG

2005-10-07T08:29:00.000-05:00

Every few years or so a movie comes out of Sundance that the distributers are so excited about, it gets full release treatment, months of trailers and fullscale openings in simultaneous cities. This year the movie was Phil Morrison's directorial debut, JUNEBUG. Compared to Woody Allen and Jim Jarmusch, Morrison's work is character focused, with lots of time to get to know our screen friends, and countless environmental shots (some of the most effective are soundless still shots of the rooms in the house). The story follows Chicago art gallery owner Madeline (Embeth Davidtz) on her first visit to the rural North Carolina hometown her husband George (Alessandro Nivola). Although the reason is to sign an untrained painter of inspired civil war battle scenes, the end result is a culture clash with her husband of six month's family. The mother is stand-offish and judgemental, the father is passive and silent and the brother absolutely hates George (and his own life).

The characters are indeed full, the cinematography moving, and it feels like a sundance film, but in the end, I couldn't help but be a little disappointed. The people failed me. They were completely real, but thoroughly unlikeable. Its a slice of life movie, but this slice is not particularly enjoyable to eat. I was impatient for the movie to end ... and since the director never really decided whose story it was, it really could have ended at any point. Almost no one in the movie learns anything, or grows... and, well, I may just be a little biased against backwoods hicks. I don't understand people whose lives revolve around their community church and who don't know the difference between Arts and Crafts. I guess I am a little culturally elitist, and this movie has been described as a red state-blue state conflict ... but I still blame the director. He took the easy way out with the script and just filmed moment to moment without ever thinking of the big picture and 'the message' of the movie, if there ever was one, gets lost in the details.

The lone highlight in the film is the performance of Amy Adams, who plays George's brother's fiance, very pregnant and very talkative. The one person living in the house who really makes an effort with the new guest, she is a revelation and brought a smile to my face whenever she was on screen. Her performance is so good, her story became the only one I cared about (in fact there is a bit with a television show about meercats that is best 2 minutes of the movie). And the movie is worth seeing for her alone. But you know what, you should see it anyway because you might not suffer from the same prejudices as I do, and might really enjoy it - certainly there are so many critics falling over themselves to praise it, it might just be one of those movies for me that I just don't agree with other people on (like Far from Heaven and Beautiful Mind).

JUNEBUG is recommended for fans of intense character driven movies, people scouting next year's supporting actress oscar, and people curious how the other (obviously more than half) lives. Rick's Rating: B.

Herr President Nominates Crony For Yet Another Post

2005-10-05T10:25:00.000-05:00

As if Michael Brown's lack of training to run FEMA hadn't by far been proven a mistake on the White House's part, Herr President went ahead and put up another completely unprepared person for a major post. This time the job is the highest court in the land, and the nominee, HARRIET MIERS, has never served as a judge. Has she maybe judged an Arabian Horse show? We don't know. But she has been in the White House since 2001, which means she must either a) hold all of Bush's views or b) not speak up about it too much. Neither is much of a choice for the Supreme Court.

In a strange development, the loudest complaints to Miers' nomination have been from people like Pat Buchanon and Rush Limbaugh. They are worried that she might not be conservative enough. The big problem with nominating someone with no judicial record is that there is no paper trail and thus no way to really figure out a) where she stands and b) if she knows how to be a judge. This is all part of Herr President's plan. He actually said to reporters yesterday he thought IT WAS IMPORTANT that there not be a paper trail so no one would know how she stands. Instead, we are supposed to trust him. "I've known Harriet for more than a decade. I know her heart," he said of his fellow Texan. "I'm confident that Harriet Miers will add to the wisdom and character of the judiciary." So what are the conservative pundits fussing for? Honestly, I think it's a big head fake. If these people are worried, then the democrats might be more inclined to not fight the nomination...

Meanwhile, no one seems to notice that Miers has made donations to pro-life organizations and is a member of an evangelical church. But the issues can be deceiving, especially when you have almost nothing to go on (I can also point out that she told a gay rights group, via survey, that she believed gay men and lesbians should have the same civil rights as straight Americans, but that she opposed repeal of the state's sodomy law criminalizing same-sex sexual conduct). These are also things that happened in the late eighties, when I might add, Miers was a Democrat (she even gave money to the Al Gore Campaign in 1988).

That's why I find myself siding with Rush Limbaugh this morning (I haven't said that since I was in high school) - it would be better if she had some judicial record so we knew what we were getting. But in my heart, I feel that anyone Herr President is THAT confident about, can't be someone I want. But wouldn't be better if it was someone with some experience? Who had tested their opinions and shown they could JUDGE what was right? Who hadn't been in the WHite House for the last 4 years and therefore not another CRONY? I'm tired of cronyism. It's bad for America. I was against it when Clinton did, I am against it When the current administration does it, and I probably would have been against if I had been alive back when Kennedy did it. It's not the way to get the best people to do the important jobs. How can it be?

Herr President, you've failed again. How long must we live under the tyranny of your poor choices?

Never Travel Alone: RED EYE

2005-10-04T08:43:00.000-05:00

Director Wes Craven knows what he is doing. I sat back during the first 25 minutes of RED EYE and just watched for clues. It is amazing, if you watch close enough, you get all the details you will need for the rest of the movie, you only need to wait for them to be paid off. Like a photo on the table of a girl with a field hockey team … leading to the appearance of a field hockey stick 70 minutes later.

Rachel McAdams plays the manager of a hotel on a return flight from her grandmother’s funeral. Cillian Murphy is the creepy guy sitting next to her who is part of terror plot that is taking advantage of her hotel. She spends the movie trying to avoid helping the terror plot and escaping her stalker. Not so much a scary movie as a thriller, Red Eye was a joy to watch, pure suspense. It was so well made, I felt like I could just sit back and watch, and that rarely happens. The 2^nd act, entirely on an airplane in flight, is perfect and a great location for a movie – it’s a place we’ve all been stuck. The performances are spotless, from the leading duo, down to the extras on the plane. Brian Cox is especially good as McAdams’ father. Really there is little I can say about Red Eye except if you haven’t seen it, you really should. It is short, tight, and flawless. I was so full of adrenaline after the movie I was up for about 3 hours.

Red Eye is recommended for those who look suspiciously at the people around them on the airplane, fans of great thrillers, and anyone wants to see the female heroine not need a man to help her overcome her threats. Rick’s Rating: A.

Signs of Distress and Cheer in the Twinkies Season

2005-10-03T09:30:00.000-05:00

So for the first time since 2001, I am greeting a baseball post-season without a team to cheer for. The Minnesota Twins, after three straight American League Central Division championships, finished third this year behind the early peaking White Sox and the late surging Indians. It was a season mirred with injuries, inconsistent play by young players, and lack of run scoring. The Twins will now have the 'benefit' of an extra month to figure out how to improve the team for 2006. It is easy to forgive a team whose entire payroll is less than one-fifth that of the Yankees, but their continued success the last three years and the sucess of the Indians (with an even smaller payroll) shows that you cannot just fall back on the easy excuses. So here, as I see it are the most encouraging and and discouraging factors from the 2005 season.

5 Most Encouraging things from the 2005 Season

1. The Starting Four. Johan Santana followed his first Cy Young Year by leading the AMerican League in ERA again and leading the major league in Strikeouts again. If the rest of his team had provided a bit more run support, there would not be any question of him repeating. As is, with Santana's 16-7, Bartolo Colon's 20 wins doesn't make him feel too secure. Brad Radke had another excellent season ruined by poor run support but his ERA was around 4 the whole year, he hit 200 innings and almost always got through the 6th inning. Carlos Silva had an excellent year despite some injuries and managed a 3.44 ERA with a 9-8 record (and poor run support). Number 4 started Kyle Lohse turned in an excellent second half, salvaging a season and bringing his ERA down to 4.18 and win total up to 9. THis is good because it either a) gives the Twins confidence in the talented but streaky young pitcher or b) makes him good enough to trade and actually get something back for.

2. Behind the Mask. Joe Mauer was everything advertised in his true rookie year. He called great games as a catcher and lead the team in batting average .294 and on base percentage and even stole 13 bases (as a cather!). His back-up, Mike Redmond, an off-season pickup from the Marlins, was always there when you needed him and even hit .311. No one misses Henry Blanco and his below the Mendoza line average.

3. Getting to the End of the Game. The bullpen had another great year for the Twinkies. Joe Nathan proved last year was not a fluke with 43 saves and 94 ks in 70 innings. Juan Rincon (2.45, 75 games) had another solid year as the set up man and youngster Jesse Crain (2.71, 75 games) leap frogged JC Romero (3.47, 68 games) for the 7th inning though they both had solid years. Rookie Matt Guerrier (3.39, 43 games) proved far more dependable in the bullpen than he ever was as a starter in the minor league system. And Terry Mullholland (4.27, 43 games) at 90 years old was even better than last year in his roll on the clean up crew.

4. The New Pitcher. September call up Scott Baker, seemingly part of every preseason trade deal the Twins didn't make, showed why they didn't want to get rid of him. 9 starts, 3-2 record, 3.35 ERA and opponents batting .241. He looks sure fire to make the rotation next year as the number 4 or 5 spot.

5. Gardy Goes On. You can't list the good qualities of the Twins without a shout-out to manager Ron Gardenhire, who, despite not winning the division for the first time, kept the team together through all the trials and pulled out the above .500 season when there seemed to be nothing to play for. Gardenhire can make monsters out of mice so I am sure he and #1 general manager Terry Ryan will come up with something to help us next year.

5 Most Discouraging Things about the 2005 season.

1. The Infield. After years of having one of the most dependable in baseball, the Twins returned only Luis Rivas for 2005, and he was in the minors by July. How bad were they? By the end of the year, they stillhadn't definitively decided on a starter at second or short and Cuddyer was starting at third by default. Morneau at first seemed to be starting based on his potential, but that was all it was. Instead of the promised first 30 hr season by a Twin since Kent Hrbek, Morneau gave us 17 and a batting average under .240.

2. The Outfield. The trio and their back up all had dissapointing seasons. Jacque Jones may have lead the Twins in HRs, but his average slipped even further away from the .300 it was 2002-03, down to .249. He's a free agent this season, don't expect to see him in a Twins uniform next year. Shannon Stewart had a disappointing season, finishing at .274, his first below .300 since 1998. More importantly, his OBA, the reason the Twins got him, dropped 60 points. Lew Ford the DH and fill in guy had a break out season in 2004. In 2005 he just looked broke, batting .264 with only 7 hrs. And Torii Hunter, fan favorite and most important member of the team, went down with an injury in July. But even at the time he was only batting .269.

3. Joe Mays. This man and his 8.5 million dollar salary gets a spot all to himself. Back in 2001 he went 17-13 with a 3.16 ERA. The Twins rewarded him with a four year contract (despite his 5.56 ERA the year before). He followed with a 4-8, 5.38 season the ended halfway with an injury. He came back in 2003 and was so bad - 8-8, 6.30 - that he was dropped from the rotation. He then was paid 8.5 million to have TOmmy John Surgery and not play for a year. And then came this year as the 5th starter, 6-10, 5.65, and dropped from the rotation. The Twins have the option on him for 2006. Its too bad they don't have the option of getting some of their wasted money back.

4. The Minor League System. Other than the aforementioned Scott Baker, after years of being able to deliver whatever the Twins needed when they needed it, Rochester and New Britain looked poorly equipped to help this year, maybe even 'tapped out.' Luis Rodriguez, Francisco Liriano, Jason Bartlett, Dave Gassner, Terry Tiffee, Travis Bowyer, Michael Ryan, and Brent Abernathy never seemed to get it together in the bigs. The lone success, 30 year old major league debuter Glen Williams, hit .425 in 40 ABs before a season ending injury.

5. The Cleveland Indians. They're young, they're cheap, and they look like the team of the future in the AL Central. THat's bad news for the Twin who have a lot of rebuilding to do.

Dirtier than the Water in New Orleans

2005-09-30T09:14:00.000-05:00

It's hard to even talk about THE ARISTOCRATS with going to list. So I'll get that out of the way first: Jason Alexander, Hank Azaria, Lewis Black, David Brenner, Drew Carey, George Carlin, Billy Connolly, Tim Conway, Andy Dick, Carrie Fisher, Whoopi Goldberg, Gilbert Gottfried, Hugh M. Hefner, Eric Idle, Eddie Izzard, Penn Jillette and Teller, Bill Maher, Mike McKean, Howie Mandel, Martin Mull, The Staff of the Onion, Emo Philips, Kevin Pollak, Don Rickles, Chris Rock, Rita Rudner, Bob Saget, Rob Schneider, Harry Shearer, Sarah Silverman, The Cartoon Children of South Park, Jon Stewart, Rip Taylor, The Amazing Johnathan, Scott 'Carrot Top' Thompson, Fred Willard, Robin Williams, Sten Wright. And that's just the half I think have name recognition. It was directed by Penn Jillette (of Penn and Teller) and Paul Provenza. Provenza also had the amazing task of editing hours of footage of these hilarious interviews and performances.

The Aristocrats is a funny funny dirty movie. It is so vile and shocking that nothing I can say will prepare you for just how dirty it is. If you know anything about this movie than you know there is a joke, that comedians tell to each other, and the punchline is 'the aristocrats.' But the movie, like the joke, is so much more. It is not simply 84 comics retelling the same joke ... it is more a documentry about the joke, how its told, and the state of comedy today. And how much you can say before everyone in the audience groans. But it is a tight funny flick. Its not going to change the world, but if it is causing this much controversy it must be a good thing. Standouts in the movie would have to be Gilbert Gottfried, Bob Saget, who is just about the most perverted dirty disgusting man in showbiz, and the surprising Sarah Silverman, who I didn't really know but delivered the best 4 minutes in the movie. Another highlight was the telling of the joke by Billy the Mime. The boys of the show South Park do their own version, and the staff of the faux newspaper the Onion brainstorm every possible dirty offensive thing that one could include in the joke. The end result of the evening is a grin plastered to your face and new respect for the art of comedy and just how comedians bring their own style age old ideas.

The Aristocrats is recommended for lovers of comedy and comedians, tellers of poop jokes, and anyone who wants to exercise a little right to free speech. Rick's Rating: A-

Last Man Standing

2005-09-29T09:36:00.000-05:00

With high-ranking Republicans being tied to scandals left and right (or as they would have you believe, left only), the landscape of the 2007 presidential scramble is suddenly changing. Yesterday, Texas bad boy and House Majority Leader TOM DELAY was indicted by a Texas Grand Jury for conspiring to illegally funnel corporate cash to state Republicans in 2002. BILL FRIST, senate majority leader and crazy bible-thumper now faces dual investigations by the U.S. attorney for the Southern District of New York and the Securities and Exchange Commission into his stock sales of his 'blind trust,' which he apparently knew quite a bit about. And then of course, there is Herr President's top advisor and so-called 'brain,' KARL ROVE, who is leaking names of CIA operatives in the field, is probably guilty of treason. Meanwhile, Arizona Senator JOHN McCAIN led a second hearingon steroids in sports with such tender moments as a letter from the little league association of america begging for the MLB to set a better example to America's youth. You tell me, who looks like a potential republican candidate for President? And do you think he's going toask Rove to work on his campaign? The same man who did his best to circulate false stories during the 2000 Republican primary such as: McCain was a stoolie for his captors in the Hanoi Hilton; McCain fathered a black daughter out of wedlock (a reference to McCain's adopted Bangladeshi daughter); Cindy McCain's drug "abuse"; and even McCain's "homosexuality." No, I think not.

This is good news for America, because it has become increasingly obvious in the last three years that McCain may be one of the most sane members left in the Republican party. I'm already on record saying I will register republican and vote in the primary to keep crazy religious loonies off the national ticket, and that I hope McCain will run again (since Bush basically stole the 2000 election from him with Rove's help). America can not help but be benefited by a moderate thinker (in opposition to Bush's evangelical unthinking leadership - or 'gut' leadership if you will) in the white house, one who has years of experience in politics in washington and who has actually worked with democrats (remember all the rumors about him as Kerry's running partner).

Is this good news for the Democrats? Well, probably not. They will pick up some momentum with Republican leaders falling to scandal, but there's not a man in the party that can run with John McCain... and the woman that most wants to, Hillary Clinton, will more than likely be the death of the 2008 presidential bid before the campaign even begins. So what do they do? I don't know, I'll leave that discussion up to all my democrat friends who all seem to know what's best for the party (and seems to me, know better than the party leadership). I'll continue to wait till someone actually bothers to win my vote, and stand up for freedom for all Americans. Anyone? Anyone? Anyone? Yeah, didn't think so.

Come on, no drug company could really be this unethical...

2005-09-28T11:43:00.000-05:00

The scariest thing about THE CONSTANT GARDNER is that while it may not be true, it's completely plausible. Appologies first, I saw this movie on my trip so it's been a while but I am trying to catch up on my posts... Secondly, as per my norm, this is based on a book that I never read... but who has time for books when they have to go sit in 107 degree weather and watch concerts?

Anyway, the Fernando Meirelles (City of God) directed film looks great (cinematography strongly reminiscent of TRAFFIC) and tells a great story. The cast, lead by the always compelling Ray Fiennes as a low-ranking British diplomat, gives moving and exciting performances. (It is always good to see Kobayashi (Pete Postlethwaite) in a role of questionable trust.) The basic premise is that Feinne's wife is killed in a developing African nation and there is a huge government coverup to protect whatever rats she may have found in whatever closets. The details are especially frightening, and I won't ruin it by telling you, but be prepared. The story is one that reeks of our own disinterest in the African continent and hope the movie-going public will be properly chagrinned. The main problem with the movie, however, is the way the director chooses to tell the story, which undercuts the mystery element of what is essentially a Mystery movie.

It is no great surprise to reveal that Rachel Weisz, who plays Fienne's revolutionary wife, dies at the opening of the movie. The rest of the film is basically concerned with the unravelling of the reasons behind her death. The problem is that we are treated to several minutes (around 20 actually) of scenes that Fiennes would have not been privy. So the audience always knows more then him and we are just waiting for him to catch up. Far more effective are the moments where Fiennes remembers a situation and learns later that something far different was actually going on. Most of this illogical story-telling occurs in the first thirty minutes and once we get past that the movie is quite an enjoyable watch. However, enough of it occurs that the 'revelation' is hardly that, so it's a mystery film where the mystery is tied up relatively easy and then we have to move on to what's done about it. And seeing how this is not a big budget action film, there is not any chance that this process is going to be any more interesting than the quest for truth we've just had.

I don't know, maybe the book handles it better - I couldn't help but feel there was a lot of exposition glossed over rather quickly and poorly at times. Or maybe there is a whole nother edit in the can that flows more like a traditional suspense/mystery. I couldn't help but feel it was a really great story being held back by a pretty poor story-teller. THE CONSTANT GARDENER is recommended for fans of political conspiracy movies, anyone thinking about working for an overseas drug company, fans of writer Jean Le Carre, and people who can't make it through Grandpa's stories without figuring out the ending. Rick's Rating: B-

Not So Intelligently Designed Textbooks

2005-09-27T13:27:00.000-05:00

So yesterday began the important court case that anyone who cares about education should be following. Although Her President wants to make sure that no child is left behind, apparently he is unconcern that those that keep up are receiving actual factual information. 11 parents are suing the Dover Area School District in south-central Pennsylvania for including the 'theory' of intelligent design in science class. In summary, Intelligent Design goes against all scientific thinking, much of which has been in place for 140 years, to say that Darwin's Theory of Evolution cannot possibly explain the the complexities of creation and THEREFORE THERE MUST BE A HIGHER POWER WHO DESIGNED IT ALL. This ridiculous assertation is based on no facts, nor scientific reasoning, and has been discounted by the entire scientific community. The number of criticismss of this so-called 'theory' are too numerous to mention, but seeing how no article on the 'theory' has ever been accepted into a peer-reviewed scientific journal, and those that have been published in journals set up specifically for forwarding the pseudo-science have been routinely denounced for their poor scholarship, and failure to cite and specifically rebut the actual data supporting evolution, and constructing "a rhetorical edifice out of omission of relevant facts, selective quoting, bad analogies, knocking down strawmen, and tendentious interpretations," ( wow...) I think it's fairly obvious that it is not something that should be included in schools.
Opponents of Intelligent Design including the American Association for the Advancement of Science and the National Association of Biology Teachers say intelligent design is an attempt by the Christian right to teach creationism -- the belief that God created the world -- in public schools under the guise of a theory that does not explicitly mention God. The Supreme Court banned the teaching of creationism in public schools in a 1987 ruling. Herr President recently said in an interview that he believed that "both sides ought to be properly taught . . . so people can understand what the debate is about." Of course, I don't know how you properly teach a 'theory' that cannot be tested and has no basis in actual science.

Anyway, this theory is what Pennsylvania wants to teach it's children as an alternate to real science, i.e. Darwin (some might say hey, didn't we win this battle already in like 1906?). ANd they are no alone, according to CNN, "at least 31 states are taking steps to teach alternatives to evolution." A CBS poll last November found 65 percent of Americans favor teaching creationism as well as evolution while 37 percent want creationism taught instead of evolution. WHAT?!?!?!?! Are these people crazy or are they stupid? Or do they just not care about their children's education?

I've got an idea, let's teach kids that America actually didn't win the Revolutionary War, that we are infact, still a vassal of the British Empire and teach everyone the words to God Save the Queen (no, not the Sex Pistols version). Or here's an idea, in English, let's cover the proper use of punctuation, but then teach that there is an alternate system, on in which instead of using a period at the end of our sentences, we just use an ampersand@ You know, I think they will be able to find great jobs in the future with that skill set@ How about in health class we let everyone know that the best way to stay healthy is a diet composed of twinkies@ Or how bout in Math we just teach that 2+2 equals 5????????!!!!!????

That's what they want to do to our children@ As if we are not already far enough behind the rest of the modern world, we want to saddle our future with teaching that is just wrong@ Amy I angry? Damn Right! This is getting minimal amount of coverage on the news networks, but it is an issue that everyone needs to get angry about@ Do you want the stupid people who think the world was created in 6 days and that Methusalah really was 800 years old to decide the curriculum?

There is actually a simple solution for these people@ Let them send their children to their bizarro little cultish indoctrinating religious schools so they can learn all the facets of Augustine and how many angels fit on the head of a pin@ Let's keep public schools free of unprovable philosophical pseudo-science and concentrate on getting our children ready for the actual world they will be living in@

Saturday in the Park (Friday and Sunday too)

2005-09-26T08:29:00.000-05:00

Well, the hurricane never came, and so I guess I was justly rewarded with the hottest weekend of my life. Erin at one point said 'the must be what hell feels like' and I said I think we are still missing the open flames but man... each day was hotter than the last. But so was the music!

Friday we rolled into the fest around one, in time to catch a some of LEO KOTKE's set, a nice, austinish opening with a blueglass feel. He was playing with Mike GOrdon, bassist of Phish, so that was interesting. Kotke told like a five minute intro story for each song, so I don't think he was quite used to a one hour set.

We tracked back to the other side of the fest to catch KASABIAN, who, despite most of their songs sounding alike, turned out a monster performance.

The performance of the day came from husband and wife team MATES OF STATE, who sounded even better live than on record. What was also cute was how they seemed to sing every song to eachother. Of course it was also Anniversery Weekend so I was a little biased toward people showing true love on the stage but they are one band ready to break. Great harmonies and tempo shifts right our of prog rock, all with an upbeat joy that cannot be denied. They have a new album due in November... but if you need a a qucik intro, check out their EP ALL DAY featuring 4 songs that are perfect including a fun cover of Bowie's Starman.

We tracked back to the other side of the fest for Lucinda Williams who gave a great preformance. The highlight would have to be her dedication of the song CRESCENT CITY to the people of New Orleans.

We again tracked back to the other side of the fest to catch hometown favorites SPOON, who were awesome live as usual. Tracks from the new album sounded great and dominated the set which closed with the new masterpiece MY MATHEMATICAL MIND.

Again back across the fest for the ALLMAN BROTHERS BAND - who let me tell you, were awesome. I wish more classic bands would realize that their is an audience out their waiting to hear them at festivals like this. THe fact that a majority of the bands playing ACL fest would not even exist with the Allman Brothers was not lost on an appreciative audience who enjoyed classics like Run to Keep From RUnning and WHipping Post (which kicked ass).

We were going to head back to other side to catch Keane but at this point, despite the fact the sun had finally gone done, we were exhausted and didn't really want to walk more than we had to (we still had to walk back to the car). The closing act was THE BLACK CROWES wwho, to be honest, were a little wanky. They played a great version of She Talks to Angels, but other songs droned on past 10 minutes with all sorts of blues wank. Honestly, we left. We were tired and wanted to take a shower.

DAY TWO was supposed to be lost to Hurricane Rita, or atleast a little soggy. Instead, we didn;t even get the cloud cover we had the day before, and were treated to tempertures in the high nineties. We started the day around one again, enjoying the ASYLUM STREET SPANKERS who, despite being under-miked for the fest with their acoustic sound, pleased the crowd with hillarous songs like HICK HOP and a cover of the Circle Jerk's TV PARTY.

The performance of the day also came early on saturday with former Soul Coughing frontman MIKE DOUGHTY leading his new band through a selection of songs from his new album HAUGHTY MELODIC, his EP ROCKITTY ROLL, SOUL COUGHING, and surprising covers like HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF, THE GAMBLER and PARADISE CITY. Then theree was new song/jam FIRETRUCK, which, if you don't know, is little joke DOughty has with his fans. He had a great rapport with the fans and hopefully made some new ones.

We headed back across the fest (for the only time that day - we learned our lesson) to catch indie rock stalwarts BUILT TO SPILL who were pretty awesome but very poorly mixed. A little too much feedback for the sound board to handle. Somewhere near the end of this set Erin decided she needed to find some shade so she went off in search of shaved ice and temps below 90. She caught some of the WEARY BOYS in the covered Capital Metro, while I braved the heat to save our place for the upcome DCFC show and watched THE FRAMES from Ireland, who sound like an irish version of Kasabian, in other words, an irish version of everyone else.

DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE exploded on the stage at 4:30 and the new album (PLANS) sounded great. They even threw an old SOMETHING ABOUT AIRPLANES track in for pre-OC fans (alwell as THE COMPANY CALLS from WE HAVE THE FACTS AND WE'RE VOTING YES). Anyway, it only confirmed the fact that DCFC cannot play for an hour. It's not enough time. They have gotten to headliner status very fast, and ACL just hadn't realized it.

We shifted our chairs from on stage to another (we had selected a location evenly between two) and enjoyed the bizarro punk of the FIERY FURNACES who are definitely a band to watch in the future.

Shift back to the other stage for Australian rockers JET, who really impressed us. They basically sound like Bachman Turner Overdrive meets AC/DC mixed with a little classic southern rock. How can that go wrong? THey felt huge on stage and definietly convinced me to buy their album.

Shifted our chair again for BLOC PARTY, a multi-cultural london ensemble with an eighties feel and ninties energy. We were enjying a Brick Oven Pizza (the best value in the food court) so didn't pay as much attention as we could, but they sounded pretty good. ALso, my chair broke.

The closing act of saturday was OASIS. Now let me tell you that I saw Oasis several years ago, but at the show I went to, Liam wasn;t feeling too well and Noel did the whole show himself. Which sounded the same. So it was little surprise to me that Liam was a spoiled little brat on stage saturday as well, such as walking off the stage introducing his brother with 'here's another song you won't know' or stopping a song in the middle to have them turn up his monitor. What a spoilt little brat. But they sounded great. ANd the new songs are finally back up to the level of their first two albums.

The final day, despite being the hottest (not a cloud in the sky) was the best all-around day for music. We began our day with indie singer-songwriter RACHEL YAMAGATA, who even led the crowd in a sing along.

The DOVES rocked out on the mainstage, very sharp especially during the percussion coda of THERE GOES THE FEAR. Every seemed to keep mentioning how hot it was in Austin.

THE BRAVERY sounded like the Killers, or rather, everyone else, but that didn't make them any less enjoyable. What did was lyrics like 'stop, drop and roll: you're on fire.' That and I was feeling like skin might in fact be on fire...

The most surprising performance of the day and quite possibly the best of the weekend came from THE ARCADE FIRE, montreal based rockers featuring violin, viola, frech horn, xylophone and a second percussionist who banged a cymbal so hard he broke it and them like basically passed out on stage. The music was comlicated and uplifting and influenced maybe by the Polyphonic Spree, and the Flaming Lips. One influence was worn on their sleeves, David Bowie, as they covered the great FIVE YEARS from the Ziggy Stardust album. Their set was so good, I rose from my heat induced slumber and stood up and danced.

As if that hadn't been good enough, they were followed by THE DECEMBRISTS, singing about scurvy, chimney sweeps and intramural sports. They even played about french canadien pirates and dedicated it to the Arcade Fire. This band also featured strange instrumentation (accordian, violin, xylophone) and if you don't know this band, you really should check them out. It was still pretty darn hot but the arcade fire gave us a second wind.

The sun set during FRANZ FERDINAND which was really glorious, and of course revealed the giant cloud of dust that had settled over the park. We found out the next day that it was actually 107 degrees. That's right ONE HUNDRED AND SEVEN FREAKING DEGREES!!!!! Anyway, the scottish rockers debuted some great new material but really pleased the crowd with their hits, such as THIS FIRE and TAKE ME OUT. They certainly played like they were a headliner, and I am sure many of the people had come to see them and parked their chairs for Coldplay later but as good as FF is, I think they need to evolve a little if they are going to have staying power.

Erin and I had long since decided we didn't need to see 'headliners' Coldplay, so the final set of the night was Chicago-based post-rock/experimental TORTOISE who was simply amazing. Six bandmembers all of whom switched instruments several times created really complicated and brillaint music. Much of the show featured dual drummers, sometimes dual xylophonists (what was it is with xylophones todays?) - or rather a xylophone, a glockenspiel and a synthesized marimba. WOW. Unfortunately their closing number was so freaking loud and featured such piercing frequencies they may have permenently damaged Erin's hearing. But she was a little better this morning.

Anyway, a great fest. But a little damn hot.

Selfish Thoughts of a Man on Hurricane Path

2005-09-22T15:16:00.000-05:00

So I'm sitting here watching endless coverage of the potential path of Rita, and I'm remembering the countless pictures of the destruction of Katrina, and all I can think of is that I have Austin City Limits Festival tickets this weekend that this whole hurricane thing is really messing with. How selfish is that? I know, but look... I'm tired of this weather crap. I'm ready to move to mudslides, earthquakes and wildfires, and away from hurricanes and floods. It's my frickin' aniversary this weekend, and last year, well, I had to wait three days to leave on my honeymoon because of the series of hurricanes in Florida.

Here's why I'm tired of this crap... it seems fairly obvious to me that this heightened hurricane activity is part of a global climate shift that we, as usual, are DOING NOTHING ABOUT! We drive our giant cars guzzling gasoline and refuse to build public transportation or a national/state-wide train systems (how I would have loved my 'road' trip to be a 'track' trip) and we pretend we aren't melting the ice caps and destroying the ozone... and then we're like 'why are the hurricanes so bad' or 'why is texas in the middle of a drought' or 'why are there more days over 100 degrees each successive year.' And then there are all these faux scientists saying this has nothing to do with global warming an that it is just a twenty year natural cycle. There may be cycles like that, but if you look back 20 years ago or 40 or 60 whenever these supposed cycles were back at their height, there has never been this many category 4 and 5 hurricanes in a two year period as there has been 2004-05, and we've still got a month to go. Let me repeat that: never. It has never been this bad.

And we spent $200 on our fricking ACL Fest tickets and have been looking forward to it for months. If no one else cares enough to stop giving tax breaks to car companies actively repressing electric cars, then why should I care about the side effects of their disregard. Don't get me wrong, my heart goes out to the people, all the individuals hurt by the hurricane, but its a shame that the weather can't be a little more focused and take out the places and people that deserve it... like all the politicians in DC who come up with tax breaks for companies hurt by the hurricane... like oh, Exxon. So the hurricane may be shifting away from a headon with Austin, and my precious festival will go on, but if we are going to stir everyone into uproar, let's get something out of it. Let's get some people really thinking about the world we are living in and what we can do to preserve it, rather than aggravate it.

Belated Movie Review: Just Like the Loss of the Character's Virginity

2005-09-20T14:15:00.000-05:00

The last movie I saw before I left on the road trip was the quite good FORTY YEAR OLD VIRGIN. Despite being essentially one joke, this Steve Carell (THE OFFICE, THE DAILY SHOW) star turn delivers consistent laughs throughout. Carell is charming and hilarious and avoids all the easy nerd stereotypes to give a very detailed performance as the title character. He also benefits from a truly entertaining supporting cast, who could almost carry the show on their own. And I'm like who are these guys? Other than Catherine Keener (who is always good) you'd be hard pressed to find another actor with name recognition. The trio of men who coach Carell through his quest all have their own little take on love and relationships giving the movie several different approaches. Each one was so detailed I found myself looking forward to a DVD of deleted scenes to see more of them. Keener is very good and the very real. She always seems to be as able to pull off drama in the midst of comedy as comedy in the midst of drama. Carell also comes across a couple very hilarious misfires in the dating world, including the hilarious Barnes and Noble pick-up of "Beth."

The movie kind of peters out at the end with a movie-cliche chase type scene, and the very very end feels lifted right out of another movie, but it was not enough to keep me from smiling. I recommend the movie for anyone who felt pressure to 'lose it,' fans of Steve Carell, movie goers who don't want to think too hard, and anyone with a secret stash of action figures hidden away. Rick's Rating: A-

Lions and Tigers But No Bears, oh my - the trip home

2005-09-19T15:02:00.000-05:00

We headed down I-15 to SanDiego, stopping in Oceanside along the way to gas up and to use the bathroom - of course they didn't have a bathroom at the gas station so I had to sneak into KFC. We decided to pass on Legoland because we had taken a longer breakfast in LA with Richard (to play our fourth game that weekend of Settlers of Cataan, everyone's favorite dork gathering game). Our other little disappointment was that Susan who we were heading to stay with had come down with Bronchitis, so we could stay with her but she wasn't going to be able to hang out at all. We ate that night at a local mexican restaurant, which was okay, and then saw THE CONSTANT GARDENER, which I'll review next week, but in short it's pretty good with some flaws, a B, maybe B+.

THe next day, Colin ate 8 eggo waffles... that's right, 8. I had two and some fruit. I just point that out for later. THen we went to the San Diego Wildlife Park, which is really something. We started with this hour long train ride around the park with a tour guide who seemed to know absolutely everything. Highlights include baby elephants, two rhinos who seemed to think they were in a production of THE FANTASTICS, and learning about bachelor herds (when one male has taken control of the females, the other males have to band together for support). We walked around and saw canadian condors, which are really fricking ugly! After visiting lions and tigers I realized that this zoo had no bears. Colin says its cause the emphasis was on africa and asia but how can you have a zoo without bears. I guess they might at the main zoo, but I like bears. I adopted one at saveourbears.org. Then we had lunch. Colin's lunch was chilli cheese fries. THat's it. He said he wasn't really hungry, I wonder why. After visiting the lemurs (and reminiscing about the movie Madgascar) and the meerkats, we were back on the road. Well, for a moment. COlin spent the rest of the day with food poisoning. He thinks the chilli maybe wasn't kept warm enough... who knows. But I had to do a good deal of driving from there on.

The only highlight of the drive was going up into the mountians 4000 feet and then back down to sea level in a matter of a few miles. We stayed in Tucson at a Ramada, the nicest hotel of the trip. The next day we headed out to the San Xavier Del Bac Mission, the best preserved mission in the southwest. It was unfortunately receiving an outer restoration but inside was amazing... It had one of the those creepy life size wooden statues with clothing that people pinned their prayers to... a little on the pagan side I think for most religions but hey, whatever makes the people happy, right? Up a hill nearby they was a grotto where they had been a 'visitation' in the past. We rode out of Tucson and east, because Colin refused to go to the Biosphere, which I was really excited about... but oh well.

And Rolled into Tombstone. WHich is a great little tourist site, lots of small shops and little museums without being out of control tacky. There is also a bit of charm in the fact that the city most important landmark, the OK Corral, looks like it hasn;t received a tourism makover since 1955. The 'historama' features narration by Vincent Price' and a rotation animatronic mountain full of figurines that play out the storied past of the town. The other facet of the OK Corral is a full scale reenactment which is actually not done on the location of the the original shootout, but a hundred feet away on a little stage with a fake city backdrop... can't really explain that one. On the location of the actual shootout there are 4 ft tall anamatronic figures that lift and point guns to a prerecorded soundtrack. We ate at Big Nose Kate's Saloon, the location of the hotel (and Brothel) owned by Doc Holliday's girlfriend. We ate pizza (which was not, fortunately, the frozen variety of the tombstone name) and were served by a 'buxom' lass dressed up ... well... I think they were taking the brothel heritage into the present business. There was also this great singer/guitarist who sang Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson and had to get up in the middle of his set because they were going to town his car.

The final stop of the day, and really of the trip, was THE THING IN THE DESSERT, this crazy tacky idea to get people off the expressway into a gas station. Basically, about 20 miles before the exit, we ware bombarded with billboards, one every 500 feet or so, advertising THE THING, with sayings such as 'you don't know who you are until you are faced with the thing" and also advertising the gas station gift shop and Dairy Queen. Anyway. you pay your dollar and head back through a series of metal storage sheds, each filled with a variety of interesting items, including classic cars, wood sculptures and full size diarama of a torture chamber... you certainly get your dollars worth just out of the strangeness of it all, and the capitalistic brilliance of creating the elaborate non-attraction just to get people off the road. Anyway, in the final storage shed is the THING. And it is pretty non-impressive. And not really worth a dollar. But the whole experience is. I don't feel I should reveal what the thing is... if you are ever near the arizona/new mexico border on I-10 you should check it out.

Anyway, we stayed the night in Las Cruces and at this great local Tex-Mex place LA POSTA, which was originally a boarding stop for the wells fargo wargo and pony express and other such entities. It's been serving food since 1939 and was writtin up in Life Magazine in 1957 as one of the 50 restaurants in the country you should visit on a driving tour of america. Needless to say, it was good. And had something that was close to Queso, which at this point I am missing like crazy.

The next day we drove back to austin, El Paso has got to be the largest city in America in terms of land area, the exits 17 to 38 were all El Paso. At exit 477 we finally turned off I-10, man Texas is big, and headed through Fredericksburg and Johnson City, back to my baby in Austin. Hey, don't drive around Texas for fun. Just some advice.

Anyway, here's the final tally:
Total Mileage: 4030
States Visited: 7
State Peed by the side of the Road in: 7
Best Hotel: Ramada Limited, Tucson
Worst Hotel: Octillo Inn, Carlsbad
Best Food: The Italian Restaraunt in Marina Del Ray
Worst Food: Ft. Stockton
Most Impressive Natural Site: Grand Canyon (duh)
Least Impressive Natural Site: Four Corners
Most Impressive Manmade Site: The Strip in Vegas
Least Impressive: The Thing in the Desert (duh)
Most Heard Song: Sloop John B, the Beach Boys
Casualites of the Drive: Colin's watch (somewhere in Tucson), Rick's bottle of face wash (Susan's House), Rick's Watch (Richard's house), Colin's Sunglasses (broke while on his face), The shampoo we took from the Stratosphere Hotel (also at Susan's)
Total Expenditure on Gas: $571
Cost per mile traveled: approximately 14 cents

How Can You Swim In a Town This Shallow? - 3 days in LA

2005-09-16T00:47:00.000-05:00

Not that any of my friends are shallow, just quoting a song and making an observation. Sitting in a diner, walking down the street, its like everyone you pass must first to check if you are anyone and if you are not smile and walk on or look away...

We arrived in the late evening at Donna and Richard's new place, three blocks from Richard's old place, where I've been several times, but that didn't stop me from getting lost on the way. Then off to Barney's Beanery, where I've now eaten each time I've visited LA. But that's okay cause the menu is like 15 pages. Weird thing - walked in and was immediately recognized by one of my former Acting One students from IU - I fortunately remembered her name. My friend Brent met us over there - I hadn't seen Brent in like 3 years (cause the bum was too poor to make it out to my wedding :) so that was cool. Richard almost didn't recognize him because his hair is no longer dye blonde like it was back when he was in like very show I directed...

The next morning featured an early morning breakfast special at SWINGERS (early morning by the way there is 11:00 am) and a trip to, as Joey would call it Grown Man's Chinese Theatre. We trounced on some star's stars - the picture with Telly Savalas' star is in honor of the screenplay I just finished. We ate at Mel's Holywood Diner, when the power goes out (apparentally it was on the national news). We drove on Mullholland Drive and then Colin went off to stay with a friend of his from Carleton (and took my truck - the first time I've let my truck go on an overnight with another boy). Richard, Donna and I met up with the Indiana University contingent: Brad Fletcher, Sara formerly Rebrovic now Fletcher, Kenny Dellinger, David Mickler, and Amber, whose last name I don't think I've ever known. We met at some healthy sandwhich shop, which was Sara's pick I assumed since she's the healthy one (actually it was Brad's pick, which I knew, but Sara is the one who took him there in the first place). We ate and drank, and drank some more, then went to the cheesecake factory and drank some more, then I went back to Brad and Sara's place and drank more! THat's right, it was like being in College again. Well, grad school, I never really drank in college. It was three years in a program that never beleived in me that drove me to drink :)

Brad was not feeling too well the next morning. I also think their dog took a big crap in the room I was sleeping in... some time in the middle of the night when I got up to go to the bathroom. Oh, incidentally, I should mention I was spending the night in the Malkovich room, ceiling height about 4 ft, and I had put up the little gate to keep the dog out. Anyway Sara had to go to class (I seem to remember her having a book open on her lap the night before) and Brad went off to work. Colin, Richard and I met up with David and Kenny at Jerry's American Deli and then Kenny snagged some comp tickets to Universal Studios from Clearchannel where he and David (and Brent, actually) work. Let me tell you, the last time I went to Universal Studies I was 2 years old and it has really changed... first of all, no Cylons! and the whole tram ride, it was like one long sales pitch, for the gift shop, and DVDs of universal movies. And we didn;t even get to do all the normal tram things, like the parting of the red sea, where we just drove through, or the collapsing bridge which was just pointed out to us on the side. The highlight of the day had to be the WATERWORLD STUNT SPECTACULAR. I can't imagine whose brilliant idea it was to do an attraction based on this mega-bomb, but there it was, in all its glory. It was fun and maybe I'll give waterworld another watch sometime soon. I do love the postman.

That night Colin, Richard, Donna and I met up with Colin's friend Jade who works at Zoic Studios doing CGI shading on Battlestar Galactica, everyone's new favorite show. We ate at this great classic Italian Restaurant in Marina Del Rey. I met Brent later that night at a neighborhood bar and then he took me to the odd Mexican Wrestling Themed Bar (just pictures on the wall no real wrestling). Anyway, all these great friends over a a few days... I should totally move to LA. I'd have to bring my wife though... I miss her too much as it is, so I can't move to Cali without her.

The Weekend: Vegas, Baby!

2005-09-14T10:36:00.000-05:00

So the first typical Vegas story is the way we followed the signs to the hotel registration desk, parked the truck and then went in to check in. But of course the desk was on the far side of the casino, so you could play all these beautiful slot machines on the way... Plus then it was 10:30 and apparentally that is prime time to check in to hotel in Vegas. Most people who come to Vegas these days stay on the strip. It is questionable whether THE STRATOSPHERE is really on the strip or not, if it is, it is certainly on the far end of it, which is also funny to me because the last time I came to Vegas I stayed just one hotel closer.

Anyway, we picked up Brian at the airport and zoomed back to the hotel, with plans of going to sleep early so we could get up fresh the next day. But that was before we realized that Colin had never seen Misery with Kathy Bates, so of course that put off the going to bed... Spending time in your vegas hotel room is actually difficult, because unlike every other hotel in the world where they want you to be comfortable, here they want you to leave your room... and go down stairs, and gamble. Cruddy airconditioning, no fridge, expensive cokes and would you beleive is no FREE WIRELESS INTERNET!

The next day we headed back out to the Hoover Dam (in day light this time) Did you realize that the new parking garage next to the hoover dam cost more than the dam itself? (not adjusted for inflation). Apparently the tour has been shortened since 9/11, can't blame them, but we didn't get to go into any of the tunnels etc. THe oddest part of the damn are these giant bronze wingered guardians on either side of a floor of astrological designs...free masonry at its finest, showing all human history from the building of the pyramids, to the birth of 'Our Lord Jesus CHrist The Savior' as one tour guid described it, to the building of the hoover dam.

Most of the rest of the weekend was spent 'on the strip.' The first night we had amazingchips at La Isla in Treasure Island (the rest of the food was good too) and felt jipped when the free pirate show was cancelled on a account of high wind. We then took in the the volcano at the Mirage, the Anamatronic destruction of Atlantis at Caesar's and the dancing fountains at the Bellagio. The next day we started at the Monte Carlo, whihc is actually pretty old school now, but nice (and we did pretty well there), New York New York, The MGM GRAND (we saw the lions), Paris, and we went in the Belagio, saw the conservatory and ate great gellato. We especially enjoyed O'SHEA'S one of the many low end casinos still surviving on the strip. The highlight of the weekend for me was going to the Wynn to see the just open AVENUE Q, fresh from Broadway and featuring several of the original cast members. Its a puppet musical that plays like an adult version of sesame street. Hilarious. After that we began to search for food 'off the strip' to save a little money. An hour later we returned to the hotel with Wendy's.

That quest continued in the morning. We though we remembered seeing signs on the highway for a $3.99 buffet at Boulder Station, a casino off the strip that makes the stratospehere seem classy. Plus there was this huge line to get in to the buffett so we ended up in henderson, the town half way to the hoover dam where I had bought an electric razor the day before, and ate at an Applebees. Which actually has queso. Not great queso, but at this point it has risen to a high 2nd on the things I am missing on the trip. That's also not the full story, as we somehow took the wrong turn on our way to Boulder station and ended in the desert half way to salt lake city. But we did find cheap gas. $2.79 a gallon. After lunch we hit the strip again, the excalibur which is CHEESY, the luxor, which we really liked and mandalay bay. Overall, my favorite slot machines were ENCHANTED UNICORN, SEA MONKEYS, and SALMON RUN which featured bears. But I mostly played video poker.

Then Colin and I had to abandon Brian to drive to Los Angeles. Brian's plane was leaving at 6 ... the next morning, so we dropped him off back at the stratosphere $50 dollars down, we'll see where he ends up. I ended $30 down and Colin, a dollar. But then again Colin only bet $2 the whole weekend... We drove on through Nevada, taking a stop at JEAN, where I had set the opening of a screenplay, taking pictures of the prison. A trip across the Mohave Desert brought us into L.A. around 10 pm. Actually I'm pretty sure we were in the LA suburbs by 8:45, it just took us that long to get around to where we needed to be.

Best Slots: O'Shea's
Best Decor: Bellagio
Cheesiest Decor: Excalibur
Hotest Cocktail Waitresses: Treasure Island
Best Free Show: The Fountains at the Bellagio
Best Show We Didn't See: BITE (the erotic vampire revue)

ROAD TRIP SOUTHWEST: A Day of Natural Beauty and Human Ridiculousness

2005-09-12T11:58:00.000-05:00

Opening Location: Tuba City, AZ

Closing Location: Las Vegas, NV

Mileage: 440

Gas Expendiure: $50

We headed south from Tuba City into the Grand Canyon National park. Along the way, members of the Navajo Nation had set up wooden booths by the side of the highway, warning us of their presence with such signs as “friendly Indians ahead” and then after we passed “friendly Indians behind you,” “you just passed us,” and “turn around and shop.” We entered the Grand Canyon from the North entrance of the south rim, apparently not the most popular way, so we got some pretty empty views at the start of our journey. Colin enjoyed hearing German at basically every stop. It was a little overcast so we missed the sun for most of the morning, but I think our photographs still turned out pretty amazing. At one location, the Grandview Point, we found a path going down. Colin and I went down a few hundred feet to get interesting pictures and then Colin, a wee bit afraid of heights turned back and I said I was going to ‘go on a bit.’ I followed the path down the canyon on and on, eventually caught up with these two guys from California and we continued the descent, eventually reaching a mesa in the middle of the canyon, the Horseshoe Mesa (I found out later). I decided I better head back, knowing the way back up would be harder than the way down. Colin had come down to the last point he saw me, calling it the “stairs of death” with visions of me falling over the side of the canyon, and called out to me just at the right time (I was thinking how much fricking further do I have to climb). After I got to the top, massively hydration deprives, I read the sign about how many people die in the canyon each year and saw that I had descended at least 2500 feet, but of course was going back and forth, back and forth across the face of the cliff. A few more vistas and a visitor center and I was done. I was probably done as soon as I got up the canyon face, my ankles were throbbing, but I powered through. We hit the two gift shops in the village, one which featured several signs warning people the products were ‘not made by native americans’ and another one which seemed to have some legitimate native American art and artifacts. I strongly recommended to Colin that he not buy the fake Indian art and he allowed himself to be influenced - by his own admission he thought the legitimate art was better than the faux art.

I blurted out to Colin that the Grand Canyon was big but it wasn’t going to be real for me till I saw it on the big screen. So we headed out of the park to the south, stopping in Tusayon ten miles away to watch the IMAX Grand Canyon movie – which I am pretty sure I’ve actually scene before, I don’t know where that would have been but it seemed too recognizable.

We filled up our tank in Williams Arizona and then headed out on historic Route 66, the longest stretch of it left in America. There were lots of little shops and gas stations along the way all either done up in period or actually left over from period. Two particular highlights were this crazy gas station in the middle of no where (well, Hackberry) all done up with signage, and this hotel with a giant stone head in front of it, ‘Headicus.’ We ate in a Rt. 66 diner in Kingman which was pretty good, but a little of the faux side (that’s the second time I’ve typed faux in my life) – (that was the third time).

We headed up in to Nevada and crossed over the Hoover Dam – they had to search our car before we drove over it – I guess 9 pm is prime terror time. We were wondering how far it would be to Vegas until we began to see the light bleed into the night sky and at about 30 miles away we could already see the stratosphere – the tallest manmade structure west of the Mississippi. But that’s for another blog…

Soundtracks for the Day: CANYON DREAMS, authentic Native American Flute Music, LOUD, FAST, AND OUT OF CONROL, the Rhino collection of 50’s Music, and the SWINGERS SOUNDTRACK.

DAY THREE: I Found My Purpose

2005-09-11T04:20:00.000-05:00

Opening Location: Cortez, CO

Closing Locaton: Tuba City, AZ

Mileage: 305

Gas Expenditure: $35

A more relaxing day, but then again, anything is more relaxing than 12 hours of driving. Of course, we slept in pretty late and made it out to the Mesa Verde around 11:00 am. The funniest thing about the park is that it takes an hour to get from the park entrance to anything interesting to look at. Other than the scenery of course. But by this time, you know, scenery was old hat. I mean come on, I grew up in Illinois… the most topographically interesting state in the Union. So we got up there finally and then took a driving tour around the canyon ridge so we were not actually able to go inot the ruins, but to see them really well from a far. But they are pretty fricking cool. We learned a great deal about the culture of the anasazi, who are a ‘native american’ tribe, one of the many that I am sure our government made a treaty with and then steamrolled over. But that was much after they built these charming adobe homes with canyon views and quarter mile climbs to any water or food source. The Anasazi Indians for reasons unknown abandoned these dwellings in 1280. Of course the maybe the whole food/water scarcity had something to do with it.

We then drove an hour back to the park entrance and another hour on to FOUR CORNERS, the only place in America where you can stand in four states at once. See if you can guess the states. The whole little made up monument is run by the Navajo nation, so I did not feel bad about giving them my $3 for entrance and $2 for some Indian flatbread. I was going to be a shirt but the only thing I had left was these blankets, covered in smallpox…

Then on to MONUMENT VALLEY… featured in several movies and the US Marine commercial where he scales the cliff and then receives his sword. The part about this attraction is that it was basically on the way to where we were going anyway, and it was visible entirely from the highway, so we just drove along and stopped every few minutes to take pictures.
Along the way we stopped for gas in Bluff, Utah, a mormon city where I paid 35 dollars in cash for 10 gallons of gas on a pump where the numbers didn’t move and handed it over to a woman with half a hand who told me that the gas prices were ruining the economy. I of course agreed with her but quickly got out of her store before she tried to sell me any onf the so called ‘indian artifacts’ set out unmarked on a plastic card table.

We got into Tuba City at about 7:30, which was a nice change of pace. Had a relaxing diner and went to bed early. I also got free internet access that actually worked, unlike in Cotez where I couldn’t upload any pictures or Carlsbad where they were like ‘the internet… yeah um… we don’t have that here.” And I was like is there an internet café or something and they didn’t know what that was either. I then asked if there was a starbucks in town (knowing they usually have a pay service – and I’ve never in my life asked for a starbucks) and she said “oh, this is a small town” Of course, they had a fricking wall-mart. And so did Tuba City for that matter, and Cortez. I hate Wallmart. They can donate all they want to the new Orleans relief effort but that doesn’t make up for a business model of exploiting America’s Poor. They suck. Anyway, way off track. The Hotel at Tuba City was the original Mormon Trading post that was built in 1905. When the city became Navajo reservation territory they had to sell it to the Indians, which is pretty funny because all the stuff they were trading was like Indian jewelry etc, so they ended up getting a lot of there own stuff back. Anyway the staff there was very nice and helpful and I hihly recommend you stay there for your Grand Canyon needs rather than the typical and more expensive ports of call.

Most Interesting Conversation Topic: How well people of different races age … i.e. which peoples stay cuter longer

New found PURPOSE: to pee on the roadside of every state we pass through. … 5 states down, 2 to go.

Road Trip Southwest: The Long Drive

2005-09-09T09:30:00.000-05:00

DAY TWO

Opening Location: Carlsbad, NM
Closing Location: Cortez, CO
Mileage: 704
Gas Expenditure: $108

Woke up early and enjoyed a very adequate continental breakfast at the hotel formerly known as Quality. Another benefit of staying at the Octillo Inn was the bonus friend in our bathroom that morning, a large black scarab looking creature that lived even after Colin attempted to slam an ice bucket on it. We drove the twenty miles to the Carlsbad National Park, very excited to see the gas station at its entrance advertising $2.89 a gallon. Our ascent up the hillside was only eventful in that I kept missing the turn off to park and take photos. At the top we watched a discovery channel film about caverns … with very poor sound and then began our descent into the caverns, electing to take the natural route. It was an amazing steep incline for an hour at least. After all the hub bub about not touching anything and how they were preserving the caverns forever, I had to wonder at the huge asphalt ramp we were walking down. But apparently that doesn’t bother anyone. We had these audio guide things which, unlike some I’ve had in the past which were walkmans you hung around your neck, this was a long plastic rectangle on which you entered a number and then held it up to your ear. Of course that only left you one hand for the slippery steel railing … and then if you were holding a camera … forget about it. C was in fact holding a camera, or rather using one every few feet… we’ll see if any of those turn out. I’d say about a third of the photos I took with my digital turned out. At the bottow there is a very cool 50’s looking eating place… with food prepackaged in plastic to survive the descent. I just opted for a coke, my first of the day and I was really needing it after that. We then followed the ‘big room’ tour around the the bottom of the caverns which was, of course, amazing. Yeah, Natural Bridge outside of San Antonio’s got nothing on this place. Up the elevators in one minute we were back at the top, ready to drive back down the hill, this time taking photos along the way. We had one last stop before leaving the area and that was to get that cheap gas. We pulled up only to find they were out of the regular gas and only had the premium (which was of course just as expensive as gas back in the town). So we drove back to town and bought gas at $3.09 a gallon.

The next stop was Roswell. The drive to it was rather uninteresting. But the town did feature lampposts with little alien faces and we ate at an Arby’s whose front sign said ‘Aliens Welcome.’ I of course accidentally ordered a sandwhich which had some sort of rancid sauce on it so I couldn’t eat it. That’s a good way to keep on a diet. The UFO research and science Center is this crazy hollowed out movie theater with information about the so-called ‘Roswell Incident’ posted up on tack boards, with all sorts of signed affidavits and photos. I have to admit I was impressed with both the thoroughness of the descriptions and its balance. They gave a very well argued alternate explanation involving the government testing a weather balloon system which was supposedly going to be used to predict Soviet missile launches. Anyway, I think you could easily come out believing the same thing you went in with, as Colin and I did. He believes that obviously the government was covering up something there, but not that it was an alien crash landing. I am inclined to believe it was aliens… there is just too many people involved whose stories reflect that. Anyway, it was a small well done museum and a nice way to spend an hour and a half.

After hitting the gift shop we were off again, our next planned stop being diner in Santa Fe, we had a little extra time. I suggested to Colin we might take this alternate route because then we might go buy the ruins of a Pueblo city by Peco. He agreed and we rolled across this gravelly road partially overgrown by weeds on the side and through the middle of no where. And then it began to rain. And then we hit this ‘city’ with lots of twisty streets (well the street we were on became twisty as it went up and around hills at 15 miles an hour). Anyway, by the time we got back to a major highway the sun was in the process of setting and we figured we would not really be able to see the ruins. But we went anyway and of course found the gate closed saying the park closed at 6 pm, it was now 7:15. We could see the top of one of the ruins, so I took a picture and we got in. When we got back into the car, Colin was like too bad they closed at 6 and I promptly announced that I had read that in the book and he was like well why did we come and I said I wanted to see if we could see anything from the road. He was not very happy with that response. And said “You’re an ass.”

And we drove the thirty minutes to Santa Fe to eat at the Cowgirl Hall of Fame. Which was highly recommended in the guide book and right near the old part of Santa Fe. I had a buffalo burger, like made from an actual buffalo, which pretty much tasted like a burger. Colin unfortunately had an esphogal issue and couldn’t eat his meal. But the décor was nice… pictures of competitive cowgirls from the thirties I guess. And the waitresses all dressed as cowgirls. We seemed to be the only table with a cowboy waiter. And he had an earring and a leather hat. I guess it’s the new west.

We quickly drove past the oldest buildings in Santa Fe, one of which was the seat of the Spanish government for the area back in 1700. And then on to Cortez in Colorado, and on and on and on and on. I don’t know what I was thinking putting us up there… it was like a 4 hour drive that we started at 10 pm. We finally hit the travellodge at 2 am. C wailed on the doorbell several times to awaken the desk clerk, who also checked us out in the morning … he didn’t look to happy with us. But we slept in, we had to start our next day a little behind schedule.

Conversational question of the day: Why are people like Paris Hilton famous?
Debate of the Day: What’s the difference between believing in God and believing in the aliens?

ROAD TRIP - DAY ONE

2005-09-07T23:25:00.000-05:00

Opening Location: Austin, TX

Closing Location: Carlsbad, NM

Miles on the Road: 546

So when Don and Lisa finally decided to pull out from behind my truck Road Trip: Southwest could finally begin. I of course picked up Colin a few minutes late at the Austin Airport, but his plane got in early so he would have had to wait anyway. Realized C and I never discussed whether I was coming in to the airport to meet him or driving the little pick-up loop and I thought I would nice if I could call C on my cell phone … but hey, he doesn’t have one. I wonder if that will be an issue on the trip. Why is that all my friends seem to be the last ones on Earth to have the basic necessities like a cell phone?

We made good time to San Antonio, than lost a bunch of time when we entered the Riverwalk and turned the wrong way, and ended up by a little waterfall that I had never seen before and no restaurants. Unfortunately, Alison was on the real Riverwalk at the tex-mex restaurant and we had to walk like a mile and a half back to her. After lunch of fajitas (R) and enchiladas (C) we went to the Alamo which C remarked was ‘very small.’ Even though Alison and I both said it like three times before. We completed our tour of the Alamo in about 7 minutes, spending a little time by the big tree outside. Then we snuck into the Menger Bar (where Teddy Roosevelt recruited the roughriders) to use the bathroom. Then Alison drove us back to our car … since we were fricking tired of walking in the hot sun.

Then the first long drive. The rolling hills of San Antonio gave way to the awesome Mesas of Sonora gave way to the dull flat lands of Fort Stockton. By the way, we filled up the tank in Sonora at $3.19 a gallon… that set me back $60 – the most I have ever paid for Gas in my life. We at dinner at the “Steak House Restaurant” in Fort Stockton which featured a ‘stirring’ mural of horseys and cowboys across the entire fall. Aw… Filet Mignon… at least that’s what they called it. And damn fine chicken noodle soup.

The final drive to Carlsbad was in the dark, which was just as well because it looked like absolutely nothing to see. Flat flat flat. We then spent a few extra minutes finding our hotel because they had changed the name since we made the reservations.

Conversation Topics: What’s wrong with our Government

What’s wrong with our political system

Civilization 4

Average male penis size and length of sexual encounters

Nuclear Proliferation

Environmental Policy and what it can do for you.

The problems if organized Religion

Trying to remember any movies that came out this year that didn’t suck

Music: Kill Bill Soundtrack, Tori Amos, Pink Floyd, Death Cab for Cutie, Queen, Duran Duran, Genesis

French People Still Bitter for Being Bailed out of Two World Wars

2005-08-26T10:12:00.000-05:00

Okay get over it. Lance won your race. Seven times. In a row. He's an arrogant jerk. He abandoned his wife who stood by him while he went through chemo. And he has an advantage because his body doesn;t process pain the same way the rest of us do. But shut the fuck up about doping. I'm sorry you couldn't beat him. I'm sorry a frenchy hasn't won the Tour d' France in like 20 years. But you gotta let it go.

I'm not even really a Lance Armstrong fan, I just think this has gotten to the point of absurdity. The tests that recently 'uncovered' 'proof' of Lance doping in 1999 were not even carried out in a legal way. These are leftover samples frozen for six years. They were in fact anonymous, marked only by a number, and were supposed to be tested that way: why they weren't or how armstrong's name was tied to the samples is unknown. The official testing rules require both and A sample and B sample to confirm results, the A sample for these tests have been long since discarded, having been used in 1999 when they were found to contain no illegal substances. The new tests were done without Armstrongs knowledge or approval, both of which are required in the case of a retest of this nature. There is also the issue of Armstrong not being able to defend himself. He certainly cannot produce another 1999 sample.

Lance was tested countless times on the Tour D'France. In fact some reports state he was tested as much as 4 times more than any other rider. Can anybody say Witch Hunt? Lance certainly has. On Larry King last night he said: ".... if your career is riding on the line, wouldn't you want a B sample? The French have been after [me] forever, and 'whoops!' there's no B sample? The stakes are too high."

He's probably the greatest cyclist of all time. He has dominated his sport in a way that only Michael Jordan can understand. And he doesn't need to cheat. The french just need to get over it.

New Flash - Living With Bears is Dangerous

2005-08-25T11:18:00.000-05:00

So I love bears. I think they cute and fierce and live in these very interesting family units. But you couldn't pay me a zillion dollars to go live in a bear preserve, as amateur grizzly bear expert and wildlife preservationist Timothy Treadwell did for 13 years. GRIZZLY MAN is Werner Herzog documentry about Treadwell's tragic story, but it is more like a conversation than a history, as Herzog has some fundamental disagreements with his 'protagonists' ideas concerning nature. It's not revealing any big surprise to tell you Treadwell gets eaten by a bear, it's the whole reason behind the film. All the footage of he and the bears was shot during his 13 summers in Alaska, sometimes hand held, sometimes on a tripod so Timothy sould interact on camera with the bears. Herzog interviews other preservationists, friends and family of Treadwell in an attempt to put Treadwell's self-given mission is perspective. He also provides his own analysis of the thousands of hours of film and audio he studied.

Timothy Treadwell was certainly crazy. His on-going commentary with the camera is often hilarious but at other times frightening. I found myself a little uncomfortable in the theater watching the film, not really for the subject matter, but because of the reactions of the people around me. Don't get me wrong, there are many moments the film and Treadwell are very funny, but there are certainly other sequences that are so sad and honest and beautiful that I didn't understand people near me laughing. They were laughing at him - as in look at the retarded kid, lets all laugh at him. Treadwell suffered from severe manic depression, and wouldn't take his medication. He could not find the peace in the world of humans that he found in the world of the bears. He loves the bears. And he tells them, and the camera. Why do we laugh at that? I don't know. But it ruined my experience with this movie, and it made me hate my fellow man just a little bit more. Maybe I got to feel just a little bit of the misanthropy Treadwell felt.

I recommend GRIZZLY MAN for anyone who loves Animal Planet, Documentries, Bears, and hearing really strong german accents (Herzog's). Rick's Rating - B

Huggy Bear Bob sent to roam the wild

2005-08-24T09:50:00.000-05:00

University of Cincinnati president Nancy Zimpher was brought an end to an era of NCAA appearances, 25 win seasons, Student-Athelete arrests, and embarrassing drunken episodes by coach Bob Huggins tuesday, giving him 24 hours to accept a buyout or be fired. In sixteen season with the Bearcars, Huggins owns a 399-127 record, was named conference USA coach of the decade (90's), lead U Cin to the final four in 1992, and has put 10 players in the NBA, most natably Kenyon Martin. Impressive resume, no doubt. But the more interesting numbers for the Bearcats always are off the court.

I always joke that it is a good year for the University of Cincinnati if NCAA tourney victories outnumbered player infractions, arrests and suspensions. In recent years, that has been harder to accomplish, with Cincinni often upset in the first or second round despite racking up 25-29 wins in the regular season. Last night Dick Vitale was commending Huggins on graduating 11 of his last 17 players. Bragging? Of course this is in comparison to years of recruiting the most embarrassing scandal-as-athletes the NCAA has seen. Dontonio Wingfield did time for assaulting two cops responding to a call that he was allegedly beating his girlfriend, Donald Little assaulted and allegedly tortured his roommate, Shawn Myrick did time for sexual battery to name a few. Then there is the unforgetable Art Long (famed police horse puncher), the assistant coach (assistant coach???) charged with unethical conduct for "knowingly" violating NCAA rules and providing "false and misleading" testimony to investigators, and the whole program put on probation for 2 years.

Then there was the June 2004 police videotape of Huggins staggering during his field sobriety test that was shown nationally. Huggins pleaded no contest to driving under the influence, attended a three-day intervention program, and was suspended without pay by the university for two months. Problems continued this off-season when freshman Roy Bright was dismissed from the team because he had a gun on campus and Assistant coach Keith LeGree also was arrested and charged with drunken driving. In May, Nancy Zimpher, despite only being at her post for 2 years, notified Huggins that his contract would no longer receive the automatic roll-over it had for years: a power-play that caused university alumni to go into a tizzy, threatening to cancel donations. Zimpher stuck to her guns and upped the ante, offering Huggins a 3 million dollar buyout or immediate termination.

I really hope people stop defending Huggins. The kind of values he espouses have no place in collegiate basketball. His players play like thugz on and off the court and if he was any good as a couch on the court, he would consistently get out of the first weekend of the NCAA tournament and stop losing to teams like Tulsa and West VIrginia, or rather any team from a major conference. This year marks the debut of the Bearcats in the Big East, a 16 team powerhouse that should compete with the ACC all season as the strongest conference. It's a good time to make a change, and I respect Zimpher for doing what is best for the school in the long run, rather than just cater to the alumni.

IN MEMORIAM: Father of the Synthesizer:Robert Moog

2005-08-23T10:41:00.000-05:00

Today, Tarkus bows his head in mourning.

One of the guiding lights of electronic music finally faded yesterday as Robert Moog, inventor of the Moog Synthesizer, died at age 71. According to his company's website, Bob died at his home in Asheville, N.C. He was diagnosed with brain cancer in late April 2005.

The MOOG Synthesizer was the first truly successful attempt to generate musical sounds electronically and hit the music world in 1964. The true innovation was the piano-style keyboard (prior synthesizers were all switched and dials). After the incredibly influential SWITCHED ON BACH album by Wendy (Walter) Carlos in 1968 showed what the small, light and versatile machine could do, it was soon embraced by popular musicians searching for a 'new sound.' The Monkees use of the Moog on Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn, & Jones, Ltd. actually predated the Beatles use throughout the ABBEY ROAD album. Moog, however, found his biggest salesmen in Keith Emerson whose legendary solo at the end of ELP's first single "Lucky Man," caused sales to skyrocket. Bob Moog liked to tell a the story of his backstage experience during ELP's 1972 US tour, watching Emerson throw knives into his keyboard and having his musician friend call it "the end of the world." Another popular Moog user (and programmer) was Stevie Wonder who won numerous Grammy awards in 1973 for his synthesizer rich TALKING BOOK and in 1974 grabbed the 'Album of the Year' award with yet another Moog tainted album Innervisions. Bernie Worrell of Parliament/Funkadelic was another synthesizer show-man, as well as The Cure, Depeche Mode Duran Duran and Gary Numan.

But the Moog Synthesizer (as well as its followups, the MiniMoog, Micromoog, Minitmoog, Multimoog and Memorymoog) would always be connected with Progressive Rock. Keith Emerson said of the Moog in 2004 "the sound defined progressive music as we know it." The Moog was heard in the music of Genesis, Yes, Pink Floyd, Rush, Vangelis, Santana, Manfred Mann, and Kraftwerk among countless others. The entire cult of the keyboard player rose out of these musicians, showing off their new gear and what it could do. Along with Keith Emerson, other prog keyboard greats who used the Moog include Rick Wakeman, Patrick Moraz and Geoff Downs of Yes, Tony Banks of Genesis, Peter Bardens of Camel, David Sinclair of Caravan, Kerry Minnear of Gentle Giant, and Rick Wright of Pink Floyd.

As digital synthesizers became the standard in the eighties, Bob Moog and his synthesizers declined in importance. However, the mid-nineties saw many bands returning to the classic sound of the Moog and first and second generation Moogs became highly sought after by collectors and musicians, as well as the new synthesizers, theremins and bass pedals Moog was now building. New proponents of Moog products include Portishead, Nine Inch Nails, Air, Jason Mraz, the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, The Crystal Method, and Ricky Martin.

Charles Carlini, a New York City concert promoter, staged Moogfest in May 2004 to mark a half-century since Moog founded his first company while still in college. "A lot of people today don't realize what this man brought to the masses," Carlini said. "He brought electronic music to the masses and changed the way we hear music." He will be sorely missed by many, including myself. And Tarkus, the half-armadillo, half-tank.

Sometimes, it's less the Ending than what's Before It

2005-08-22T09:50:00.000-05:00

So as much as I thought CRASH was going to feel like a MAGNOLIA wannabe ... and was disappointed, I managed to experience that same outcome with HAPPY ENDINGS, yet another movie with an ensemble of stars whose lives criss-cross over each other, this time in a supposedly comic way. We know the film is a comedy because the side-titles (like subtitles but to the side of the picture) tell us so in a 'pop-up video' sort of convention which is less than consistent in it success rate. Writer/Director Don Roos likes to play with movie conventions... at least he did in his brilliant 1998 dark comedy THE OPPOSITE OF SEX starring Christina Ricci. He then turned in the unbelievably conventional BOUNCE with Affleck and Paltrow. HAPPY ENDINGS tries to capture some of that independent spirit of his first film (which by the way, features a great performance by Lisa Kudrow), in a more marketable story. Or stories rather. All of which are atleast as complicated in their own right as the one in THE OPPOSITE OF SEX.

This is one of the main issues with the movie, each storyline requires a lot of back story, and this is handled by the sidetitles, which immediately take us out of the scene and we miss dialogue and performances and have to spend time getting reacquainted to the scene when we are done reading, only to have another side title appear. For example, a scene near the opening of the movie with three new characters and new baby immediately side titles with something along the lines of 'Max has two mommies, they were trying use their friend Gil as a sperm donor but after a few monthes told him it wasn't working and got different sperm out of the sperm bank'... that's
a lot of information at the top of the scene. Where CRASH effortlessly handled everything we needed to know about a character in a few snippets of dialogue, Happy Endings gets burdened by it's own back story, where I actually ended up spending large parts of the movie trying to remember the character's histories as the story progessed.

Another major problem with HAPPY ENDINGS is that for a comedy, its not very funny. Some of the performances are amazing and very full of humor but often the situations are not... well, normal comedy situations. And they don't seem to be played for humor. When the side-titles keep telling us it's funny, it's almost as if the director is trying to convince himself.

Not that it isn't a movie worth seeing, Kudrow shows amazing depth of character as she continues to throw off the FRIENDS shackles of Phoebie. Jesse Bradford is very funny as her documentry-making blackmailer. Tom Arnold turns is a great subtle and serious performance as a widower looking for love. And Maggie Gyllenhall ... well, she's always great but this is the first time I've heard her sultry alto voice as she rises from karioke obscurity to lead a hapless band run by Tom Arnold's closeted son. And Bobby Cannavale (The Station Agent) turns another brilliant comedic performance as Javier, Kudrow's massuese/lover.

So it could have been a good movie, it's just very unfocused. And that can only be the fault of the director. No where is it more obvious than the ending, or rather endings of the movie which feel compelled to tie up every piece of the story and are dolled out endlessly over about 10 minutes.

I recommend this movie to fans of any of the above mentioned actors, people who are still recovering from BOUNCE, and people curious about how long your sperm can last in a bank. Rick's Rating: B-

OK, Not that I'm not feeling uninspired....

2005-08-19T09:01:00.000-05:00

But I have to give shout outs and lead you to two links that came from other friends... things that have given my hours of hilarity over the last few weeks.

Web site number one is the official page of chicago power pop band OK GO. OK Go released one of the best albums of 2002, featuring the ridiculously catchy get over it. Well, after two years on the road and 6 months writing like 60 songs, they are back. Their new album, Oh No, was produced by same man at the desk of Franz Ferdinand and will be released August 30. I will be seeing them at Stubbs on August 24th. Anyway, the reason you've got to go to this website is to watch the choreographed dance routine the band has developed to go with its new song, A Million Ways. They apparently debuted the dance at the Lollapalooza weekend in Chicago. Thanks to Scott for the lead.

Number two is this crazy free site which from what I gather is yet another on-line dating service, OK Cupid. No, I'm not on the prowl - I have the best wifey-wife ever - but I think they've allowed the CODE they use to match people, to be changed by members to create tests for any number of things, like the WOULD YOU HAVE BEEN A NAZI TEST which tests variables such as anti-tolerance and ultra-patiotism. Erin and I spent like 3 hours last night just taking silly tests and seeing how we rank against the rest of the world (or at least the 100,000 members). You can also test to see which MYTHOLOGICAL GOD your personality is closest to, whether you would survive a ZOMBIE INVASION and WHAT DIRECTOR SHOULD MAKE A FILM OF YOUR LIFE. Craziness. Thanks to Alison for this lead.

You what's funny... they both start with OK. I didn't even realize that when I sat down to blog...

Going to see Happy Endings tonight ... my movie list is getting backed up...

Bill Murray continuing to make me regret selecting Chevy Chase for my Fantasy Team

2005-08-18T10:30:00.000-05:00

You know with writer/director Jim Jarmusch (Ghost Dog, Dead Man) that it's atleast going to interesting, and more intellectual than the premise seems, but BROKEN FLOWERS was so good it's like he arrived out of no where. It's like he saw LOST IN TRANSLATION and said 'I can do that... better.' The two movies not only share their star Bill Murray (who will unfortunately probably be forgotten again by the oscars 8 monthes from now) in a detailed and subtle master performance, but both directors give their stories time to set, to live, to just be.

BROKEN FLOWERS is one of the simplest most compact stories in recent memory, and has perfect three act structure. Act One, Murray's life is interrupted by his girlfriend leaving and a note informing he has a son. Act Two, Murray visits each on of his former girlfriends in seperate episodes. Act Three, Murray returns to his life. But that doesn't do justice to the depth the story mines. And Murray is the perfect actor for the role. He looks like he has been through hell and is only now ready to come to terms with it...he is ready to finally grow up. If RUSHMORE announced Murray's rebirth as a film actor, FLOWERS is his graduation from school. I've never been so interested in watching a man drive a car and listen to music.

And Jarmusch is responsible for that. Each individual episode with an ex is a perfect character study. Hillarious and painful. And true. You never need to know anymore you always know there are hours you could watch of each relationship and be entranced. Jarmusch knows exactly watch to put in. And after each one, you are so exhausted you need that decompression time. You need that drive in the country listening to afro-cuban jazz.

I haven't even mentioned the stand out supporting cast, especially the parade of exes - Julie Delpy, Sharon Stone, Frances Conroy, Jessica Lange, and Tilda Swinton - all of whom create such interesting characters they deserve their own movie. And the writing is funny. Very funny. And the cinematography, simple and alluring. I highly recommend this movie to anyone appreciates a good well-made movie, anyone who's ever though 'I wonder what they're doing now,' amateur detectives, and people still recovereding from the MAN WHO KNEW TOO LITTLE. Rick's Rating: A

SPAM chunks in my Pudding

2005-08-17T09:37:00.000-05:00

Much to my surprise my Rocky Horror post yesterday elicited 4 spam comments. I don't know how this works, as far as spammers reading blogs and posting their little comments... obviously they would need some sort of program to make it worth the effort. And why was it the Rocky Horror post that got them excited? It is very strange. So I updated my blog's preferences and now only 'registered' users can comment ... I think this just means you have to fill out your email etc. instead of posting as anonymous. Please let me know if you have any problems (you know my email if you are a real person).

So in honor of my first experience with SPAM, I give you the Monty Python Spam Sketch. And I propse this, to test if we can all still post... propose a spam breakfast menu item of your very own...

Man (Eric Idle): You sit here, dear.
Wife (Graham Chapman in drag): All right.
Man (to Waitress): Morning!
Waitress (Terry Jones, in drag as a bit of a rat-bag): Morning!
Man: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;
Vikings (starting to chant): Spam spam spam spam...
Waitress: ...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam...
Vikings (singing): Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornaysauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
Wife: Have you got anything without spam?
Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
Wife: I don't want ANY spam!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got spam in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam (crescendo through next few lines)
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?
Waitress: Eewwww!
Wife: What do you mean 'Eewwww'? I don't like spam!
Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up!Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.
Wife (shrieks): I don't like spam!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam and spam!
Vikings (singing): Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have spam instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings (singing elaborately): Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!

The Time Warp from 15 years ago

2005-08-16T11:12:00.000-05:00

So my wife and I were flippping channels late on friday night after watching a very satisfying Broken Flowers (reveiw to come) and settled upon a pair or rosy red lips on like encore or bravo. "Michael Rennie was ill" the lips sang and I knew was caught. I probably haven't seen the ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW since college but, to land haphazardly on the first lyric from the first song, I couldn't change the channel. And I still knew every word. I looked over at Erin and caught her singing as well.

Rocky Horror was a huge part of my high school experience, from sing alongs at parties to even going as far as ordering the script and planning a production of the stage play the movie was based on (it never happened, of course). My silly friends and I argued unceasingly over who should be in what role. I've got to admit though, looking back on it, what bunch of pathetic fakers we all were. A strange thing happened in 1990, after years of being unavailable, Rocky Horror was released on videotape. Finally, after years of only being able to witness the cult film with hundreds of weirdos in costumes and props, you could watch it in your living room with your parents (I did). You could buy a cd or cassette tape of the audience participation version of the film, so you would know what to scream at the screen. And if you watched the special documentry that was relased that year to commemorate the 15th anniversary you knew what to bring and how to act at a showing. THat's right, no more 'rocky horror virgin embarrassment' as had become the standard. You could pass yourself off as a fan who just moved into the city and fake it.

Or you could do what we did, which was not go to the show at all but instead try to do it in the living room of every house that had a party for like a year. Now I'm sure a few people went into chicago to see it on the big screen, but it was a very few and it was only a couple times. I never went. And I was planning on doing a live stage version. The arrogance. And we didn't even do a good job in our living rooms. Costumes were rare, props were few and far between. It was basically singing-along, jumping up and acting if it was your 'part' and pretending we knew all the oh-so-witty comebacks that people in a real audience would say. It was probably also an excuse to make out with people you weren't dating (this was common amongst my group of friends) .

I'm watching this movie and a few thoughts occur to me. 1) the music stands up to time. The songs are still great. 2) the movie itself is not all that great. watching it in your living room, anytime there is not a song going on you are anxious to get to the next one, or thinking about how awful the acting in the film is (which is intentional, but doesn't make it a more enjoyable experience alone or with a friend ... only with a group of 300 strangers). 3) it really fizzles out at the end. I mean, what little plot there is, is disregarded for a 'stage show', and then RIff Raff and Magenta start gunning people down for no reason and the house takes off. 4) I really ripped myself off and the 15th anniversary release is to blame. If I hadn't been able to watch the movie at home I would have had to go downtown. We all would, and we would have experienced the movie as 15 years of fans before us had. And it would have been something, I don't know, special, instead of very very silly.

So I make this pledge, my children, if and when they come, are not allowed to watch ROCKY HORROR at home until they see it in the theatre with the freaks of the world. They can listen to the cd but not the audience particpation version. They can have a list of props to bring to the show but not information on what to do with them. I think we should all make this pledge. Because it's important. And maybe, if I go with them, and watch them suffer their virgin experience, I too will be able to steal that experience back for myself.

Rick (a.k.a. Eddie)

1 movie, 15 plot lines...the clash between real life and fantasy

2005-08-12T08:49:00.000-05:00

I think CRASH has played longer in Austin then anywhere else, mostly on the basis that Sandra Bullock once tried to build a house here. I went to a mid-week matinee showing and was surprised to see 50 other people there. My delay in seeing the Paul Haggis (screenwriter: MILLION DOLLAR BABY) written/directed movie caused mainly by a trailer which bore a striking resemblence to one of my favorite movies of the last few years, MAGNOLIA. Erin saw the film over a month ago and loved it... so I figured I better go see it...

And guess what, it bore a striking resemblence to MAGNOLIA. But that wasn't neccessarily bad. For those who didn't see/can't remember, Paul Thomas Anderson's Magnolia follows a huge ensemble of characters loosely connected by birth or chance encounters, each one spiralling out of control in their own self-created disaster until they stop, sing about it, and are saved by a mystical storm of frogs because, well, "these things happen." And that's the point of the story, chance occurrences are anything but and their is a magical force working in the world. All the stories are tied up and everyone achieves a bloom (like a magnolia flower) by the end of the film.

CRASH says, in the immortal words of Ice T back in the early nineties "shit ain't like that! it's real fucked up!" This film also has an all-star cast and takes place over 24 hours where everyone is loosely connected by birth or chance encounters... but, where Anderson's film leaves you with a feeling that something is protecting us, Haggis seems to be telling us that life is more complex than that. THe way all the story climax one after the other, and the way some resolve well, others, well, not so well ... it rings much truer. Magnolia is a fantasy, it is powerfully created to take us on a journey to an end. Crash is just that, a messy destructive accident that leaves some unharmed and others permanently scarred (or dead). They are equally moving and effective. The ensemble in Crash is phenomenal with standout work from Matt Dillon, Brendan Fraser, Terrance Howard and Ludacris (those two need to keep making movies together) and Ryan Phillipe. Sandra turns in what may be the best performance of her career in a role you would never expect. The writing is top-notch and really gets us into the character's lives even with just short snippets. THis is especially exemplery considering Crash had one less hour in which to work than Magnolia. Another advantage that Crash has going for it is a stronger theme rtunning through the film. It is mainly about racism, not the traditional 'we don't serve your kind here,' but the more informative and prevelent snap judgements we make about everyone we meet ... and how those play out in the long run. Crash is very good at making you feel a certain about a character and then showing you an hour later how wrong you were. In fact the only element where Crash fails the comparison is the music, which is at times, over the top and too showy. Of course, Magnolia was essentially written around the songs of Aimee Mann, so you would have to expect they would fit better intot he story.

Still, I highly recommend CRASH for lovers of drama, ensemble stories, people who think they aren't racist, and people considering a move to LA anytime soon :). Rick's Rating: A-

The Tale of Two Suspensions

2005-08-10T10:31:00.000-05:00

Yesterday an arbitrator ruled that the original 20 game suspension imposed of Kenny Rogers for assualting a camera man was too harsh. This was Rogers' second appeal, the first being a non-sensical appearance before Bud Selig, the man who laid down the original suspension. The arbitrator felt that 13 games was enough and also converted the $50,000 fine imposed by Selig into a charitable contribution. Today Rogers will face the AL East leading Boston Red Sox, welcome back.

I have said from day one that Selig's punishment was far to harsh... it came only days after Gary Sheffield threw a punch into the stands of Fenway after fan interferrence, but, fortunately for him, he missed. He then shouted at the fans and maintained his distance. Sheffield did not receive a suspension or even a warning. In fact, he was praised by the media for his 'restraint.' But the real comparison I'd like to draw is to our favorite Viagra spokesmen, Raffy Palmeiro. A man who, during the pursuit of one of the most important milestones of any baseball player's career, actively cheated and lied to congress. His suspension was 10 games. That is the mandatory first violation penalty with the anemic drug abuse policy of MLB. What's especially funny is the way these haved been portrayed (by the media and by baseball administrators). Rogers was taken to the police station, released on bail and subject to criminal proceedings. I have no idea what Raffy has been doing lately, he certainly hasn't been talking to anyone. But the last time I checked, isn't using an illegal drug considered illegal? Is it somehow less illegal than a physical confrontation? Is it somehow better behavior exhibited for baseball, better P.R., or maybe... dare I quote Jose Canseco, better business?

Raffy uses steriods for who knows how long, puts up hall of fame numbers, lies to congress, and gets 10 games. Rogers proves he doesn't know when to walk away and when to run, and gets 20 games. It's a simple point. Baseball needs to get its head out of its ass and deal with what is really wrong with the game. It's not one of its journeyman pitchers finally having a great season. It's that fact that the entire legacy of baseball is being threatened by the abundant steriod abuse of the last 10 years that everyone has looked away from. And yes, Raffy's numbers (one of 4 players with 500 Home Runs and 3000 hits) are offensive to history, but the real perpetrator, who is conveniently out with an injury this season, is Barry Bonds. His 73 Home Runs in a season and pursuit of Babe Ruth and Hank Aaron's career totals is disgusting. This man has the power to ruin baseball. He's a dirty cheater and he is on record having taken steriods. And no punishment. I don't care if baseball had not drug testing at the time. They should have. Selig needs to stopping worrying about running his little empire and and instead work on saving it.

Cute Creatures Score Big With Hit Movie

2005-08-09T09:48:00.000-05:00

The run away family hit of the summer is a documentry. It may not make as much money as silliness like Sky High, but sitting in a packed theater four weeks after opening, I couldn't help but experience what crowds of people already have from MARCH OF THE PENGUINS. This is a story for families, and anyone who wants to have a family. It's a love story, a story of dedication, and a story of overcoming ridiculous adversity. Oh and it has cute baby penguins in it. Morgan Freeman provides the narration for the piece, heartwaming and often funny; he guides us along the journey of Antartica's emperor penguins, who, at 4 feet tall, walk some 70 miles across frozen tundra to their breeding ground and go monthes without food while laying and protecting their eggs. The cinematograpy, not surprisingly, is spectacular. I actually started to freeze in the theater after constant snow storm scenes. Did I mention the cute baby penguins?

The trial these creatures go through is amazing, and I can't imagine a better documentry on penguin breeding, that being said, it did at times feel like something I could have been watching on the discovery channel (which I rarely watch) so be ready. Unlike MURDERBALL which feel like a movie that just happens to be a documentry, this is very much a nature documentry that just happens to be playing in a movie theater. It is well worth seeing it on the big screen though, both for the beautiful snowy vistas and the communal viewing experience. One other word of caution, this is not necessarily for very small children. Nature can be harsh. That's all I am going to say. I cried at several places (yes I am a big baby) but its said. Because the penguin babies are so cute. I recommend this movie for animal lovers, documentry fiends, national geographic subscribers, and people who love Sea World. Rick's Rating: B+

PC Police Arrest Chief Illiniwek

2005-08-08T11:42:00.000-05:00

After a few years notable by their absence, the Political Correctness Police once again reared their ridiculous heads into America's universities, this time attacking the most notorious abusers of civil liberties, the college mascot. On Friday the NCAA issued a ban on Native American mascots in post-season tournements, effective Feb 1st. The ban extended not only to the appearance of the character in costume but to the inclusion of the name of the team on uniforms. The NCAA listed 18 schools whose nicknames or mascots were deemed "hostile or abusive" including the Utah Utes, the Florida State Seminoles and the University of Illinois Fighting Illini.

This catastrophy only proves how out-of-touch the NCAA is with university life. A number of the schools is question were named IN HONOR of said tribe, such as the Illini, whose Chief Illiniwek was named after the loose confederation of Algonquin tribes that once lived in the region. The name literally means 'they are men.' Since 1930, the student portraying Chief Illiniwek has appeared in an authentic outfit designed by a member of the Sioux Nation and performs a traditional Indian dance for which he is specially trained. As for FSU, the Seminole Tribe of Florida passed a resolution in June supporting the school's use of the nickname and tribal images. Florida State President T.K. Wetherell blasted the NCAA and threatened legal action. "Florida State University is stunned at the complete lack of appreciation for cultural diversity shown by the National Collegiate Athletic Association's executive committee," Wetherell said Friday in a statement, "that the NCAA would now label our close bond with the Seminole Tribe of Florida as culturally 'hostile and abusive' is both outrageous and insulting."

Myles Brand (president of the NCAA) just doesn't get it. The ban, which is offensive to anyone with intelligence, is not even equally distributed. Football, which has no official postseason tournament (we'll to discuss the BCS mess in monthes to come I'm sure) is not affected. Several schools with nicknames Warriors and Braves were passed over by the ban because they do not use Indian symbols. The North Carolina-Pembroke Braves will not face sanctions because the school's student body has historically admitted a high percentage of American Indians and more than 20 percent of the students are American Indians. Seems pretty arbitrary, huh? Oh and Cheerleading and Band Uniforms at the 'offending schools' have until 2008 to comply...

Let's be honest... teams are named after things that are strong and powerful - things that overcome adversity to succeed. How can that possibily offensive? Not to mention it is an offense to history to suggest that many of the the Native American tribes were not warlike, strong and powerful. It was a part of many nation's culture that their braves prove themselves in battle ... a facet that was taken away and limited by the US governement as we continually encroached on their ceremonial hunting grounds and made them lay down weapons. Are we just saying we shouldn't name our teams after groups of people? To have a team named after you is automatically an offense to your pride? SHould the long suffering industrial workers of Indiana be offended by the the Purdue Boilermakers? How about descendents of Vikings and their bone to pick with Cleveland State? Trojans? Spartans? How about the Raging Cajuns? Or the Hustling Quakers (of Earlham)? Or like the Saints (over 20 schools)? Oh and we haven't even talked about the affront to all barbarian tribes of the Northern Europe circa 400 AD made by the Idaho Vandals. Why is it consider an honor when you call your team the Patriots (George Mason), but an insult when you call them the Chippewas (Central Michigan)? And when will the PETA people join in? Certainly naming all these teams after animals (wolverines, bearcats, longhorns) only instills in peoples minds the brutality of animals when really we should think of them as peaceful creatures of nature.

GET THE FUCK OVER IT!!!!!! That's really what I have to say. Teams are named out of honor. It is an honory position. You would not want to name your team after something that sucks (see the WNBA for a list of hapless nicknames it is hard to cheer for: the shock, the sparks). And university mascots are part of the great tradition that makes college atheletics so endearing. At the start of a Florida State Football game, a student dressed as Chief Osceola rides onto the field on a spotted horse and plants a flaming spear in the turf. How fucking cool is that? When you start to PC police something like that you are missing the entire point - sports are competitive, competition is part of our national identity, as are Native Americans, are we trying to remove their great legacy from our collective conscience? I hope the schools will fight this silly trend and use it as an opportunity show us, instead, the honor the teams feel being connected to the Native American story.

Jury still out on Supreme Court Nominee

2005-08-05T09:45:00.000-05:00

I said weeks ago that we were going to be told how to feel about Herr President's most important nomination, John Roberts, but I must admit, I still an unsure where most people stand. The initial uproarus approval has toned down somewhat amongst the Republicans, and no one in the Democrats seem to know what to make of the man. It may be his sparse record to this point, it may also be the man is really good at hiding what he is really thinking. For my own part I try to glean from various articles and quotes where he is going to stand on certain important issues, and every time I think I know something, something else comes up. Who is this guy and what game is he playing? As far as I can tell, he may not be qualified to be on the supreme court but he also appears to be neither the Devil Incarnate that liberals fear nor the Conquering Hero that conservatives want. From here, he appears to be someone who may in fact do just fine in the position.

I don't want to argue whether or not Roberts is qualified. He clearly isn't. The Supreme Court is an appointment someone reaches after years of services and experience in lower courts. It is the pinnacle of a lifetimes work, not something given to you after 18 months at the district level. I don't want to argue whether or not Roberts is a good lawyer. He clearly is. Everyone keeps referring to him as brilliant and many important people and organizations have depended on his services and advice. Every private meeting Roberts has taken has ended with the Senator in question being convinced of his abilities as a lawyer.

I generally think that a president has the right to appoint whoever he wants. It's part of the job. The senate also has the right to interrogate this person and to fillibuster if they have to, that's their job. I will be interested to see what comes out of the approval hearings, but we will never really know how Roberts will adjudicate until he is there on the bench. I also know this about lawyers in private practice (I happen to be married to a very cute one :) - they often take on cases and clients that they don't agree with, and argue positions they don't fully beleive. IT'S WHAT THEY ARE PAID TO DO. Furtherfore, if the president of the United States of America askes you to write a memo arguing a certain position froma certain side, you do it. THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE PAID TO DO.

It has recently come out that the supposedly arch-conservative argued very non-conservative sides of several issues: representing homeless men and women who had lost their government benefits because of city budget cuts, advocating environmental protections for Lake Tahoe, Glacier Bay and the Grand Canyon, and spending 25 hours assisting a convicted murderer with a death penalty appeal. He even helped gay rights activists win a landmark Supreme Court anti-discrimination case. Does that make me feel better about him? Of course. Does it worry the conservatives? Maybe. Do we really know how he stands on those issues? No, although his gay rights work was pro-bono, which you can always turn down. Again, even if he's not completely balanced, he looks like he is able to see it from the other side, which is important, and something a few of our current supreme court judges can't do.

So here you have it, I say put him on. I don't think Herr President has any better up his sleeve and Roberts at least looks capable of forming his own opinions.

WHo Would Have Thought Viagra Could Have Such An Effect on your Swing?

2005-08-04T10:11:00.000-05:00

So Rafael Palmeiro is a steriod user. Add him to the list of meaningless accomplishments of the last ten years in basebal. Raffy, Barry, Jose, McGwire, Sammy, Bret Boone. Oh, did I say that? Am I just bitter because he hit .170 for the twins in his month try-out. Probably. But I point it out to show the pure meaninglessness of statistics amassed in the last ten years. Palmeiro recently became only the fourth player in history to collect 500 Home RUns and 3000 hits. Even Babe Ruth never did that. But, like Barry Bonds 73 dingers, its completely utterly bullshit. The 'steriod era' as we are now going to refer to it, is generally believed to have begun in 1993 or 94. Raffy's numbers prior to 93? Season totals of 8, 8, 14, 26, 22. In 1993 Raffy turned 29, the age at which most plays 'top out.' His next 5 full season totals? 37,39,39,38,43. Then at age 35 he hits 47 home runs, a feat he repeats at age 37. Come on. THis is a guy who hit 8 home runs in his athletic prime. I know people can improve their swing - but that's an awful lot of improvement.

Raffy has Hall of Fame numbers for sure, but they are hardly legit, and his legacy is totally in question now as he under investigation for lying under oath to congress. But Raffy is really just the new whipping boy for Steroids. Bonds has had that job for last two years, but he's not playing so we need someone new to turn on. THe problem with this mentality is it really takes the focus away on how WIDESPREAD the problem is. It is not a few players, its the fact that the WHOLE FRICKING LEAGUE conspired to turn the other ways as mediocre players racked up huge numbers got big pay checks and filled seats. Lets look at another player, Brett Boone. Boone has played his entire career in the Steriod Era. His 250 HRs as a second basemen make him an outside shot at the Hall at best, his .266 batting average will not help. But here's a guy who hit an average of 12 homers a year for the first five years of his carear, managed to scrape out 24, 20, and 19 and then suddenly hit 35 at age 33. What? (Oh he also hit .331 that year). This is not a high profile player, just a 2nd basemen who decided he wanted to be a little more competitive.

I can't help but look at ever player now a wonder, does he, doesn't he? 10 game suspensions are a joke. One of the greatest baseball players of all time was banned for throwing a world series he hit .367 during. If someone is actively cheating they are ruining the game. Until DOnald Fehr and the silly players association gets behind the drug testing policy whole-heartedly we'll never really know if our favorite players are superstars, or just super pharmcy shoppers.

Must Love John Cusack (or at least pity him after this)

2005-08-03T09:24:00.000-05:00

Romantic Comedies are pretty predictable - and fall under the guy meets girls guy loses girl guy gets girl formula - I know, I am writing one right now. THat doesn't mean they can't be funny, fresh and exciting. The great rom-coms, like WHEN HARRY MET SALLY, or say HIGH FIDELITY, sparkle with their witty insightful understanding of the human condition. MUST LOVE DOGS, unfortunately, only insight seems to be that older women better find a man soon or their family will hound her to they do. The pure sexism of the script (adapted by a tv scribe from someone else's book) is especially offensive, considering this movie's target audience - it may be the only movie of the summer aimed at women over the age of 25. The movie goes even as far as to make the male hero (Cusack) almost blameless, whereas the Diane Lane, the protagonist, comes off as puttering, irresponsible, desperate, and kind of, well, easy.

Don't get me wrong, there are moments of the MUST LOVE DOGS that are very funny. John Cusack is incredibly endearing, and every scene he is in is atleast amusing. His scenes with Lane are, as they should be, the highlight of the film. They have a real chemistry on screen. SOmetimes their dialogue gets bogged down in somewhat hokey writing which doesn't feel like things anyone would say, but usually the delivery rises above it. Other good performances are turned in by Stockard Channing, as the Lane's father's girlfriend, and Glenn Howerton, as Cusack's sleazy lawyer friend.

The movie really takes a turn for the dull in the third act where it plays out like a paint-by-numbers sreenplay, with dialogue repeated from earlier, chance meetings, voice overs, and pay-offs on comments like 'I'd never get in a boat' ... It really kind of fall apart in the end, but of course they do get together and everyone is happy, even the butcher at the local grocery story who has twice before looked down on Lane because she wanted to buy a single chicken breast. Overall not very inspiring and pretty offensive to the feminist inside of me. It's not a bad movie, its just one that could have been made a lot better with talent invested in the cast. The movie is recommended for huge fans of John Cusack, mopey people who want reflections of their mopiness, a year and half from now on HBO, and those who local cinema is only showing one movie, this one. Rick's Rating: C+

Herr President Shoves 'Tempermental Jerk' into UN Job

2005-08-02T09:40:00.000-05:00

So once again Herr President has shown himself completely ignorant of a) the way appointments work, b) the importance of the UN and c) what most Americans feel. Despite a recent poll showing that 71% of AMericans didn't believe Bolton should receive a recess appointment, there he was, standing up on a podium... a place that Democrats and at least one prominent Republican have been trying to keep him from ... at least until they had enough information to make a decision about his capability to fill the post.

This was never an argument about whether or not Bolton could do the job ... that could not be adequately discussed because of the WHite House's continual reluctance to release documents. What are they hiding? I mean, if they didn't make him look bad, why not release them? Obviously there is something in the documents that reflect poorly upon Bolton's ability to do the job. Carl Ford, the former chief of the State Department's Bureau of Intelligence and Research, called Bolton "a quintessential kiss-up, kick-down sort of guy" and a "serial abuser" of subordinates. Is someone we want representing our country at the UN?

The UN is becoming increasingly important in shaping the world. Whereas Herr President has often igored its importance in the past (by say going to war), and the US has a long history of slighting the UN (we've never paid our yearly dues for membership), the UN has been critical in bringing together allies and enemies to talk rather than fight... the porpuse of its creation. With more and more rogue states popping up, a unified global front will be especially important, and only a body like the UN can provide that.

Of course, the US has decided to be represented at this all important global stage by a man who has dismissed its importance. Would you hire me for a job at a company I didn't think was very important? Come on, that's ridiculous. THis is yet another example of Herr President's gross abuse of power. I can only hope that the appointment of a guy who looks like my former high school physics teacher to international diplomacy doesn't come back to haunt us.

It's that time in the summer I always feel like I need to WHOOP THAT TRICK.

2005-08-01T09:17:00.000-05:00

Have you seen the trailers for the latest John Singleton movie? That silly thing with Mark Wahlberg and his black brothers revenging the murder of their adoption agency working mother? Anyone see 2 Fast 2 Furious? How about that awful remake of Shaft? In the first half of the ninties, Singleton made 2 of my favorite films of all time, Boyz in the Hood and Higher Learning - if you missed either of them you are doing yourself a disservice. I remember being entranced the morning after Prom, watching HBO with my very whiote girlfirend in her very suburban home, in awe of the talent in Singleton's first flick. What the hell happened to this guy?

Singleton however shows up as producer of the movie he certainly wishes he had made, the near-perfect HUSTLE AND FLOW, a gritty rags to (about to be) riches story of a pimp who goes legit to be a rapper. I cannot say enough about the cast, all of whom turn out breathtaking and full performances. Every character in the film has an arc and each actor fills their screen time with deft control and luminescent brillance. The cinematagrophy captures the life, lots of nice long establishing shots of the dirty south. Of course, with a movie about a rapper you gotta have the music to back it and HUSTLE really comes through here, both with the music selection and the original music 'composed' by D-JAY for the movie, which is really fricking good (and it takes a lot for me to like hip-hop/rap) .

This is a solid movie with mass market appeal - I am not surprised that MTV jumped on board to help with distribution. I hope that we will see much more from first time writer/director craig brewer and he does not follow too closely the path of Singleton and start making studio trash. I recommend HUSTLE AND FLOW for anyone who likes good movies, fans of hip-hop, fans of Boyz in the Hood, and anyone with a need to Whoop that Trick! Rick's Rating - A

p.s. Mom ... you will like the ending - go see this movie.

Republican Braces up for (Unannounced) Presidential Bid

2005-07-29T09:59:00.000-05:00

Let me start by saying I hate this man. His views on religion in government and abortion make him pretty high on my get-this-guy-away-from-my-government list. However, I always think in terms of issues and not people (or party affiliation which seems to be increasinly irrelevent as the partys merge into one amorphous blob to underrepresent America). The issue is stem cell research. The view Herr President has taking is not only ridiculous but also reveals his inablitiy to seperate his fear of what his flawed mind does not understand from what is good for the country. A majority of Americans favor stem cell research, between 60 and 85% depending on the poll and how it is worded. The Governator in California already bailed on Herr President on the issue, pushing through a huge funding initiative. So did Nancy Reagan, wife of the last great Republican president (I know some of you are groaning right now, but its what I beleive, and that's not what this article is about - by the way, I'm sure President Reagan would have supported stem cell research. He liked science.)

The newest refugee from the Bush camp is none other than religious right darling, Bill Frist. Frist, a former physician, said the measure to expand funding and the lines of cells eligible, which has already passed the republica-controlled house, would have his support in the senate. Arlen Spector, the bill's sponsor said "I know that the president will listen to what Sen. Frist has had to say, I'm not saying he is going to agree with it but ... I think may bring us all together on this issue." Frist's change of heart also brought praise from Democrats. Harry Reid, Senate Democratic leader, stated "It is a decision that will bring hope to millions of Americans," adding "I know there's still a long ways to go with the legislation, but a large step has been taken by the majority leader today ... and I admire the majority leader for doing it."

So what the heck is going on here? Well, past the obvious point that Herr President's stance is completely absurd, anti-intellectual, and spits in the face of the scientific comunity, Frist is simply moving back toward center. He knows his views on abortion will give the religious right enough to smile over, and he is trying to woo a few more centrists. Whether it will work remains to be seen, pro-life and pro-stem cell research is a shaky policy at best, but not nearly as dire as The Christian Defense Coalition makes it out to be, vowing that Frist will not have their endorsement if he votes for the bill. I myself could never vote for him, but their seems to be fewer and fewer Republicans that I could. Whoever Frist runs against in the primary, you can be sure that his 'flip-flop' on the issue will come up, but at least his political urges have lead him to support something that this country can really use. Sometimes, the reasons are irrelevent, as long as the right thing gets done.

Twins Turn the Corner on Playoff Run

2005-07-28T10:24:00.000-05:00

You heard it here first, last night represents the turning point in the toughest season in the last five years for the MINNESOTA TWINS. The Twinkies, who have battled injuries and immature infielders all year long, bested the evil empire last night on the arms of Johan Santana and Torii Hunter, 7-3. Santana, last year's unamious AL Cy Young Award Winner, scattered seven hits over seven shut out innings, striking out five. Minnesota has been struggling for runs the last several games so when Derek Jeter rounded third in an attempt to tie the game at one in the third, it felt like it might be another devasting loss to the Yankees. But Torii Hunter threw him out at the plate, and the Twins held on till they put three more runs on the board in the the seventh.

The Twins offense has anemic this year, so scoring seven runs off the Yankees, who I consider their arch rival (I know the White Sox are their division rival but they usually split or beat the Sox, they ALWAYS lose to the Yankees) has to mean the time is now! The Twins are 11 games back from the White Sox but only a half game back on the Athletics in the Wild Card race. I don't know if they'll catch the Sox ... but they do have a ton of games coming up against them so... but I think the wild card is easily with in their reach. Pitching has been solid over the last month, Mauer is really showing the promise that was promised and Stewart has been on base every fricking inning as usual. Last night also featured big contributions for Hunter and Jacque Jones. If Jobu can wake the bats up for the final push, it's in the bag. Look for big contributions from recent pick up Bret Boone, who has a lot to prove... oh and maybe a trade in the next four days to bring another bat to the Twin Cities. Maybe a real third basemen. We'll see.

But you heard it here first.

Chocolate Same Amount of Sweetness as Original Product

2005-07-27T11:52:00.000-05:00

Let me start with two disclaimers. 1. I hate Hollywood remakes. I think one of the least original things that someone can do in movieville is remake a movie that has already been made. 2. I love Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. It was probably on my list of favorite movies till I was like 16 ... meaing it holds a very special place in my heart (as does the original veruca but more on that later). That being said I thought the Tim Burton/Johnny Depp CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY was a fun, enjoyable night at the movies, one during which I laughed a lot and smile even more.

Johnny Depp is 'really weird' as he states during the movie, but he's great. He sparkles on the screen. The other (not surprising) thing sparkling in this film is the art direction. Everything looks great - the colors, the images, the costumes, the strange machines, everything. Fine performances are turned in by the entire ensemble including Helena BOnham Carter (with really bad teeth) as Charlie's mother and CHrostopher Lee (with really good teeth) as Wonka's dentist father.

So why did I leave disappointed? What did I want out of the movie?

I think I wanted a reason for the movie to exist. I was fairly happy with the original. Now I have been told that this movie is supposed to be more true to the book... Here is my issue, nothing very essential to the story was added. THe lengthening of the story before and after the trip to the factory (i.e. charlie's family) just serves to lengthen the time away from what makes the story interesting. CHarlie is by far the dullest character in the movie (and the original and the book). THat is part of the cenceit - he is a normal good kid who gets rewarded. That however, does not make for very intersting cinema. THe original movie dealt with this by a) getting to the factory as soon as possible and ending the story there b) adding a scene where charlie does something 'bad' - the floating to the fan scene and c) making there some question about whether charlie was going to steal info for slugworth. The new movie fails in all those areas, CHarlie is by far duller than the orginal charlie, and that's really hard. Don't get me wring, I'm not saying this is the fault of the actor, who is really quite sweet and cute - but the character its self is flawed. It has no arc. It goes no where. He is left unchanged by his experiences in the whole movie. And if that's not a recipe for disaster I don't know what is.

Another difference is the music. Now I must make anoth admission: I hate Danny Elfman. I think all his music sounds the same and if I never hear the soundtrack to nightmare before christmas again I will die a happy man. But WILLIE WONKA is a musical. CHARLIE is not. the only singing in the new movie is done by the oompa loompas (and animatronic puppets at the entrance of the factory). I enjoyed each one of the oompa songs individualy, but they did not have the same effecct on the movie as in the original, where they feel like one song which is continually reprised. Everyone remembers the oompa lumpas, everyone can sing there little song...remember their warnings. That's not true in this one.

Then there is the matter of Veruca Salt. Now most young boys develop a sort of crush on her (leading inevitably to years of dating girls you could never possibly please). SHe has the best song in the original film, and best way of getting her ticket. Anyway, she is basically a non-entity in the new movie, being completly outdone by Violet, the over competitive gum chewing daughter of a pagaent queen. Oh and she is a black belt in karate. So what will that lead the boys to date in the future? Only time well tell, but she was definitely the best of the kids. RIP Veruca.

Overall I recommend this movie to people who can't get enough candy, people who love Tim Burton, or Johnny Depp, and people just curious to see another movie about WIllie WOnka: B-

Don't Pick on the Kid in the Wheelchair, He Might Kick Your Ass!

2005-07-26T09:49:00.000-05:00

Only a few years ago I issues one of my infamous dismissive blanket statements, something along the line of "all documentries are boring." The Spellbound happened, and Hands on a Hard Body, and Super Size Me, and Farenheight 9/11, and I must admit now I find myself anxiously awaiting the next wave of documentries to be unleashed by festivals each year.

MURDERBALL won the audience award and the special jury prize in the documentry category at Sundance this year, and its easy to see why. Wheelchair Rugby is a balls to wall exciting sport - every participant, by virtue of being able to play, is an amazing and movie story themselves, and the 'plot,' which follows the US Team from the world championships in 2002 to the Paralympics in 2004 in Athens benefits from falling out in a surprisingly traditional 3 act structure. The movie even has a great villian, in ex US star now Team Canada coach Joe Soares, whose arrogance and drive to win (even at the expense of his family's happiness) is gut-wrenching.

On the forces of good side, MURDERBALL gives us Austin resident Chris Zuppan (who looks a lot like a bad ass version of my good friend Jeremy), a man who fell asleep in the back of a truck at age 17 and woke up flung 45 feet into the air into a canal where he hung onto a tree for 13 hours till someone found him... yeah, wow. He is the captain of Team USA both on the court and off, as we see him visit a rehab center and introduce new qudrapelegics to the game and inspire them to see their lives are not over. Another moving moment (yeah, I cried) is when Zuppan is reunited with his high-school friend, the man who drove the truck (drunk and not even knowing his best friend was in the back).

This movie kicks ass. It's funny (lines such as 'we don't want a hug, we want to win'), it's moving, it's exciting, and it's inspiring. You owe it to yourself to see this film, and to take others to see it as well. Rick's Rating: A -

TNT takes us INTO THE WEST one last time

2005-07-22T09:40:00.000-05:00

So may usual opinion on TV is that if it's on... I probably don't want to watch it. Many of you know I lived 4 consecutive years without cable, and thus no television, so moving in with Erin a few years ago brought me into a whole new world of reality garbage, docudramas and ... well Fox news. Not that Erin watches Fox news, certainly not, just that it was on ... and the way TV can be used to manipulate stupid people... it all disgusts me. Even seemingly innocent shows such as American Idol manipulate people into buying cds attending concerts of so-called 'stars' who are only stars because they are on TV.

In the past two years I have really come to appreciate sports TV, I find it an easy area of common bonding that I may do with my fellow human (i.e. we can't all agree on who should be running this country, but we can agree that the Chicago Cubs will never be able to win the world series). And it was in my quest to be in the know with the NBA playoffs that I became aware of TNT's summer blockbuster mini-series INTO THE WEST. Now truth be told, my initial reasons for watching were pretty self centered: I have a screenplay on the backburner about an Indian Chief ... so I thought I should check it out.

Well, 10 hours later I tempted to call INTO THE WEST the best television mini-series since V. Each episode has pulled me in tighter, as it plows across (so far) 50 years of US history told from a very balanced view. Characters come in and out of the story, have children who grow up before our eyes, and are exchanged for older actor versions of themselves. It is the kind of story that could only be told this way... over 6 2 hour episodes. I think I have finally found a purpose for TV. Certainly this is the draw of a shows like 24 (which I still have never seen) and I must admit I got adicted to the new Sci-Fi channel version of Battlestar Galactica. You can take as long to tell a story as you need, and you can do the kind of character development that many movies lack... and you can dialogue. And you don't have to have an explosion or a fight scene every 10 minutes.

Anyway, the final episode of INTO THE WEST debuts tonight on TNT... if you haven't caught the first 5 I'm sure you'll be completely lost but TNT may re run them and certainly a DVD is due in the future - check it out.

As Much Fun as a Barrel of Lemurs

2005-07-21T09:12:00.000-05:00

Ya'll probably saw MADAGASCAR already but being as I'm well over the target marketing age group for this Dreamworks ANimation delight, I just saw it last night. Truth be told Erin and I had tried on several occassions to find a small child to accompany us to the film, but, well, instead saw it on a weeknight with 10 other people 10 weeks after it opened. I have a soft spot in my heart for cartoons, as I used to take my little sister to get away from the family on several holiday occasions, I must admit, but I think anyone would love this movie.

MADAGASCAR follows a group of NY City Park animals who, much to their own surprise, get sent back to the wild. The lead animals, voiced by Chris Rock, Ben Stiller, Jada Pinkett-Smith, and David Schwimmer are all fun in their own personality quirk ways, but the movie is completely stolen by two sets on supporting characters: the Penguins, who hijack to the ship to get to Antartica, only to find its too cold, and the Lemurs who rule the island the animals end up on. The Lemur King, voiced by "Ali G" star Sacha Cohen steals every scene he is in, despite the valiant efforts of Cedric the Entertainer (as I would call it, the Lemur Prime Minister). My God they were funny.

I don't want to ruin any of the surprises or the brilliant sci-fi parody/reference moments that are obviously in there for the adults, so I'll just say, see this movie. If it closes this week, as I fully expect, rent it, buy it on DVD whatever. This is the first cartoon with out the Pixar label attached that really made the CGI lovable and cute (Shrek is not cute, it's funny but not cute). I recommend MADAGASCAR for kids, adults who think like kids, laughs and bringing out the animal instinct in all of us to Go Wild! Rick Rating: A -

I Love Being a White Christian Male

2005-07-20T12:29:00.000-05:00

It's so nice that I will have yet another representative of my people on the Supreme Court of the Unites States of America (assuming Judge John Roberts Jr. will be confirmed). There was all this speculation leading up to the Bush's announcement that Herr President would replace O'Connor, the first woman ever nominated to the Supreme Court, with another woman. Laura Bush seemed to think that was a good idea. In fact, 8 out of 10 people polled recently thought replacing O'Connor with another woman was a good idea. It seemed like such a good idea that yesterday every news station in America seemed to think that Bush was about to do just that, reporting the Judge Edith Clement of Louisiana as the heir apparent. Bush then laid all those suspicions to rest and nominated a 50 year old white male.

Well, thank god for that! The last thing we need on the court is another uppity woman helping to make decisions that affect women. I mean come on! We put a black up there (of course he does his best to vote with the white men), and we're doing our best to represent octengenarians and baby boomers both, what more do these people want? The supreme court was proposed, developed and perfect by white men. White men have sat on it for nigh on 200 years and they's brought us such diverse success as Plessy vs Ferguson AND Brown vs the Board of Education.

In the days to come both the democrats and the republicans will tell us how we should feel about Judge Roberts, a man with a 2 year history on the district court of appeals, who was nominated twice before for the same job but never received a vote, and whose most famous case so far seems to be upholding an arrest of a 12 year old girl for eating a french fry in a subway station. Certainly the rightys will say he's a fine example of american justice. Certainly the leftys will say he's going to send america back twenty years in its development as a progressive nation. For now let's just applaud what we know for certain, he's a bona fide WHITE CHRISTIAN MALE with a TRADITIONAL FAMILY. Well done, Herr President, well done. Long live the ascendent ones. Long live the majority. Long live the Reich.

Is Depp a Greenlighter? Pink Floyd fans hope he Shines On

2005-07-19T11:57:00.000-05:00

According to a recent interview with comingsoon.net, Johnny Depp told a reporter that he is interested in making a movie about original Pink Floyd lead singer/guitarist/songwriter/founder Syd Barrett. This could be great news for Pink Floyd fans as every thing Depp seems to touch these days turns gold. Of course, Depp specifically said he wanted to make a movie about a rock and roller, and he thought that Syd would be a good choice.

For those with pre-Dark Side impaired knowledge of Pink Floyd, Syd Barrett was the primary force in the evolution of the influential band from R+B cover band to pyschadelic darlings of the underground. He wrote or co-wrote all but one song on their debut album, The Piper At the Gates of Dawn, as well as their first three singles. In many people's eyes, he was Pink Floyd (he named the band after two relatively obscure bluesmen, crafted their image, and designed their first album cover). Syd's quick breakdown after the success of the Floyd is legendary in England. He would stand on stage playing the same chord for 40 minutes, give interviews where he just stared into the camera ("with eyes like black holes in the sky" as Waters put it in the the 1975 song "Shine On You Crazy Diamond"), or not show up at all. Certainly Syd's routine of constant hallucinogenic drug use did not help the matter, but mostly he was crumbling under the pressures of being "the next projected sound of 1967" as the record compnay was pushing.

By the time Pink Floyd was recording their second album, David Gilmour had been recruited (to play and sing when Syd didn't feel like it) and Roger Waters was writing a majority of the songs (or co-writing). One day, on the way to a gig, they decided not to pick Syd up, and that was it. He was pushed out of the band he had created. He does appear in several places on A Saucerful of Secrets, but more importantly his legacy would haunt Pink Floyd for years serving as the inspiration for the album Wish You Were Here, the character of Pink in the Wall, the song Brain Damage/Eclipse from Dark Side and countless others. He recorded two solo albums in 1969/70 with the help of all the the Floyds but has basically disappeared since, living alone in his boyhood town of Cambridge with his mother.

Syd's story is tragic, and worthy of being told. The current buzz amongst Pink Floyd fans is the Depp would be great (and that Richard Gere should play an older Waters). Myself, well, Syd has a strong place in my heart ... I honestly don't know if he would want a movie made about him. He has tried to distance himself from his past for the last 35 years, frightened almost by his legacy. According to a recent (last 10 years) radio interview with his brother-in-law, he is doing well and does not like to talk about 'his band.'

Of course, I'd also like to write a movie about Syd Barrett, as I've said to Erin on several occasions, so I'm a bit biased.

Sometimes, Pain can be very Funny, Ha Ha

2005-07-18T12:53:00.000-05:00

I ventured out into the realm of the REALLY Independent Film world this weekend and caught FUNNY HA HA - a movie made in 2002 on like nothing, which has been making its way around festivals for the last 3 years and is finally receiving 'major' release through the wonderful Landmark Theatres (amongst others). It is raw, it is directionless and it is painful... in short, it is everything I love about independent film and a movie that deserves every single dollar it scrapes up (which I suspect will not be too much).

The movie follows Marnie, a recent college grad, as she negotiates the wonderful world of being a jobless and single adult. That's right, it's everyone's 23rd year caught on film, in all it's excruciating glory. Think the answering machine sequence with Nikki in SWINGERS, and then take that social ineptitude and fill a whole movie with it. The film is heavily influenced by SLACKER, but with a far more cohesive storyline. It draws heavily from the moodiness of Todd Solondz (Welcome to the Dollhouse, Happiness) but with less actual thought.

It is, without a doubt, FUNNY. I laughed very loudly, many of the times it was out of discomfort from the characters complete lack of tact or ability to communicate with eachother. The ending is, and I will warn you outright so you are non disappointed, very sudden and unresolved. Like SLACKER it feels as if they either ran out of a) money or b) ideas and just stopped shooting. It needed just about 1 more minute of dialogue to make its point (even if its point was the unresolvability of her life - that still needed to be shown - think the end of KICKING AND SCREAMING - will he go to Prague?) I recommend this movie for feeling sorry for yourself (atleast you're better off than these characters) , and getting off your ass to do some creative work of your own. B+

Incidentally, I took part in another cultural phenomenon over the weekend as well, as I watched my wife read the entirety of the new Harry Potter book in one day. She says it's good. I don't read books so I cannot venture an opinion. But I am anxiously awaiting the fourth movie this fall.

Here's a Superhero to Root For - A Hollywod Exec With Own Idea

2005-07-15T13:11:00.000-05:00

Given that one out of every three big budget movies this year seems to be based on a comic book, and there are some 20 films currently in production with comic book roots and that even questionable successes such as Hellboy (which only turned a profit on DVD sales) seem to warrant sequels ... I am invoking a CALL TO ARMS!

The call is two-fold -

1) to the hollywood exec - open your eyes. We just went through 19 weeks of the box office not living up to the prior year's totals... ya ever think that hey maybe its the fact that you are making crap movies? A movie should lift us out of our world and take us on a journey - something unpredictable which makes us think or atleast experience the new and vivid. There is nothing more predictable that the average superhero pic a) normal person b) encounters either supernatural or psychological turmail that c) turns them into something more powerful than a normal person. They then d) learn how to use their powers, e) face conflict as to whether they really want to live a life different from everyone else, f) and finally realize that they are the only one who defeat the evil, which they do, but g) leave the door open for a sequel either by allowing the villian to live or meeting another villian right before the end of a movie. COME ON!!! tell a story we don't already know. THere must be a hundred scripts sitting on your desk with more interesting characters (and less cgi)

2) to the movie goer - stop going to these films! Just because something is declared a blockbuster doesn't mean that it is and you should go to see it. The more these films break even on DVD sales the more they will continue to be made. The next time you look to see a film, don't go on the recommendation of a friend that said Superhero 4 was 'pretty good,' read the fricking reveiws and head out to an Art House and see a solid independent film. If you want a recommendation for this weekend, see the excellent KONTROLL, a Hungarian thriller about ticket checkers on the subway in pursuit of a mysterious killer. Great flick, it's a definite A -. If you want to see a hollywood film, see the thoroughly satisfying MR. AND MRS. SMITH - which is far better than any of the previews made me believe it would be.

Bewitched with Hollywood Remakes

2005-07-14T13:40:00.000-05:00

So I saw the Will Ferrell/Nicole Kidman remake of BEWITCHED, and I have to say, I was reasonably surprised. Now, I did go in with exceedingly low expectations, and that always helps, but I was glad to see a more intelligent take on the idea of a remake. For those of you who seem to miss the ten minutes before other movies, i.e. trailers and commercials and who have been living under a rock, the concept is this: Will Ferrell plays a former A list actor who has fallen to the C list after several bombs (somewhat like Ben Affleck) and agrees to 'star' in a new television reamke of the old Bewitched series. Because he doesn't want to be upstaged, he convinces them to hire a nobody to play the witch, and stumbles upon a real witch (Nicole Kidman) who he hires immediately. The set up works well and the performances are sparkling - you can't help but feel sorry for Will the whole time, he tries so hard to make the show about his character, and he tries to impress his new co-star. Kidman, of course, makes you absolutely fall for her whenever she wants (somethig I've been victim to since To Die For). The whole problem with the movie lies in the third act, which involves the inievitable break up and get back together of the on-screen couple. Its fine, its just really cliche and the first 70 % of the movie deserved more. Another issue is the appearance of characters from original series and whether or not they are real witches (and thus were in the fifties) or if they are being imagined by the new series actors (and thus they are both going crazy). WHen an important plot point is dependent on one of these late arrivals (Uncle Arthur) it all but destroys the momentum of the movie. It really would be far more meaniful if Will Ferrell's characters had been able to come to some of the same conclusions on his own with out any Deus Ex Machina. My final complaint is the abandonment of the minor characters - the subplot with Michael Caine (Kidman's warlock father) and Shirley MacClain (Another real witch that just happens to be playing the witch aunt in the new series) is never resolved. And the most interesting minor characters, Kidman's neighbor and Ferrell's agent (Kristin Chenoweth and Jason Schwartzman) completely disappear in the third act? Are there twenty minuies of this movie somewhere on the cutting floor, or was it just really sloppy writing? We'll wait till the DVD comes out to be sure, but till then, I recommend this movie for laughs, dates, and Kidman oogling. And for Michael Caine fanatics (Though he's been a bit of a whore lately, popping up in every movie that seems to be released). I give it a solid B.

Reasons not to Blog

2005-07-08T12:08:00.000-05:00

I seriously never intended to blog. I just meant to respond to someone else's blog and somehow I ended up starting one of my own. But this isn't bad because I am currently writing a screenplay about someone who wants to be a writer and wastes a lot of time blogging. I figure this will be research a bit. As long as I don't waste too much time. Hmmm...

Here as far as I can think of, the reasons I've held to now as to why I did not want to become a blogger.

1) Its arrogant to think anyone should care about my opinion enough to read my daily thoughts
2) Its an incredible waste of time that could be better used writing somehting for real
3) it encourages poor typing habits - such as the its in the last two sentences
4) You never know when the government is going to find something to use against you
5) You never know when your friends/family are going to find something to use against you
6) Is there really that much to talk about that you must have some many people blogging all over the world?
7) I used to make fun of people who had blogs ... whoops
8) Its terrible when some entity pays you for your time and you end up fiddling around on the internet instead of working on what they are paying you to do
9) I once posted on a blog and lots of people made fun of my comments and I was very hurt, but I really do think the Dark Crystal is as good as the Star Wars films
10) I already spend enough time checking my ebay and seeing how many people have read my listamania lists on Amazon.

So there it is. I was think though to really make this blog worth while, I will definitely have to write about more than my personal life. So look for some in-depth music and movie opinions to come when I start this for real on Monday. Have a good weekend.